# the dearth of knowledge that we are suffering from
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
**Created:** [May 23, 2010, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447 "2010-05-23T10:26:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/61 "2010-06-05T21:32:11Z")
**JJohanPallen** said:
> [@](#):
>
> How is the manner that I am applying English in wrong?.
> Please explain my mistake/mistakes in the manner that I have explained Mr. Cecil Adams’ fabricating of the plural form of the condition death.
Cecil did not fabricate anything, unlike you, who has fabricated the use of “humane” by applying it to _language_ as a synonym for psychology, and also fabricated the word “anim” to mean something that is animated (moving) but less than human (but broader than _animal_).
The word _death_ is singular and uncountable when used as an actor or process:
“Death comes to us all.”
“I was facing a wall of death.”
“That’s death-on-a-stick, mate.”
However, _death_ can also mean a single instance of an individual ceasing life.
“The death of my father…”
“The death of my mother…”
In that context, _death_ can be treated as two separate instances, and thus given the plural, _death **s** _.
“The deaths of my father and mother…”
That sentence might be used when the father and mother died at separate times from separate causes, rather than in one event, such as a car crash.
Other errors with your writing:
“Humane” is not a synonym for _human_.
> [@](#):
>
> **Humane**
> Humane in early use meant civil, courteous or obliging towards humans and animals. In modern times it is characterized by sympathy with or consideration, compassion and benevolence for others, especially for the suffering or distressed.
>
> **Synonyms**
> Some synonyms to help understand the term humane are: benignant, charitable, gentle, kind, merciful, sympathetic and tender.
>
> **Antonyms**
> Some antonyms to help understand the term inhumane are: appalling, atrocious, brutal, callous, cruel, heartless, merciless and sadistic.
> **[Humanity (virtue)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humane)**
>
> Humanity is a virtue linked with altruistic ethics derived from the human condition. It signifies human love and compassion towards each other. Humanity differs from mere justice in that there is a level of altruism towards individuals included in humanity more so than in the fairness found in justice.: 34 That is, humanity, and the acts of love, altruism, and social intelligence are typically individual strengths while fairness is generally expanded to all.\[clarification needed\] Humanity is Th...
There is no use for appending _humane_ to language and using it as a synonym for psychology. You are making that up.
Also, “anim” is not a word. You made it up.
You accuse Cecil of making things up, but you are the one making things up.
> [@](#):
>
> You have stated that “You are obviously not a native speaker of English”.
> To whom is it obvious?.
> Are you willing to bet £100.00 that it is a fact that I am not a native speaker of English?.
If you _are_ a native speaker of English, you need to beat your parents right now. And your teachers. And your neighbors, and anyone who interacted with you from birth to now. Your English is mostly comprehensible, but your grammar is weak and you have numerous sentence construction errors.
> [@](#):
>
> Who is Lena Meyer-Landrut?.
First off, you do not need a period after a question mark. Error on your part.
Second, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena\_Meyer-Landrut](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena_Meyer-Landrut)
She is apparently some sort of German pop star. I have no idea why John picked her as an example except that she is apparently someone in pop culture that you might have some familiarity and is a non-native English speaker. I doubt it has any other bearing on the conversation.
> [@](#):
>
> I am making an attempt to rectify the wrong manner that human forms communicate their humane language(their psycholoigy) in.
>
> [snip]
>
> I am asserting that we must exhibit our humanity in the way that we refer to our human children in.
> I am asserting that our referring to our children as “he, his” or “she, her” is an exhibition of our humane psychology, a code.
> We must exhibit our humane psychology whether we communicate in English or Japanese or French or German.
> Respect for the humanity of our own children is the same whether we express it in English or Japanese or French or German.
>
> How does our exhibiting of our humane psychology in this manner offend you?.
> How does our referring to a human child as he/she offend you?.
> What are you losing?.
Here’s the problem, you are trying to tell us how _you_ think we _should_ speak, but you are claiming it is how English demands that we form the sentence.
