Another childless only child. I’ve already told my parents that if they can find other homes for family heirlooms, do it. I don’t want the picture of the civil war general, and I don’t need another set of silver, etc.
My one set of grandparents had some wealth, which went to my parents. My parents are now spending it, in addition to their own money. At this point there’s no way to know how long they will live. I’ve told them it’s important they spend their money and don’t sit at home in the dark and cold. If there’s something left, so be it.
I already got a college education, part of a wedding (we paid part), plus life skils and good examples from them. Because of that, I have the knowledge and experience to build up my own wealth.
For us? Hubby has a nephew, so he’s the designated heir. Probably should put something in writing in case something happens to him. We will not be spending our money to make sure he has enough as possible. On the other hand, nephew is the fourth generation to live on the same property, and I could imagine my husband might want to do something to help the nephew stay there. Not an issue now, so not worrying about it.
Switzerland has very strict laws about the distribution of inheritance. As we are not Swiss, we can formally reject the Swiss laws and decide how our wealth will be distributed after the last of us passes away.
My other grandparents were farmers and lost everything in the 1980s. They had to sell their house and land, and were fortunate that the buyer allowed them to live in the house until one of them passed away. Fortunately debt is not inherited.
I am interested in the things you learned. I am heiress to a large estate that is divided with my siblings. I’m in poor health and have a lot to learn regarding my own will. I have 3 children and a pseudo daughter. Four grandchildren. A significant “other” and 2 dogs to care for beyond the grave. I have enough to provide for all of them . I am leaving the dogs to a friend and adding a few thousand dollars for their care. I’m leaving a specific amount to my significant others. The majority of the estate will be divided between my 3 grown, educated and financially stable sons. I’ve set up trust funds for my grands, two are 5 years old , one is 3 and the other due next week. The youngest 4 have contingencies. The will only inherit as adults and I’ve specified that the money must be used for educational purposes first. I have requested they do not acquire any body tattoos, no piercings beyond earrings and limited access ( a POA) until they have jobs and can manage their own finances, age 25. I have expectations for my kids that they have met and expectations for the youngest generation. I am a strong and active influence in their lives and are aware that I have great respect for their potential. They know my feelings on the subject to their ability. My children have no issues with my intentions but the daughter in laws, mothers of my grands have varying opinions on the matter. My pseudo daughter is a single parent to my pseudo granddaughter. She is upset and offended by my proposal. I don’t owe her anything and the inheritance is a significant amount. She is very communicative with me and objects to my contingencies. I am leaving my will as is. She and her daughter have a choice. If the POA determines the funds won’t be educational and she chooses body art , she forfeits her inheritance back to my blood relatives. Life is hard and expensive. My desire is to make things easier. I am very comfortable with my requests. Please be kind and respectful but I am interested in an objective view. Am I being reasonable? I was reared with expectations and find that many newer generations find that invasive. Perhaps that is a problem in our society. I believe in God, respect, responsibility and only want the best for my family. I hope the life I lead is an example for them. I am not perfect and have made mistakes but knowing what my parents expected made a great influence on my life. I want to do the same. Thoughts?
None, save to suggest that as you have sufficient means, you would do well to consult with a professional probate and estate law firm. Get their advice and then follow it.
Agree with Aspenglow. The first thing I thought of was, what if more grandchildren are born after the one currently expected? I’m sure any professionally drawn will would consider that.
I think the tattoo / piercing would be quite difficult to enforce. Is it the lawyer or the banker that is going to strip-search them and certify their bodily purity? I think it’s reasonable to request, but I think it’s a little over the top to tie it to the inheritance, and in practical terms impossible to enforce. Depending on your location, it may be legally unenforceable as well as practically so.
The limited access until age 25 is super-reasonable, though.
Long term care is hard to plan for because the average vs median stays are so different. Like with nursing homes, I think the median stay is only 5 months but the average stay is much longer. A 5 month stay at 10k a month is doable, that is about 50k but if you are one of the minority who stay for years on end, its hard to plan for that amount unless you have mid six figures in savings just for LTC.
