The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
201

Has anyone here ever heard of ‘‘The Joy of Less’’? This book lit a fire under my ass like nothing I can explain. Since I started reading it, I have been obsessed with de-cluttering the house. Saturday, instead of going out for my birthday, I chose to declutter. Five HUGE boxes to Goodwill just from the kitchen and living room alone. My husband, who is a natural minimalist, has been elated with my complete turnaround. We now have nothing in the kitchen or living room that we don’t use on a regular basis. We probably reduced our possessions in those rooms by about half.

Next is the bedroom, which has been the dumping ground for miscellaneous crap for too long. I keep waking up and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I went through all of my clothes last night, got rid of about 75% of them. Yes, 75% of them. They don’t fit me, and I’m tired of feeling crappy every time I look at clothes I can’t fit into.

I have forced myself to be absolutely ruthless in my appraisal of whether to keep something or not. Have I used it in the last year? If not, out it goes, regardless of how ‘‘nice’’ it is. I gave away a set of 10 very expensive crystal wine glasses we received as a wedding gift 7 years ago, because my husband is allergic to wine and we never use them. Many nice dishes and crystal vases are all gone. Gave away my food processor, because I never use it. Gave away about half of my books, because I have a Kindle now anyway.

This book has some great ideas that are inspiring me to think creatively. The most helpful…

Inner Zones, Outer Zones, and Deep Storage. It’s pretty simple, keep the stuff you use the most often in a very convenient location, stuff you use periodically in a reasonable to reach location, and stuff you rarely use (like Christmas decorations or something) in Deep Storage. I think to some extent I’ve thought like this, but never with as much conscious effort. For example, I now have a drawer with just a handful of utensils that I use almost every day (can opener, kitchen shears, etc), and a separate spot for utensils I use more periodically or rarely.
**
Modules.** Keep all the stuff for a given activity in the same general area, so it can be easily accessed and easily put away.

**One In, One Out.**If you bring anything new into the home, you must get rid of something comparable.

Base Wardrobe Colors. Pick a base color for your wardrobe, and a complimentary accent color, and make that the basis for your wardrobe. Eventually you’ll have a bunch of stuff with the same color theme so you can mix and match with impunity, and you won’t have to keep a bunch of extra clothes, shoes, purses, etc. But remember - one goes in, one goes out! I think this is genius! For my base color, I’m trying to decide between black or brown. I have roughly the same amount of each color in my closet at present. I can’t afford all new clothes and it seems like that would be a waste of money anyway, but little by little I’ll swap out the older stuff with newer stuff following my color theme.

Slippery Surfaces. Think of all surfaces as slippery! They can’t hold onto objects that are placed on them. When you leave a room, all surfaces should be clear.

Wow, this is so much fun. I would have never imagined in a million years that getting rid of so much stuff would make me feel this good. We move a lot and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change anytime soon, so next time we move we will have about half of what we usually do to haul around! Awesome.

I told my husband that if he finds I’ve left anything out of place, he is officially invited to put it on my bed. He is, of course, delighted.

202

You know, I read a post like the one above and I think: no, actually I don’t feel good for de-cluttering to that extent. After spending a day doing a deep cleaning it’s likely I feel physically ill (frickin’ allergies!), and I might go through days, or even weeks, of mental distress.

I think that’s a very important difference people such as olivesmarch4th don’t get about people like me. Clearing out all that stuff actually makes me feel bad for awhile. Almost disoriented. I have days/weeks of fearing I threw out/gave away something I’ll later find I need, wake-up-at-2am-in-a-near-panic level of distress. It’s not rational, I’ll be the first to admit it’s not rational, but it’s still there.

Yes, after awhile I start to feel better about it. I do feel better when things like my kitchen and dishes are clean which is probably why, no matter how cluttered my house has been, those items have always been done. I do, however, have an abnormally strong attachment to material objects.

So while, yes, I’ve read The Joy of Less frankly a lot of the suggestions cause anxiety just reading about them, much less doing them.

For me, it’s been a long, slow process of slowly desensitizing myself to the distress-causing types of de-cluttering and cleaning, a slow process of treating my rebellious mind that yes, it IS worth the distress of doing this because in a week or two I’ll start to feel better. Oh, and finding out I really need to cover up and breathe through a heavy duty dusk mask while cleaning due to physical issues. I can’t help but think it was years of feeling ill/unable to breathe after cleaning that started this vicious cycle in the first place.