You are free to make the case that we should always acknowledge the gender of babies. However, current English usage commonly allows that phrasing, so to tell us we are in error is to be incorrect.
As I said, it is annoying to be lectured on proper English from someone who makes as many errors as you do. Stop It!
---
### Author:  [@bonzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bonzer)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/62 "2010-06-05T22:37:00Z")
> [@Irishman](#):
>
> Second, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena\_Meyer-Landrut](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena_Meyer-Landrut)
>
> She is apparently some sort of German pop star. I have no idea why John picked her as an example except that she is apparently someone in pop culture that you might have some familiarity and is a non-native English speaker. I doubt it has any other bearing on the conversation.
As the Eurovision winner within the last week, she is a somewhat obviously topical example. Not that I’d ever clocked **John** as a Eurovision fan.
---
### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/63 "2010-06-06T02:45:00Z")
> [@Blake](#):
>
> Is it just me, or is reality leaking again? :dubious:
Sounds like we’re caught in the Time Cube.
---
### Author:  [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/64 "2010-06-06T16:34:09Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#):
>
> And assuming that your assumption is correct that **JJohanPallen** is from the Subcontinent, he might consider himself a “native English speaker” since English is spoken and taught from a young age there, but it’s not the same as American English. It does bear some resemblance to British English, but it’s different enough to be unique. (For one example, the use of “homely” in Indian matrimonial ads. In the US, calling a woman homely would not be complimenting her.)
But that is drift by time; in Shakespeare’s day and long after, “homely” had the same meaning as in those ads.
At any rate, all the Indian English that I have ever encountered has been much closer to both standard British and standard American than the quaint idiom that **JJohanPallen** employs. No, my guess, now that I know he doesn’t know the name of Lena Meyer-Landrut, is that he’s from South Africa.
(I’m not a Eurovision fan, but the sudden rise from nowhere of “Lena” has brought her and the Song Contest into US headlines, and I looked at a few clips out of curiosity. In general, Americans know the Contest only as something that, long, long ago, both Monty Python and Benny Hill poked fun at. I picked her specifically because they showed her conversing with a Norwegian princess, using English – I suppose because it was the only language they had in common – and because I thought there was a fair chance that he would know who she was.)
---
### Author:  [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/65 "2010-06-06T18:32:14Z")
> [@John\_W.Kennedy](#):
>
> No, my guess, now that I know he doesn’t know the name of Lena Meyer-Landrut, is that he’s from South Africa.
I didn’t know who she was (until I looked her up just now), and I’ve lived in England my entire life. I saw the Eurovision Song Contest, but I didn’t make a note of her name, and I’ve never seen her interviewed. I don’t think knowledge of her is a particularly good test of UK residency.
---
### Author:  [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/66 "2010-06-07T18:18:08Z")
> [@JJohanPallen](#):
>
> During our post natal life, our mothers suckle us predominantly at her left breast, near her heart.
> [@Irishman](#):
>
> Really, you know this about every woman?
I think he was referring to the models used by Picasso where there can be wide latitude in the placement of the baby during breastfeeding.
---
### Author:  [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/67 "2010-06-07T20:10:48Z")
When did **Bjorn** come back to us?
---
### Author:  [@Staver808](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staver808)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/68 "2010-06-07T20:18:56Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> This thread contains some of the hands-down goofiest material I’ve read in a long time. The OP’s writing sounds like it’s been synthesized by a computer. I keep hearing HAL’s voice in my head when I read it.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one! I kept thinking we were part of a Turing test, but was afraid to mention it. I kept hearing a computer voice in my head as well, although it was the computer from War Games and not HAL. Heh. I kept waiting for the single post from Mr. Pallen saying “Shall we play a game?”
---
### Author:  [@HawksPath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HawksPath)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/69 "2010-06-07T20:53:35Z")
When reading the OP’s writings, why do I keep thinking I am about to get a big money transfer as long as I provide my banking information and passwords?