Personally I think I’ll end up moving to a developing nation where LTC is closer to 1-2k a month (Mexico, Thailand, India) if it gets to that point. I am hoping by the time I’m elderly that there will be some kind of national health insurance that covers LTC, but realistically that probably won’t happen in the next 40 years.
Possibly so. That cite lists an inheritance of over $719k as putting one in the 1% for inheritances (as of 2019). But that doesn’t speak directly to the size of estates, which of course can and most often do have multiple heirs.
I read that the “average” family wealth is around $1 million. That seems high to me and the article even said that the number is highly skewed because of the super wealthy.
It may help to look at how wealth management firms actually categorize their customers. $1 million or less is typically considered “mass affluent”. They don’t consider you “high net worth” until you are worth around $1 to $30 million.
I guess I would question why, after spending a lifetime building wealth, they would decide to let it go to the government, a bank, or some charity to be distributed among strangers who will likely be more screwed up than their own kids.
Most parents presumably have a desire to see their kids become responsible adults who can make their own way in the world. But how do you teach your kids the value of a dollar when they never really needed to worry about money?
I can tell you from personal experience that if your investable assets are below $5M, the only attention you will get from the “wealth management firms” is attempts to chisel away a good chunk of that.
It doesn’t pay to actively manage money for a reasonable fees (say under 1% of assets) until around $10M nowadays. Used to be $5M fifteen years ago, but you know, inflation.
Maybe things are a bit different in Des Moines or Wichita than here in the Northeast or in California (where my experience is) but I doubt it makes that much difference.
Since you asked, I think the piercings and tattoos restriction is a terrible idea. It’s your money and you certainly have every right to put any condition on it that you wish. But in my view, this one is incredibly condescending and rude. Four of my five children have tattoos. They are smart, educated, kind, and funny and I am proud of them beyond measure. They are good parents, and make the world a better place. Part of raising kids, in my opinion, if to allow them the freedom to make their own decisions and allowing the wisdom that comes from learning from mistakes.
You think you know more than they do about life being hard, and tattoos and piercings making it harder. Perhaps you do. But is that really the issue? I’ll always remember someting my father told me once when I was a young adult, “I don’t like what you’re doing, but I’m glad you’re doing what you think is right and not listening to me.”
It’s oft quoted that you cannot expect to manage other’s behaviours from beyond the grave.
I suspect that the “no tattoos or piercings” part of the will would be deemed unenforceable, and thrown out by a court (after your death, of course). As has been pointed out, the inheritors would simply have to show that regular body strip-searches would be invasive and not practical. Societies change. Styles and expectations of personal beauty move on. Toss this part of your will out the window. The rest seems sensible.
At least, put in an exception for medical tattoos. There’s all kinds of treatments where the doctors want permanent location markers for future reference.
I would eliminate the part about body piercings and tattoos. In addition to what has already been mentioned about enforcement and medical tattoos and trying to control behavior from the grave , those grandchildren will have to be told about those restrictions before it is too late for them to follow them. They don’t have to be told right now, but they will have to told before they reach 18. And if you are alive when they find out - you should expect it to affect your relationship with them. Not so much because of the money itself ( there wouldn’t be an issue if you had nothing to leave or if you left it all to your children) but because of the conditions you are putting on it. My mother used to try to do that with my kids , by putting conditions on birthday and Christmas gifts. They didn’t care about her conditions and did what they wanted to but it absolutely affected their relationship. Because in their minds Grandma wasn’t giving them gifts because she loved them or wanted them to be happy - she was only giving them gifts as a way to control them
What do you mean by actively management? I’m between $1 million and $5 million, and we change allocations a couple of times a year, max. I could do more, but I’m pretty happy where I am.
That’s what I meant by “before they reach18” , that it couldn’t wait until the night before their 18 birthday. In addition to what you mentioned, in my state body piecing is legal for an under 18 year old with parental consent - so you might have to tell a 12 year old that’s why you won’t consent to a nose piercing.
