# The Devil Asks: What do you wish for? **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 20, 2021, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024 "2021-01-20T22:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2022, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/181 "2022-12-22T04:56:00Z")
Engineers learn to design electronic vehicles that have longer range. The trade off is removing the AC and heating system as well as all other bells and whistles. I wish for a dessert that tastes great and automatically cleans your teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2022, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/182 "2022-12-22T17:17:52Z")
Crystal Sugar Meth tastes great and automatically cleans your teeth. Unfortunately, it also gets you hopelessly addicted to meth, and causes severe gum disease to where your teeth fall out, and you can no longer eat Crystal Sugar Meth. I wish for a merry Christmas ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2022, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/183 "2022-12-22T17:41:48Z")
You get up on Christmas morning to a joyful house. Vistors arrive and it gets better. The merriment escalates throughout the day and deep into the long night. You wake up around noon on Boxing Day and struggle through the pain to try to forget what went on last night. I wish for a happy new year, much better than the past few have been. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2022, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/184 "2022-12-22T21:34:46Z")
You become happy when all the people who screwed you over in life die on the same day right in front of you. Their families and loved ones see you celebrate their deaths. I wish I had a groove to get back. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2022, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/185 "2022-12-23T02:22:30Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > You become happy when all the people who screwed you over in life die on the same day right in front of you. Their families and loved ones see you celebrate their deaths. So where’s the down side… ? in play: The devil grants you a brand new groove. However, you quickly come to realize that another word for ‘groove’ is ‘rut’. I wish for the power to see how my life would have turned out if I had not let a certain woman slip through my fingers. Not to go back and have a do-over, mind you – just to know what the alternative might have been. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2022, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/186 "2022-12-24T04:55:52Z")
She is with you. She convinces you that you both move to another city together. Months after your there, you are convinced that she wanted to get with a man she once dated. You decide to cheat and she catches you. And you were wrong about her. I wish my daughter would read my mind and by me the gift I really want. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2022, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/187 "2022-12-24T06:29:21Z")
> [@boson](#): > > I wish my daughter would read my mind and by me the gift I really want. Your daughter can read your mind. _All_ of your mind. She is subjected to every thought you ever had, including those impure thoughts you had about her third grade teacher. You get your gift, but she can never look you in the eye again. I wish I could go to bed on time. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2022, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/188 "2022-12-24T16:15:09Z")
OK. The sound of a ticking clock constantly emanates from your mattress all night long, slowly driving you mad. I wish I had a time machine to go back and look at the dinosaurs and pterosaurs with. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/189 "2022-12-30T02:44:38Z")
You are transported back sixty five million years to somewhere near what will one day be Mexico. You can see off in the distance some pterosaurs and a couple of apatosaurus. Also, an unusually large asteroid directly above you. I wish for instant ‘washboard abs’. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/190 "2022-12-30T02:52:51Z")
The fat displaced from your belly moves upwards and gives you prominent man boobs. I wish I could give somebody a dirty look and make them cower in fear. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/191 "2022-12-30T04:14:14Z")
Granted. Your face is all pustules and boils, where some appear to be on the verge of popping on their own. So yeah others are pretty fearful. I wish Donald Trump ended up with Elephant Man’s face. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/192 "2022-12-30T04:32:35Z")
Donald Trump, upon acquiring the Elephant Man’s face in a jar, puts it on display in the Trump museum dedicated to his greatness. His claim that it was really a [CENSORED due to propriety] was eaten up by the MAGA rubes, and his museum actually makes money. I wish the devil would get lost. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/193 "2022-12-30T05:22:46Z")
Lucifer loses his bearings and wanders about for an era and a half. Finally, he stumbles upon your house, where your daughter find herself taken with (and hence by) him. You end up dealing with many little devils. I wish corporations would be held accountable for their misbehaviors. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/194 "2022-12-30T07:17:32Z")
Corporations become accountable. The water is cleaner, the air is cleaner. Corporations stop funding politicians. Politicians have little campaign money and start being honest to attract voters. USA erupts into chaos. I wish I could communicate with spirits in the afterlife. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2022, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/195 "2022-12-30T23:13:44Z")
They only want to talk about bowel movements, for hours at a time. I wish I had a robot monkey butler. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/196 "2022-12-31T01:37:15Z")
For about a month everything is divine-he follows your every command, unquestioningly… Until one evening right after midnight he achieves self-awareness (after watching one too many Lancelot Link videos), promptly goes insane from the revelation of what he really is, and after realizing you made him what he is, kills you in your sleep with a potato peeler. I wish I had a magic French Fry machine. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2022, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/197 "2022-12-31T02:11:34Z")
You get a magic French Fry machine. It is great. You become addicted to what it produces and over the course of a year, the magical French Fries slowly turn you into a giant potato. A gang of hungry Irish people show up, skin you alive with a potato peeler, cook you up and feast on potato salad. I wish people would like me. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2023, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/198 "2023-02-20T19:19:01Z")
You will be captured by cannibals. They will like you, though they’ll find you a bit tough. I wish I wasn’t so distractible. (For example, I sometimes reply to threads without realizing they are zombies). ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2023, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/199 "2023-02-20T19:31:57Z")
Once you’ve been infected by the zombie you raised, you won’t be distractable anymore. You’ll have only one thing on your mind: Braaaains! I wish I had a shotgun to defend myself from zombies. \*thinks a moment\* And requisite ammunition! ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2023, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/200 "2023-02-21T06:05:37Z")
_(There are two good options here, so I’m gonna give you both of them)_ 1. You are given a shotgun and a supply of ammunition. Eventually, however, you run out of ammunition and the zombies get you anyway. 2. You are given a shotgun – and, in a rare display of unusual generosity, the devil also allows you an unlimited supply of ammunition. You are **NOT** , however, given access to gun-cleaning supplies, so eventually the weapon becomes unusable and again, the zombies get you. I wish to know the location where I am fated to die, so that I can avoid it. _ **-“BB”-** _ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024.md?page=11)