That said, my best friend is here and we’ll be spending some of the next few days working on my house. As she told me, I have made considerable progress these past few years and in a few more I’ll get to where I’d like to be. Better yet, I’ll have dealt with some of the root causes and develop better means of dealing with the problem and maintaining good habits.

It’s sort of like maintaining long-term weight loss - it comes easier to some than to others, some folks have conflating issues, but in the long run it’s not so much how fast the weight comes off but that you maintain a healthy weight. Likewise, it’s not so much how fast I de-clutter my house but that it stays de-cluttered once it’s done.

203

This is a really good point. The book is not written for people who have emotional issues with cluttering and hoarding. It’s written for people like me, who are typically lazy and messy and who never really sat down and thought about the practical purpose of having so much stuff. I feel worse when I’m surrounded by clutter than when I am not. I’d say it’s more to help people who buy too much stuff just to have more stuff, who need to let go of the constant need for consumer stimulation. For me it read like a pragmatic how-to manual, not a hierarchy of anxiety exposure activities. I apologize if I was insensitive to that.

204

Hmm… mostly I was trying to make the point that there is no one-size-fits all solution.

Actually, that book does have some useful concepts, but how I interpret inner zones, outer zones, and deep storage might differ. I know people who have off-site storage units and swear by them for their deep storage needs, but I don’t think it would be a good idea for me. I do think the “module” concept is valuable and I’m trying to implement it. On the other hand “slippery surfaces” won’t work for me for much of the time - when I’m doing my artwork/leatherwork/other projects I can’t just bundle everything into a drawer, the process often requires things like extended drying times so items have to be left out. That doesn’t mean chaos gets a free reign, one can leave such surfaces in an orderly state even if not clean.

Half the battle is finding out what the source of the clutter is, how one got into that state. That will then dictate the path to effective solutions.

Oh, and today we cleaned out under the sink, cleaned the kitchen cabinets, and did the closet purge. Actually I got halfway through the entire closet and my friend said - that stuff in the back, are you going to purge that, too? I said no, I’d had enough for the moment. But I’d pulled out two laundry baskets of clothes I can part with, which leaves notably more room for what’s left and I’ll call that a victory right now. It’s progress, and I’m not upset over it. I want to stop while it still feels good and do another purge in about six months. I’m slowly training myself not to fear this. Although next time it might be putting some of the stuff into the rag bag rather than Goodwill, I’ve got some work clothes in a frightful state.

We’ll probably do more after lunch and a nap - we were all up to around 2 am last night/this morning catching up, having a great dinner, and so forth so us all being old farts a nap is in order. So… later more purging/cleaning. Then I’ll be cooking dinner for everyone and we’ll probably watch a movie on the TV.

She offered to help my spouse with his clutter. He doesn’t need help deciding to throw stuff out, he needs help actually moving the stuff due to weakness and disability. So she may be hauling some stuff to the dumpster under his direction later, or we both will if there’s anything that requires two people.

Not that that is the whole of her visit, we’re doing a lot of fun stuff, too, but she helps other people tackle their household issues, she derives some definite satisfaction from helping out friends that way.

205

To me, there’s such a thing as too minimal. To me, “minimalist” can feel very cold and stark.

206

olives, loving the ideas that you have brought out from that book. They are exactly the way I look at things!

Except the wardrobe thing. I am all about bright colours. I couldn’t possibly just have one set hue. What I do instead is keep my colours to my top half and pick a neutral bottom that they all go with.

(Though I also religiously go through my closet twice a year when I go through the kids’ stuff. Anything that doesn’t fit, goes. Anything I don’t like, goes.)

207

I’m trying not to go overboard. It’s not that I can’t have anything at all on the surfaces, I just set a limit of like two or three things. For example my end table now has two photo frames, a tissue box, and a clay jar where I put my cell phone so I don’t have to look for it all the time. I want a home that feels ‘‘lived-in’’ as well. I’m trying to go with that quote, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” This leaves room open for aesthetic appreciation too.

