# The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329 "2012-07-15T19:04:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/521 "2015-01-22T15:11:01Z")
Broomstick. there’s a group called ‘The Knitting Connection’ in Boston that I know of. They solicit donations of yarn, pass it out to knitters, who turn it into hats/scarves/gloves/etc which are collected and then given tor people (especially children) who are in shelters and such. Is there maybe something similar in your area? The women I know who help out (mostly elderly, to be sure) find it very satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/522 "2015-01-22T17:22:52Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Does cleaning out the freezer count? > > Work was hectic this week and we wound up eating through what was in the freezer. Sure does! > [@Broomstick](#): > > Seriously, after a big clean up I’ll wake up in the middle of the night _convinced_ I’ve thrown out something essential or that I wanted to keep, it’s all I can do to stop myself from leaping up and going through the garbage. You are not alone! This happens to me with paperwork. Here’s how I cope: all the paperwork to be chucked goes into normal bin bags. The bin bags stay **in the house** for a day or three, just in case. Then they go in the rubbish bins, but only on the day after the bin-men have been. So I’ve a bit over a week to reclaim anything accidentally chucked. It’s not perfect, but it works for me. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/523 "2015-01-22T17:48:54Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’d suggest giving the book a try. It’s not one of those books about obtaining minimalist perfection. It’s more about a process of learning to recognize why we hang on to items that make us feel bad or just cause clutter, and finding a positive way to let them go. My house is far from empty after (I tend to describe it as “Babies’R’Us got in a fight with World Market”), but it is more…edited than it used to be. > > She writes primarily for a Japanese audience that is likely hosting a multi-generational family in a tiny space, and she works with the realities that we aren’t necessarily masters of our space. I put it on hold at the library. I’m #4 though. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/524 "2015-01-23T00:16:44Z")
Broomstick, however you came by your stuff, it still makes perfect sense that’s it’s easier to donate than toss. (I should have used “one” rather than “you”, but people complaint that sounds affected.) ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/525 "2015-02-06T14:08:53Z")
Searched for clutter, and found my way to this thread! 🙂 So I’m not alone! Well, of course I knew that I wasn’t but still, good to find others tackling this life-chore. I’m a newly divorced 50 year old guy, and I wound up with the house in the deal. I’ll most likely sell the house later this year so I can move closer into the city, but that will require de-cluttering quite a bit. So here is the assessment of where I am starting. 3 bedroom house with a two car garage and an outside storage building which is about the size of one garage parking space. [ul] [li]Living Room - hardly any clutter unless you count one entire wall of bookshelves full of books. No first editions, but no absolute crap either.[/li][li]Den - still more books, two cabinets full of board games and miscellaneous DVDs that no one has watched or looked at in years.[/li][li]Kitchen - way too much glassware, dinnerware, etc. for a single guy.[/li][li]Master Bedroom - okay, now we are getting to the problem areas. Lots of clothes that need to be donated, shoes that probably should just be tossed, etc.[/li][li]Two guest bedrooms - have become a haven for “no where else to put this” items. Actually one isn’t too bad, since it has actually been used for guests. The second one though is really more of a storage area than anything. Not hoarder level by any means, it’s all kind of “handled” in that everything is in a box or in a closet.[/li][li]Garage. I’ve collected quite an assembly of tools, parts, and building supplies over the 16 years I’ve been in this house. Now both cars still fit in the garage, so again it’s “kinda” under control, but nonetheless I have a lot of stuff to sell/donate/toss.[/li][li]Storage Building - basically the same as the garage. Just stuff[/li][li]Other- attic, a few boxes of xmas decoration, that type of thing. Probably all needs to go.[/li][/ul] One barrier I have is the ex-wife. Now don’t get me wrong, we are still on speaking terms, friendly terms even. Maybe back together one day, who knows. But…she was always the one who wanted to hang on to stuff. She is quite the borderline hoarder. So, as you can probably guess, the reason we have a lot of this stuff is her reluctance to let it go years ago. But now she has her own place, and it’s small. She can’t take this stuff with her. But she insists “don’t throw out a bunch of stuff without me going through it.” Which I’m fine with. But finding the time when she is willing to do that has proven to be a challenge. So my plan is start going through the rooms above, in the order that they are listed. Anything that I think she would have even the slightest wish to hang on to goes into a “Denise box”. These boxes will be stacked up in a central location, and she will be invited to come go through them. I’ll give her a time limit of how long a box can sit before she goes through it, and if it “ages” beyond that she gets one last warning call before it goes. Thoughts on my approach? I begin the process tomorrow!! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/526 "2015-02-06T14:21:50Z")
