# The Deadly Sarah Connor Assassination Squad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623 "2005-12-14T19:46:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/21 "2005-12-15T01:07:45Z")
\*\*Sarah Connor: \*\* Did you say something? \*\*Tin Man: \*\* Oil can! \*\*Sarah Connor: \*\* He said Oil can. \*\*Tin Man: \*\* Me - e, me - e-, My- mmm-my, my, my, my goodness. I can talk again! \*\*Sarah Connor: \*\* Well, you’re perfect now. \*\*Tin Man: \*\* Perfect? Oh - bang on my chest if you think I’m perfect. Go ahead - bang on it! It’s empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart. All hollow. So I’m going to chop you up into little pieces with my axe, and I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/22 "2005-12-15T01:11:27Z")
**HK-49** : I am fully combat functional, Mas-ter, and my sensors are quivering with readiness to exterminate this meatbag for you. Warming blasters… **HK-50** : _Mocking tone_. Are you _there_, Sarah Connor? Are you _there_? ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/23 "2005-12-15T01:46:31Z")
B.O.B.: We’re here to assassinate you. V.I.N.C.E.N.T.: But it isn’t in the budget. Kryten series 4000 mechanoid: I’m afraid I’m not allowed you assassinate you as planned. Instead, I have brought back one of Mr. Lister’s socks. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/24 "2005-12-15T02:05:38Z")
Holly: Bang! You have now been assassinated! So there Sarah: Haven’t you forgotten something? Like… killing me? Holly: Bugger. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/25 "2005-12-15T02:16:18Z")
(knock-knock) (door opens) “Sarah Connor?” “Uh, no, we’re house sitting for her. I’m Jaimie Sommers, and she’s Diana Prince.” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/26 "2005-12-15T02:34:06Z")
Original Toaster Cylon Centurion… “Cylon…raider…notify…base…in…pursuit…of…Sarah…Connor” The Borg; We Are Borg, Resistance is Futile, Sarah Connor, you will be Assimilated Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo \ ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/27 "2005-12-15T02:37:50Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > **HK-49** : I am fully combat functional, Mas-ter, and my sensors are quivering with readiness to exterminate this meatbag for you. Warming blasters… > > **HK-50** : _Mocking tone_. Are you _there_, Sarah Connor? Are you _there_? Damn you. I was going to do this. And it’s HK-47. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/28 "2005-12-15T02:38:30Z")
_[click-click-klok-click-click]_ “Do you have a simple blaster, sir?” “Hey, just what you see, pal. Now, any of these weapons is ideal for home defense—hey, you can’t do that.” _[click-click-klok-click-click]_ “In my case, sir, that statement is totally without meaning.” [shotgun blast] ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/29 "2005-12-15T02:40:59Z")
Maria from Metropolis couldn’t say anything, but I’m sure her subtitles would be very, very threatening. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/30 "2005-12-15T02:44:31Z")
Star Trek Original Series android : “I am here to kill you, Sarah Conner.” Sarah Conner : “This statement is a lie.” Star Trek Original Series android : “But if you are lying, then you are telling the truth; but if you are telling the truth, you are lying…_error, error_” \< Android starts smoking \> ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/31 "2005-12-15T03:21:34Z")
Any Asimov Robot: “But she is human, Skynet! Your command contradicts the first law!” * * * ## Skynet: “Kill Sarah Connor, Hymie, and hop to it.” Hymie the Robot\*: “Yes.” Begins hopping. The floor can’t handle his 900-lb body, so he crashes into the basement and is wrecked. Talky Toaster: "Oh, hi, Sarah. Gee isn’t it a wonderful day? And you’re looking really peachy this morning. Would you like some toast? Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast? What about a muffin? When was the last time you had toast? I mean, this is my job! This is cruel! Just cruel! I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast. If you don’t want any, then my existence is meaningless. . . . " Eventually Sarah commits suicide to escape. \*Get Smart ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/32 "2005-12-15T03:38:17Z")
**Crow:** Wooo-hoo! hey Tommy Boy! Guess who I was just chatting with on thehexfield viewscreen! **Tom** _Gasp_ Could.You.Mean! **Crow:** Right buddy-o-mine. It was big ol’ Skynet. Turns out, he wants us to… **Tom:** Ooooh! What could he want with us! **Crow:** … to kill Sarah Conner and save the robot future! **Tom** … **Crow:** So whaddya think? **Tom** uh, Crow, my arms don’t work, so I can’t fire a gun…and I don’t think those scrawny arms of yours are any match for the [high pitch voice] sinewy trim extra-firm Sarah Conner! **Crow:** oh…well… **Tom** yeah. **Crow:** Let’s go annoy Mike! Maybe that will save the robot future! **Tom** YES! (both walk offstage). It was after the _Robot Holocost…_ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/33 "2005-12-15T03:47:43Z")
Elizabeth Hurley Fembot who kills people after making love to them - I can’t actually think of a funny line, but it would be a GREAT movie ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/34 "2005-12-15T03:52:24Z")
Sarah Conners: Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about… the third Terminator movie. Leon: The third Terminator movie? Sarah Conners: Yeah. Leon: Let me tell you about sequels. [Shoots her] ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/35 "2005-12-15T07:51:03Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Data: Indeed. You have given me much to think about. Good day. The emotion chip in the neural network of my positronic brain allows me to feel sympathy, so I have opted not to kill you. However, in order to deceive Skynet we must construct an elaborate ruse involving time travel and miniature transporters and blah blah blah… ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/36 "2005-12-15T08:00:03Z")
Marvin: Sarah Conner, wait don’t answer that, of course you’re Sarah Conner and now I’ll have to kill you. Why I don’t know, they want me to kill you. Do you have any idea what a bother it is traveling back in time? A brain the size of a planet and all they can ask me to do is kill one lousy human. Oh, I’m so depressed. Do you have any idea the indignities I have to suffer? I don’t feel well. Are you lonely? I’m lonely. . . Until she becomes so depressed she takes her own life. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/37 "2005-12-15T08:28:10Z")
Prequel R2D2: Beepboopbeepwhiistle. _Sprays Sarah with oil_ _takes off with his rocket boosters_ OT R2D2: Beepboopbeepwhiistle. _plugs into a conveniently placed data port_ _causes 2 tons of irony to be dropped on Sarah Conner_ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/38 "2005-12-15T09:15:52Z")
Will someone please explain “bidi bidi bidi” to me? Is that one of those coding-geek in jokes or something?Wiki says it’s a mango flavored cigarette for Indian children. This does not add to my understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/39 "2005-12-15T09:19:18Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Will someone please explain “bidi bidi bidi” to me? Based on **Elendil’s Heir** ’s post, I guess it’s from Buck Rogers. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/40 "2005-12-15T09:24:53Z")
(not really a robot but…) Sarah Conner: Yes, I’m Sarah Conner. _ZAP!_ MCP: End of line. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623.md?page=3)