I might like this idea better. The book said something about accent colors too, for example brown hues as a base color and cream as the accent. Then go crazy with accessories to add color. That was the idea. Frankly I’m a pretty boring dresser, I feel best in earth tones and don’t really have very high expectations for clothes. I could see this not working at all for a fashion maven. I’m a little bit excited because I got an Amazon gift card for my birthday and I might actually spend it on a couple of new pieces of clothing. And at that time I’ll throw out a couple old ones, of course. I just really like the idea of being able to go into my closet and know that I will look good/feel comfortable in every single thing on the rack.

I’m almost finished decluttering the bedroom. I never realized how huge it was until I cleared all that stuff out. After the bedroom is the 2nd bedroom, then the bathroom, then the hall closet. And that’s it.

208

It doesn’t have to be a single color/shade. My redheaded cousin has a ton of stuff in grey (marengo and light grey) and black; I’ve got tons in dark blue (navy or denim) and in white. And like perfectparanoia, I have most of my bright colors in my tops, from T-shirts to coats. The reason certain colors and items are called “basics” is that they’re combinable with many other things.

209

Today, in addition to a sweep of the garbage cans, we purged some more of the clothes, bagged the Goodwill clothes, bagged pop cans for the recycler, made up another bag of scrap metal for the recycler, a large bag of books for the library, got another shelf up in the “third room” and reorganized some of the stuff in there.

Then we went out for lunch.

Then everyone wanted a nap :slight_smile:

We’ll be doing more this evening but it’s already looking better. We’ll be planning some running around type errands for tomorrow (like… a trip to Goodwill, to the recycler, to the library…)

210

I’m not going to be home much tomorrow, so trying to get at least essentials done today, with little energy. Laundry today so DH isn’t going to be worrying about clean clothes tomorrow when I’m wiped out, prep food for tomorrow so it can be zapped and eaten, etc.

211

Got rid of FOUR more bags of stuff for the garbage, from the kitchen mostly, and filled up the compost bucket with things like expired flour. Reconfigured the corner of the kitchen I eventually want to put a freezer in, moved the bird cages there, and scrubbed the floor thoroughly. Also put more stuff from the living space into the “third room” for storage. Yay us. Did trigger a bit of my asthma but got right on it.

So far, physically, I’m feeling OK (which is a major thing for me and cleaning, as anyone reading my cleaning threads knows). This time the whole reconfiguration of space thing and tossing a lot of this stuff is not bothering me, so I think I’m making progress on the emotional issues, too.

Still far from perfect, but Progress Has Been Made.

Still have one more day before I have to go back to work, and one more day of emotional/moral support. I think, however, we’ll be doing more errand running tomorrow, as the streets should be in better shape. (The snow, however inconvenient for driving, was exceedingly pretty, though)

212

Over the last few months I cleaned out the kitchen nook, have cleaned 1/2 of the bedroom floor.

BF doesn’t help because he’ll pile stuff on a side table, some of it will fall on the floor, and he won’t seem to notice, but will simply pile more stuff. Lather, rinse, repeat.

There’s still a lot to do, and I get a mild anxiety attack throwing out stuff, but I set a goal (fill one box with clutter and go through it, put away, throw away, give away, or shred) and make myself do it despite the hyperventilation. And I’m picking an area and working on it til it’s clear. First it was the kitchen. Now it’s the bedroom. It’s hard, but I keep in mind what other peoples’ houses look like, ie, tidy, clean, and remind myself that my place is not the norm, nor an acceptable environment to live in. And I feel so much better when I’ve gotten rid of stuff. But my house is in such a state it’s overwhelming. And like I said, when someone else is adding to the entropy it doesn’t help.

My achievement this week: I cleaned under the bed Tuesday. Go me!

213

Bookshelf purge this morning.

So… three bags of books for the library. One large bag of clothes to goodwill. Now I have to go to the bank, hit the grocery store, and my friend is insisting we doing the laundry today to catch up on everything not yet washed.

214

Finally, there was a sunny day on the weekend!

Our garage had become a dumping place for…well, lots of stuff that didn’t belong there. Now it’s cleaned out and the kids can get their bikes and such in and out (theoretically) without bashing the car.