My thoughts: Anything that is yours you can do with what you will, obviously. Don’t pile the Denise boxes in the house - _have her rent a storage unit for them_ if you can swing that. Sell it as her having control over the items. Put the Denise boxes there. That way they really are her problem and you don’t even have to worry about time limits or throwing them out down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Grrlbrarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrlbrarian/32/4048_2.png) [@Grrlbrarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrlbrarian)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/527 "2015-02-06T15:48:13Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > My thoughts: > > Anything that is yours you can do with what you will, obviously. > > Don’t pile the Denise boxes in the house - _have her rent a storage unit for them_ if you can swing that. Sell it as her having control over the items. Put the Denise boxes there. That way they really are her problem and you don’t even have to worry about time limits or throwing them out down the road. Seconded. If it’s Denise’s stuff, she needs to be responsible for storing it and going through it over time. And this way if things turn ugly, EVERYTHING that might be hers is in her custody, and you don’t have to worry about: 1) Delaying any move you might want to make; 2) Having her come over & fight with you about items. Be sure to label any boxes well (Not just Denise, but “Den bookcase, books, Denise”) to the extent you can; that will make it easier for her if she ever gets round to going through them. Tell her ahead of time that you’ll be renting a storage unit and where; find a reasonably priced one. Another alternative is to check out the price of a POD. I know they’ll deliver that anywhere, and they’ll store it (with fees), so if she can’t afford a place now, the POD can bring it right to her door later. Just IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/528 "2015-02-07T00:32:08Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Thoughts on my approach? I completely agree with a storage locker for Denise; be a sweetie and pay for one for her for a year. A small one. (Help the woman out.) If you are going to sell the house, ask a real estate agent and her stager to go through it with you first. They’ll know what stuff you’ll want to keep just because it “shows” well. (Hint: it’s never the stuff you actually like.) If Denise has any equity in the house, have her there for the walk through; it will be better if she hears the recommendation directly from the professionals. If Denise does come over, have your discards groups label in ways she’ll be sympathetic to - is she green? recyclables; compassionate? homeless shelter; pseudo-intellectual? “simplify! simplify!” Finally - and this is completely reprehensible of me to suggest - if you really hope to get back together, make time to be with her when she is going through all her stuff, when she is likely to get swamped in sentimental memories. I did not say that. ---
**Author:** ![pipperroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@pipperroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipperroo)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/529 "2015-02-19T05:25:44Z")
Went through one linen cabinet and got rid of all the sheets, towels, tablecloths etc that are too old, can’t get stains out of etc. and got a start on the second one. We can take the fabric stuff to our Vet’s office, they use them for rescues and shelter animals. It’s amazing how much extra room is in the closet now. I have also started going through my huge stack of sweaters. I love to wear sweaters, but I really don’t need 5 slightly different red sweaters, or blue or … ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/530 "2015-02-19T11:36:56Z")
OH! I want to go through our linens! I have a charity lined up, but I keep forgetting vets are willing to use worn ones. Currently, though, I’m working on maintaining what I’ve got, keeping up with the dishes, laundry, garbage, etc. Although I _did_ clear off the rocking chair in the bedroom, so yay me! (The spouse has been rocking, too). Between the cold sapping my energy and problems with my dad trying to do more has been rough. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/531 "2015-02-19T14:00:07Z")
I’ve been battling the laundry monster, and mostly winning, this week. I think I might be able to get to 1 load or less by this afternoon. The dishes are (mostly) done, the downstairs is (mostly) uncluttered. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/532 "2015-02-19T14:08:20Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I think the author’s take on letting go was what was really transformational to me-- she teaches you how to literally thank items for their service and for what they taught you (even if all they taught you was “I’ll never use a gravy boat”) and set them free. That is an issue with a lot of my stuff. Much of it represents who I used to be, or who I _wanted_ to be, rather than who I am. I’m slowly letting things go (I have a problem with dishes and glassware…) but it’s hard to admit that I’m never going to need that set of formal china or those pasta bowls or those sushi plates. I’m giving up on ambitions I used to have for myself. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/533 "2015-02-19T18:26:20Z")
My kids’ former preschool had their annual rummage sale earlier this month and I donated a boatload of stuff that the kids had outgrown. Well, technically, a minivanload, but still. The garage is now looking semi-normal instead of a like disaster area. Yay! I have also been trying to combat clutter by not buying more stuff. I have a weakness for clearance items and good deals. I am trying to resist the good deals and only buy something if it is on my list of things that I need to buy. ---
**Author:** ![minionkat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@minionkat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minionkat)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/534 "2015-02-21T13:02:26Z")
I haven’t been in this thread in two and a half years. Between working too much and then being demotivated by not working at all, I have made very little progess. Until recently. My boyfriend is moving in in a few months. I had to get my act together. I have just arranged to get rid of about 75% of my clothes (I have lots, and even more I don’t wear). They will be all gone by the first week in March. I have a friend who upcycles them into new clothes. I have two bags (so far) of books for the Goodwill. I am spending an hour a day just going through stuff and pitching. It is very liberating. I am loving life right now and decluttering is a big part of it. I am loving looking at minimalist design. I think that’s where I am headed. No more stuff. I can’t wait. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/535 "2015-02-21T16:13:37Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Some of the rest is the products of my crafting - all those blankets, scarves, etc. DID serve a useful purpose, entertaining me in their making, but after 45 years of various fiber arts I have far too many. I really should donate them but I’m finding a surprising number of restrictions in doing so in some circumstances. > > [snip] > > I going to keep making crafty stuff, I enjoy it too much to stop. The problem is the stuff piling up (when my great aunt Pearl died there were _crates_ of her hand made lace left to the family - very pretty, but how many lace dresser runners can anyone use?). Lately, I’ve been doing the very practical thing of knitting socks - useful, don’t take up much space, and they’ve replaced some of the socks I had that wore out (And yes, I’ve thrown those worn out pairs out. Yay!). > > I don’t want to stop making things, but I need to do something with what I make and, needless to say, making something beautiful only to throw it out is NOT going to happen around here. What about setting up an Etsy shop and maybe making some cash off of it? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/536 "2015-02-21T22:53:16Z")
The Etsy shop is definitely in the works. I intended to open one in the summer, however - - between the new job, and the new job going from part-time to full time quickly I felt it necessary to concentrate on getting up to speed at work. That part is humming along nicely now. - my father has recently been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Although things aren’t dire yet, I’m a little hesitant about taking on a new project under the circumstances, as I know the spouse and I will be contributing to his final care - BUT I still want to do it. So I’m organizing/cleaning up/doing some planning to open the shop _anyway_… but when I do so I want to be sure I have items ready to go. I do not think I should be taking on commissions or special orders at present, simply because I don’t want to blow deadlines. Either I have it ready or it doesn’t go up on Etsy. It will happen, but I want to be careful not to overload myself during the next year given the family upheaval we know is coming. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2015, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/537 "2015-02-22T11:40:15Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > N > > Some of the rest is the products of my crafting - all those blankets, scarves, etc. DID serve a useful purpose, entertaining me in their making, but after 45 years of various fiber arts I have far too many. I really should donate them but I’m finding a surprising number of restrictions in doing so in some circumstances. > > So… the problem isn’t that I’m always running out and buying a lot of crap, it’s that I have a lot of trouble throwing _anything_ and now have a half century of stuff piled up. I think I’ve got the input problem largely under control (as evidenced that when I stop the purging the piles don’t grow), now I have to work on the output part of it. > > I going to keep making crafty stuff, I enjoy it too much to stop. The problem is the stuff piling up (when my great aunt Pearl died there were _crates_ of her hand made lace left to the family - very pretty, but how many lace dresser runners can anyone use?). Lately, I’ve been doing the very practical thing of knitting socks - useful, don’t take up much space, and they’ve replaced some of the socks I had that wore out (And yes, I’ve thrown those worn out pairs out. Yay!). > > I don’t want to stop making things, but I need to do something with what I make and, needless to say, making something beautiful only to throw it out is NOT going to happen around here. This is sort of where we, or at least my wife is at. At last count yesterday I noted 4 tubs labeled either “art supplies” or “crafts” including several packed tight with material. She was an art major and former art teacher who still loves that stuff but never has time (somehow). Well at least a tub of fabric is lighter than a same size tub of books. Books are damn heavy! ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2015, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/538 "2015-02-22T11:43:25Z")
We went thru our assorted “party goods” stuff and found over 3 tubs of paper plates, plastic ware, and various birthday and holiday stuff like napkins and plates with “Clifford the Big Red Dog” on them. We used to entertain more. Seriously I cant believe we have just kept buying paper plates. But at least now we know where it is and the next time we go to an event we can say “we will bring plates and forks”. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2015, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/539 "2015-02-22T11:47:16Z")
> [@Grrlbrarian](#): > > Seconded. If it’s Denise’s stuff, she needs to be responsible for storing it and going through it over time. And this way if things turn ugly, EVERYTHING that might be hers is in her custody, and you don’t have to worry about: 1) Delaying any move you might want to make; 2) Having her come over & fight with you about items. Be sure to label any boxes well (Not just Denise, but “Den bookcase, books, Denise”) to the extent you can; that will make it easier for her if she ever gets round to going through them. Tell her ahead of time that you’ll be renting a storage unit and where; find a reasonably priced one. Another alternative is to check out the price of a POD. I know they’ll deliver that anywhere, and they’ll store it (with fees), so if she can’t afford a place now, the POD can bring it right to her door later. Just IMHO. Can I add also when labeling a box; Make 3 labels. Top, broad side, narrow side. That way no matter how the box sits on a shelf you will know what it is. Also go out and buy a big bunch of plastic tubs from WalMart. This way when storing they will be a more consistent size plus are sort of rodent and waterproof. Do NOT buy clear or see thru tubs because those tend to crack. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2015, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329/540 "2015-02-22T11:49:44Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > [li]Den - still more books, two cabinets full of board games and miscellaneous DVDs that no one has watched or looked at in years.[/li]!! Wish I could take the board games off your hands. I sort of collect board games. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-de-clutter-and-clean-up-support-thread/628329.md?page=28)