---
### Author:  [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/70 "2010-06-07T23:13:22Z")
> [@cards](#):
>
> When did **Bjorn** come back to us?
You think he’s Bjorn again?:dubious:
---
### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/71 "2010-06-07T23:35:21Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#):
>
> Well, at any rate, please tell Mr. Malin that I think his bureau is _beau_tiful. 😛
Eye kin cpell wae wurse then thad;)
---
### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/72 "2010-06-07T23:45:04Z")
> [@WotNot](#):
>
> You think he’s Bjorn again?:dubious:
Laugh it up, jokeboy. When the anims come for the humanes, you’ll be suckling out of the other tit.
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/73 "2010-06-08T00:24:28Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> Laugh it up, jokeboy. When the anims come for the humanes, you’ll be suckling out of the other tit.
Truly, a siggy for the ages.
---
### Author:  [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/74 "2010-06-08T01:53:37Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> This thread contains some of the hands-down goofiest material I’ve read in a long time. The OP’s writing sounds like it’s been synthesized by a computer. I keep hearing HAL’s voice in my head when I read it.
When I first glanced at the OP I thought it was a goofy grammar/computer program mash-up…kept looking for the ‘goto’ and ‘end’. 😛
BTW, did anyone else get White Zombie’s _More Human Than Human_ stuck in their head while reading this thread?
---
### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/75 "2010-06-08T01:55:50Z")
The posts speculating on Mr. Pallen’s identity seem to suggest the best place to get success from a Turing test is India.
BTW: The original work didn’t trigger the AI feel in me, I just thought it was some form of poetry that didn’t use the word Nantucket, but the responses did seem mechanical in nature, in more than just the repitition.
---
### Author:  [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/76 "2010-06-08T02:45:45Z")
Actually, he _claims_ to be from the Cocos Islands.
---
### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/77 "2010-06-08T05:02:18Z")
Thanks **Chefguy** for nominating this one for Threadspotting; I might have missed all the fun otherwise!
---
### Author:  [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/78 "2010-06-08T08:28:22Z")
Guys, the answer is clear: Mr. Pallen is, in fact, a robot. Hence the endless fascination with our human language and the visible template in the formatting of his responses. Also, the liberal line breaks and the, shall we say, chatbot grammar are surely explicable with this insight in mind as well; these are the conventions in the robot world.
---
### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/79 "2010-06-08T14:40:35Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#):
>
> Guys, the answer is clear: Mr. Pallen is, in fact, a robot. Hence the endless fascination with our human language and the visible template in the formatting of his responses. Also, the liberal line breaks and the, shall we say, chatbot grammar are surely explicable with this insight in mind as well; these are the conventions in the robot world.
[They’re here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvrva8NoMLM).
---
### Author:  [@JJohanPallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JJohanPallen)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2010, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dearth-of-knowledge-that-we-are-suffering-from/540447/80 "2010-06-09T11:21:07Z")
> [@Irishman](#):
>
> **JJohanPallen** said:
> Humane: you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
>
> Really, you know this about every woman? :dubious:
>
> Language is not always logical. Colloquially plenty of people will use the pronoun “they” for an unspecified single person. This is because English does not have an unspecified gender single pronoun other than “it”, which feels wrong when discussing adults. However, babies are a different class of person. “It” is an acceptable referent when the gender is unknown.
>
> Incorrect.
>
> [Death - definition of death by The Free Dictionary](http://www.thefreedictionary.com/death)
>
> The word can refer to the process (at the end of life comes death) or it can refer to individual instances of the process. In this second use, it is permissible to count instances of deaths.
>
> And I have to say, it’s rather annoying to be lectured about the proper use of the English language from someone who is making up his own rules (humane, anim).
To the Irishman,
You made this statement in your message\_
```
"Humane: you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means".
```
I am asserting that you are a liar.
I am offering you a £100.00 bet that you can never prove your statement true.
Will you accept the bet?.
If you prove your statement true, I will pay £100.00 into your PayPal account within one hour.
J. Johan Pallen.
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