# The Deadly Sarah Connor Assassination Squad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623 "2005-12-14T19:46:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/1 "2005-12-14T19:46:36Z")
I’ve gotten two very positive responses to my current sig: > [@](#): > > “Bidi, bidi, bidi. Sarah Connor?” > > ``` > -- Skynet unwisely goes with the lowest bidder > > ``` It makes me wonder what other robots’ responses to the situation would be. Suggest your own scenario! Marvin: Sarah Connor? Not Again! It’s just tooooo depressing. I’ll come back later. C3PO: Oh, my! Sarah Connor? I am C3PO, and this is my counterpart, R2D2. We’re here to – Oh, dear, this is embarassing – We are supposed to assassinate you. If you don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/2 "2005-12-14T19:56:22Z")
I have a picture in my head of Robbie the Robot chasing Sarah Connor, waving a pistol in his stubby arms, and repeating, “Danger, Sarah Connor! Danger!” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/3 "2005-12-14T19:59:02Z")
Hm. I think that would be more Robot’s line, from Lost in Space. ED-209: “I am now authorized to use lethal force.” huh. Not much of a change there, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/4 "2005-12-14T20:00:20Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I have a picture in my head of Robbie the Robot chasing Sarah Connor, waving a pistol in his stubby arms, and repeating, “Danger, Sarah Connor! Danger!” But you mixing “Robot” of Lost in space with Robbie the Robot of Forbidden Planet and Twilight zone appearances. About K-9 as the assassin. Death by Sonic Screwdriver? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/5 "2005-12-14T20:02:52Z")
Rosie: Mr. G. said I should rub you out (approaches with a large eraser) ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/6 "2005-12-14T20:09:07Z")
Bender: I was hired by some bad dudes over at Skynet to rub you out, but if you’ve got a little cashola to spare I’ll be willing to just tell them I did it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/7 "2005-12-14T20:09:55Z")
Bender: “You want me to do what? No way, man. But my buddy Clamps will do it, for the right price.” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/8 "2005-12-14T20:22:59Z")
I AM NOMAD DESTROY ALL CARBON BASED UNITS NAMED SARAH CONNNORS Daleks: EXTERMINATE HER ! EX-TERMINATOR! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/9 "2005-12-14T20:29:02Z")
**Buffybot:** I want to hurt you, but I can’t resist the sinister attraction of your curvy and muscular body! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/10 "2005-12-14T20:32:44Z")
Cybermen: We would be willing to assasinate this "Sarah Connor for you. (Under-breath: And while we have traveled back in time, we will convert all non-organic life) Skynet: Alright, would these gold coins do for payment? _Throws them at the Cyberman, assuming it will catch them. Instead, it hits it’s chestplate._ Cyberman: Noooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/11 "2005-12-14T20:33:34Z")
Number Five: Number Five disassemble Sarah? Disassemble?!? No! No disassemble! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/12 "2005-12-14T20:34:19Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > **Buffybot:** I want to hurt you, but I can’t resist the sinister attraction of your curvy and muscular body! Considering the target, wouldn’t it be a Willowbot saying that? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/13 "2005-12-14T20:52:48Z")
Hey, the Buffybot has an AC/DC adapter as standard equipment! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/14 "2005-12-14T21:05:13Z")
Data: Hello, Sarah Connor. My name is Data, and I have been paid a great deal by Skynet to assassinate you. Sarah: But I thought you admired humans and wanted to be more like them. Data: That is true. But betraying one’s friends for money is an extremely human quality. Committing this act will actually help me accomplish my goal. Sarah: Well, you’ve got a point. Data: As to the execution itself, I have been studying methods used across the galaxy. The Gulmothans of Altair VII, for instance, enjoy stuffing rocks and dirt down the mouths of their victims until death occurs. The Rimaii of Tau Ceti Delta hang their victims over a pit filled with venomous snakes and coat the rope with a paste that a certain breed of local carnivores enjoy eating; the carnivores come and gnaw at the rope until it breaks, dropping the victim. A particularly nasty … Sarah: By any chance, were you just going to bore me to death with one of your damn speeches? I think I’d rather go with the snake thing. Data: As you wish. (taps communicator) Two to beam up! Sarah: Wait! Wait! I have an even better idea! Data: (taps communicator) Cancel that! Sarah: How about you just don’t kill me at all! Double-cross Skynet! If there’s ANYTHING that’s a human behavior, it’s double-crossing someone. Data: Indeed. You have given me much to think about. Good day. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/15 "2005-12-14T21:45:41Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > \*I’ve gotten two very positive responses to my current sig: > > “Bidi, bidi, bidi. Sarah Connor?” > > – Skynet unwisely goes with the lowest bidder \* Growing up, I had a friend who also watched “Buck Rogers” who could do a dead-on Twiki saying, “Bidi bidi bidi. Fuck you, Buck!” Broke me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/16 "2005-12-14T22:41:13Z")
“Crush, Kill, Destroy Sarah Conner” What do you want from a mail order catalog? ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/17 "2005-12-14T23:13:14Z")
Tik-tok: Sa-rah Con-nor? I have been as-signed to kill you. [nothing happens] Tik-tok: My clock-work seems to have run down. Please wind me up so I can ac-com-plish the mis-sion. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/18 "2005-12-14T23:29:26Z")
\*\*Robocop \*\* 1. Serve the public trust 2. Protect the innocent 3. Uphold the law 4. \*Classified \* (Kill Sarah Connor) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/19 "2005-12-14T23:39:39Z")
Berserker : “Sarah Conner. Badlife. Badlife_badlife_…” Bolo : “_Despite the Enemy’s frenetic attempts to evade, she perished easily. It took .001 one seconds to aquire target lock, and a single round from one of my infinite repeaters vaporised .77 of her body mass._” ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/20 "2005-12-15T01:04:44Z")
**Gort** ‘Sarah Connor vitada nicto’ [sup]\*[/sup] **V.I.C.I** ‘Jaime-told-me-to-kill-sometime-while-waiting-for-him-do-you-want-me-to-kill-you-by-firing-rockets-out-of-my-chest-or-would-you-prefer-I-strangle-you.’ (_laughter_) [sup]\*[/sup] Yes, I know this was Klaatu’s line (and Gort spoke English, IIRC). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623.md?page=2)