# The day after Christmas and all I have are 4 buns and no ham. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737 "2008-12-26T16:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/141 "2008-12-30T18:59:37Z")
> [@samm](#): > > First of all, let me be clear that I am not telling HD to eat the ham. Heaven forbid. But I kind of side with jjimm. Ham is not like pudding or stew or onion dip where one dog tooth is going to contaminate the whole thing. It’s a dense hunk of meat. If the inside of it hasn’t been touched, then the inside is still perfectly fine. It’s sliced meat swimming in the juice it was cooked in. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/142 "2008-12-30T19:02:25Z")
Oh fer chrissakes, you could wash piss off a ham too but that doesn’t make it particularly desirable as a foodstuff. I say that HD takes the fucking carcass outside and buries it with a small but tasteful marker and then digs a second smaller pit for that horrible dog. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/143 "2008-12-30T20:01:31Z")
No, no, no. why dig two holes when you only have to dig one? Shove the ham up the dog’s ass, beat him to death with the shovel then bury the hamdog. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/144 "2008-12-30T20:07:16Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > No shortage of jackasses in this thread… room for one more? Well there’s always room for a jackass of your magnitude and splendor. I like to think of you as the Dali Lama of jackasses. All the other jackasses in the world flock to you for the annual pilgrimage and guidance in the year to come.. I hope this doesn’t offend you, Sir. I am but the dirt beneath your holy jackass feet. Hail Oh great Jackass, Hail! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/145 "2008-12-30T20:11:56Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > No, no, no. why dig two holes when you only have to dig one? Shove the ham up the dog’s ass, beat him to death with the shovel then bury the hamdog. Mmmmm…hamdog. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/146 "2008-12-30T20:15:35Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Mmmmm…hamdog. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. As long as it wasn’t a pit bull or something stringy like that. Maybe one of those big ass poodles. Hmmmm. Good eatin’. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/147 "2008-12-30T20:47:55Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Mmmmm…hamdog. A ham dog requires melted cheese with it. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/148 "2008-12-30T20:50:38Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > A ham dog requires melted cheese with it. Fine, dig a pit, fill it with burning gasoline, stuff the ham up the dogs arse, wail on it with the shovel, deposit a slice of cheese on said mess, and toss in flaming hole. Waste of good cheese though. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/149 "2008-12-30T21:14:32Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Fine, dig a pit, fill it with burning gasoline, stuff the ham up the dogs arse, wail on it with the shovel, deposit a slice of cheese on said mess, and toss in flaming hole. Waste of good cheese though. So use Velveeta. Then you won’t be wasting good cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/150 "2008-12-30T21:16:27Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > So use Velveeta. Then you won’t be wasting good cheese. or use Cheez Whiz. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/151 "2008-12-30T21:20:09Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > or use Cheez Whiz. Your choice friend, because you’re still going to have to eat it. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/152 "2008-12-30T21:42:14Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > or use Cheez Whiz. I’ve never had to smell burning Cheez Whiz, and I hope to live the rest of my life that way. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/153 "2008-12-30T22:01:58Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > I’ve never had to smell burning Cheez Whiz, and I hope to live the rest of my life that way. Cheez Whiz it is then. I don’t ever want to eat Velveeta again. When camping I will boil macaroni, drain it, and add Cheez Whiz for macaroni and cheese when I don’t have a cooler to keep perishables in. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/154 "2008-12-30T22:59:17Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Cheez Whiz it is then. I don’t ever want to eat Velveeta again. When camping I will boil macaroni, drain it, and add Cheez Whiz for macaroni and cheese when I don’t have a cooler to keep perishables in. That is sick and wrong and I regret every nice thought I ever had about you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![satoridt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@satoridt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/satoridt)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/155 "2008-12-30T23:45:22Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I hate the Cubs. I’m a Reds fan. I have to. Brewers Fan, Ditto ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2008, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/156 "2008-12-31T03:44:14Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > bury the hamdog. Band name or bawdy euphemism? You make the call! ---
**Author:** ![FarmerChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@FarmerChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerChick)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/157 "2008-12-31T15:03:11Z")
Things I have learned from this thread. 1. Ham and dogs don’t mix. 2. **Jimm** and **samm** are fucking insane, and jerks. (maybe it’s the mm’s?) 3. Dopers are good people, except for the insane jerks. 4. Never eat at **Jimm** or \*\*samm’s \*\*house 5. Hamdogs and Chez Whiz + gas = good fun! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2008, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/158 "2008-12-31T16:12:15Z")
I’ve been reading this in bits and pieces. Did **HD** ever get his monitor? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/159 "2008-12-31T18:17:24Z")
On the subject of burning Cheese Whizz . . . Back in early high school while winter camping, one bright light put a jar of Cheese Whizz in the fire to thaw it out. Of course it exploded. The fragments hit one of the fellows who was standing with his back to the fire warming himself, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward into the fire. He rolled out of it quickly, but not before the back of his parka caught on fire, which he put out immediately by then rolling in the snow. The end result was a melted nylon burnt cheese mess of a parka. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/160 "2008-12-31T18:58:34Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I’ve been reading this in bits and pieces. Did **HD** ever get his monitor? I never bought one. The 19" for a $100 sold out the first day. I still don’t know if I will buy one since I haven’t found as good a deal again. It was about half price and I find it hard to part with money in hand. Some of that is on a card so I can’t just go anywhere and get a monitor either. Anything smaller than a 19 inch and I won’t be able to read anything. Maybe some better deal will show up after we start the new year. Mine isn’t dead just yet and I’m used to waiting by now. Once again thanks for the help dopers. I did buy and eat some ham yesterday, so that crisis is over. Everything else can wait. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=9)