# The Deadly Sarah Connor Assassination Squad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623 "2005-12-14T19:46:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/81 "2005-12-15T21:11:18Z")
COMPUTERIZED HUMANOID ELECTRONICALLY ENHANCED SECRET ENFORCER Director: "Okay, in this scene, CHEESE has been stolen and reprogrammed by Skynet to search out and kill Sarah Connor, and Mac, you’re supposed to protect her. " [Joey takes CHEESE’s arm and accidentally breaks it off. His eyes open wide and he looks around and spots costar Linda Hamilton.] Joey: “How _you_ doin?” ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/82 "2005-12-15T21:12:16Z")
“Wen’t”? Must be technoslang of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/83 "2005-12-15T21:22:21Z")
I can’t think of anything right now, but I would love to imagine the Crockydiles from _Pearls Before Swine_ dressed in tinfoil and cardboard costumes, trying to kill Sarah Conner. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/84 "2005-12-15T21:35:48Z")
Slowly, the Roomba approached Sara Conner. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/85 "2005-12-15T21:36:43Z")
Inch by inch… ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/86 "2005-12-15T21:39:03Z")
Now I am Imaging a Pool Vacuum Bot strangling her and dragging her under the water to drown. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/87 "2005-12-15T21:46:44Z")
ROBOT BUTLER FROM WOODY ALLEN’S “SLEEPER”: Excuse me, Doctor. Skynet has instructed me to kill your guest, Ms. Connor. When will you be wanting lunch? ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/88 "2005-12-16T01:58:50Z")
How do I make the little buggers from \*batteries not included kill someone? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/89 "2005-12-16T02:15:03Z")
> [@Love Rhombus](#): > > How do I make the little buggers from \*batteries not included kill someone? Turns out Sarah is a diabetic, she goes into insulin shock from the over sweetness of them? ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/90 "2005-12-16T03:40:41Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > SARAH: [stares at him silently for a moment, picks him up, stuffs him into a wood-chipper] [Marge Gunderson] And I guess that was your accomplice in the woodchipper. [/Marge Gunderson] ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/91 "2005-12-16T07:22:13Z")
I don’t think I’ve seen any anime robots here, yet…what the hell’s the _matter_ with you people? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/92 "2005-12-16T09:10:01Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I don’t think I’ve seen any anime robots here, yet…what the hell’s the _matter_ with you people? 😉 Big O and Dorothy are anime. What’s more anime than a multistory fighting robot/mecha, and an android girl ? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/93 "2005-12-16T11:47:56Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Big O and Dorothy are anime. What’s more anime than a multistory fighting robot/mecha, and an android girl ? My bad. They slipped in under my radar. :smack: But still…no freaky Japanese sexaroids, yet? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/94 "2005-12-16T13:23:41Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > But still…no freaky Japanese sexaroids, yet? 😃 Get a room… **and** a toaster. 😉😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/95 "2005-12-16T16:50:38Z")
Gigantor: I’ll get right on it as soon as I find my control box. Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy, where are you? All right, this isn’t funny. Stop hiding the box. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/96 "2005-12-16T18:47:24Z")
Chi from Chobits: Chi kill Sarah? Chi not do that. Explain “lesbian” to Chi. Star Trek Computer: You will be killed in ten seconds Sarah Connors. Ten…Nine…Eight… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/97 "2005-12-16T18:54:19Z")
> [@vibrotronica](#): > > Slowly, the Roomba approached Sara Conner. Or worse yet, the Woomba! [Metafetish - Woomba: The little robot that cleans your lady parts](http://www.slashdong.org/archives/2005/05/woomba_the_litt.php) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/98 "2005-12-16T19:26:34Z")
The Urkelbot: Hello! Sarah Connor: Please kill me. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/99 "2005-12-17T21:20:13Z")
THE GOLEM OF PRAGUE: Rabbi Leow says I can’t kill you on the Sabbath. Could you wait around until sunset? SARAH CONNOR: [rubs out the word “EMET” written in clay on the Golem’s forehead] GOLEM: Shema Yisroel! Adonai elohenu, adonai . . . [falls down dead] ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623/100 "2005-12-17T22:13:11Z")
What about the Grape Nuts robot (from Strongbad)? Grape Nuts Robot: Kill, your butt. Sarah Connor: What? Strongbad: (from off camera) No, make him say _I’m here to kick your butt!_ Grape Nuts Robot: Kill, a butt. Strongbad: (from off camera) Bubs, I thought you said this thing was going to work. Sarah Connor: You’re cute! You’re a little empty box of cereal. Why don’t you come in for some breakfast? Strongbad: (from off camera) No! Come on, Bubs, use the … _lazor action._ Bubs: (from off camera) What!? I ain’t got no lazor action on that thing. And you promised not to use my name! Strongbad: (from off camera) What the crap? How are we supposed to kick Marzipan in the butt if we don’t have any lazor action? Sarah Connor: Have some skim milk and gummi bears. Grape Nuts: Em Ess Gee’d. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-deadly-sarah-connor-assassination-squad/335623.md?page=4)