And my husband and I wrote down the tasks that we are each responsible for and made a weekly checklist. The house is tidy and I have clean underwear that I didn’t wash for the first time in months! (My husband is supposed to be in charge of laundry.)

Additionally, hubby is now in charge of tidying the main floor (though I do a lot of it while cooking dinner). He finally gets why I am so frustrated with the kids just dropping things EVERYWHERE. He actually chastised them for it. Unheard of.

There was one decluttering failure this weekend, though. I had to get out the spring shoes and my son’s crocs are just…missing. WTH? They should all be in the same place. Very confusing. I have probably put them somewhere they don’t belong and will find them after summer is over and they don’t fit him anymore.

215

I’ve set a new high watermark for getting my house in order. There are actually NO messy rooms downstairs. The laundry backlog is less than a week’s worth. Most of the upstairs is neat as well, and the rooms that ARE messy, are not “dirty”, they just need to be picked up. But maybe I’ll try to tackle that this week sometime. Would be awesome to get all the way to 100%, even just for one shining moment.

All but one of the bathrooms are clean.

I was pretty much cleaning up all day today, and now my lower back is hurting something fierce. But it’s clean! :slight_smile:

216

I took a big bag of clothes that I didn’t want or couldn’t take in to fit me to the thrift store and replaced it with four good articles of clothing that fit and that I will wear. My closet looks so organized now!

217

Due to various issues my cleaning program got a bit derailed. Well, that happens. I am happy to say, however, that we have maintained the progress already made. That is, we have not accumulated more stuff to fill the spaces and have maintained what order was instated.

This, despite a MAJOR incident of roof damage and flooding, job loss, and an on-going legal issue involving unpaid wages that is taking up some time. So, yay me, it seems that even if I’m not moving forward much at least I’m not backsliding, either. This is huge for me. It also means that it’s worth it to expend the energy to keeping moving forward, even if slowly, because once this place is decluttered and clean up I should be able to keep it that way!

Most recently, I started working again on the “third room” and got another bag of garbage out of it. I am EXTREMELY aggravated over it, though, as quite a bit of stuff in there is my husband’s and it’s a PITA to drag him over to it so it can be gone through/moved/stored/tossed as appropriate. We’ve had a couple of tiffs over it as well as tight finances these past couple months.

Have also properly bagged those magazines that have my published words in them. Since I intend to keep them they should be kept properly. I think I’m at the point to toss all the others, though, the outdated ones. There are definitely some going to the recycler next trip, I’ve managed to “divorce” myself from them.

It’s still slow and frustrating.

Oh - and I’ve switched jobs and my new boss is even more of a hoarder and slob than I am. I mean, it’s to the point that when he tells me to clean up and organize some shelves in the shop he has to leave the room. He appreciates the clean up/organizing but it clearly distresses him. Even if nothing is thrown out just shifting things around is a problem for him (which he “solves” by having the employees do this while he’s out of the room - a clumsy work-around but it does work) Oh, and the shop has been there 60 years, some of the stuff strata are near geological. It both reassures me I’m not alone and oddly enough inspires me to NOT to that at home!

218

Wow. I’m going to have to subscribe to this thread. It’s been going for awhile, and that’s what it takes to fight the clutter. Keeping at it. You are all very inspiring.

I always had the most difficulty getting rid of things that other people had given me, over the years. Last year and the year before that collided with stuff from dead people. I found out that it was easier to let things go if I wrote about them and/or took pictures. So I started a blog. It may not be interesting to anyone else, ever; but it’s helped me go through a lot of things.

Which is good because the stacks got a little high once or twice. Looking back lets me feel happier about the current state of affairs. But not too happy. There are still more than a few boxes that have not reached their final state. And I’m not going to think about the house repairs, now.

Deep breath. Next round.

219

Posting to subscribe.

I have the problem where I tend to assign feelings to inanimate objects and other associations with them making it harder to part with them. I also have problems with the idea of throwing stuff away that can be recycled or donated. So I tend to collect that stuff in an area until I have enough to take somewhere.

220

I just got rid of a stack of folders full of medical/insurance records nearly twelve inches tall.

Big deal, you say, you’re supposed to keep medical records.

Yeah, but these were for my father. Who died in 1977. What are the odds I’d be asked to prove that a given bill was properly paid THIRTY FIVE YEARS later??