# The Devil Asks: What do you wish for? **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 20, 2021, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024 "2021-01-20T22:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2021, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/141 "2021-02-03T18:10:26Z")
A cute kitten appears on your doorstep. This is the cutest kitten you have ever seen. It laps up milk with its cute little tongue. It cuddles up in your lap with a cute purr. The next morning, it has grown to double the size, but still extremely cute. Also, another cute kitten appears on your doorstep. The next day, the original kitten has again doubled in size, and the new kitten has doubled in size, and another cute kitten appears on your doorstep. This pattern continues; you are squished by the cutest most enormous kitten ever within two weeks. Your body is never found. I wish my upstairs hallway would paint itself. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2021, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/142 "2021-02-03T20:57:30Z")
Your upstairs hallway paints itself. With lead-based paint. Sorry about your cancer! I wish I had an extra room in my house. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/143 "2021-02-04T00:12:27Z")
You have an extra room in your house. It is a dunnikin. And it hasn’t been cleaned in years. I wish to be able to best the devil at his own devices. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/144 "2021-02-04T01:38:58Z")
You become as wily, devious, dishonest, and manipulative as the Devil himself. Then you die and are judged by God to be irredeemably evil. You spend eternity in Hell, ruled over by the Devil. I wish I knew what came before the Big Bang. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/145 "2021-02-04T03:24:26Z")
Superman shows up, tosses you in a gunny sack, then orbits Earth counter-clockwise so fast, it turns back time. His intention is to take you back in time to before the Big Bang occurred, but since nothing existed then, you and Superman become nothing. Thanks for dooming Earth to satisfy your curiosity, asshole. I wish I could guess who the current Botticelli mystery guest is correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Enjoy\_Slurm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enjoy_slurm/32/3937_2.png) [@Enjoy\_Slurm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enjoy_Slurm)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/146 "2021-02-05T07:49:41Z")
You correctly guess who the current Botticelli mystery guest is. Which really pisses off Joe who is super competitive. He drives over to your house and murders you. Then steals your dog and treats it better than you ever did. Joe routinely visits your grave so your dog can pee on it. I wish hotdogs tasted like root beer. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/147 "2021-02-05T13:48:16Z")
Hotdogs now taste like root beer, and are available only as a carbonated beverage. Root beer now tastes like hotdogs, and is available only as a long sausage-shaped quasi-meat. In fact, nothing has changed but the terminology. I wish everybody had 18" feet. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2021, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/148 "2021-02-05T15:22:56Z")
Almost everyone is transformed into Bigfoots (bigfeet?). As such, they are forced to wander around Arkansas. @Beckdawrek 's Son Of a Wreck is driven insane by the proof he has long sought. I wish this pandemic was over. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/149 "2021-02-06T03:16:58Z")
This pandemic is over. Then it’s replaced with another pandemic, much more virulent, that wipes out all life on earth, animal, vegetable and others. The planet is now as barren as Mars. I wish I could turn back time. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/150 "2021-02-06T04:41:31Z")
You have the ability to turn back time. You do not, however, have the ability to alter anything, which means that everything that has happened is predestined to happen again. So, depending on how far you turn the clock, enjoy reliving things like WWI, the Great Depression; the rise of Nazism; WWII; the Cold War; the Kennedy assassination; Vietnam and Watergate; the Challenger disaster; 9/11; and the Trump administration a second time… I wish I had the power of persuasion so as to be able to convince anybody to agree with me on anything. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/151 "2021-02-06T22:41:14Z")
> [@Bicycle\_Bill](#): > > I wish I had the power of persuasion so as to be able to convince anybody to agree with me on anything. The Devil tells you that you have that power. He lies. In fact, you now have no power to convince anyone of anything. When you ask the Devil what happened, he insists you do have that power and you just aren’t using it right. I wish jelly donuts wouldn’t squirt down the front of my shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/152 "2021-02-07T04:26:37Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > I wish jelly donuts wouldn’t squirt down the front of my shirt. There is a new fashion mandate to wear shirts backwards, so now jelly donuts squirt down the back of your shirt. I wish my daughter would actually finish a task. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/153 "2021-02-07T10:12:15Z")
Your daughter actually finishes a task. It is the task of leaving you forever and permanently severing any bond with you. I wish dust mites would become extinct. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/154 "2021-02-07T16:22:00Z")
One day, dust mites mysteriously disappear from Earth. Having nothing to survive on, Silverfish soon follow suit. Spiders that live on Silverfish also begin to disappear, leading to the demise of birds, lizards, monkeys and scorpions. Eventually, the whole food chain is disrupted, leading to massive starvation and the deaths of millions of people and animal species, all because you didn’t want to clean your home properly. I wish this stupid tune I heard on a sappy commercial would leave my head. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/155 "2021-02-07T23:07:51Z")
Not to worry. I’ve replaced it with _Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye_. Just the Na Na Na Na part. Over and over and over. Na Na Na Na. I wish for MacDonalds’ food to be actually good for people. ---
**Author:** ![Enjoy\_Slurm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enjoy_slurm/32/3937_2.png) [@Enjoy\_Slurm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enjoy_Slurm)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/156 "2021-02-08T09:10:20Z")
Your wish comes true and MacDonald’s food is now the healthiest food on the planet. Unfortunately McDonald’s food now kills people on sight/smell. I wish Tom Brady will win 8 Superbowls ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/157 "2021-02-08T18:31:48Z")
NOT AN ENTRY Yesterday’s Pearls Before Swine is relevant to this thread: > **[Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 07, 2021 | GoComics.com](https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2021/02/07)** > > February 07, 2021 ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/158 "2021-02-08T23:14:26Z")
Tom Brady does win an eighth Super Bowl; however, he wins it while playing for the London Silly Nannies as this comes after yet another expansion of the NFL to include Canada, Latin America, Europe, and Asia. I wish America would accept the concept of term limits for all political positions. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/159 "2021-02-09T18:46:15Z")
Term limits have been imposed, and position holders are now limited to one term, but the definition of “term” has been changed to mean “lifetime.” I wish I could get Spotify to work on my phone. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024/160 "2021-02-09T23:21:01Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I wish I could get Spotify to work on my phone. Tomorrow Spotify will work perfect on your phone. Spotify will also be purchased by Elon Musk and will only play the same song on all of it’s channels. There Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haa! by Napoleon XIV. I would like a nice sunny 75 degree day this Saturday so I can wash my truck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-devil-asks-what-do-you-wish-for/931024.md?page=9)