# The Diogenes Teleplay **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 13, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241 "2007-11-13T14:55:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/281 "2007-12-06T20:35:46Z")
[QUOTE=cochrane] **lobstermobster,** what can I do except pay you the ultimate accolade? You should write for **MAD** Magazine! [/QUOTE] This is a veiled insult isn’t it? Do they even make that magazine anymore? Did it ever exist? I always think of it as a fictional publication Dennis the Menace would read. [QUOTE=Ravenman] I was hoping for an illustration, maybe involving House and the shark fin hat. **lobstermobster** is such a tease. [/QUOTE] I can’t do everything around here. Writing episodes of House for people who are too busy caring for their children to do it, AND illustrating it? I’ll see what my work load allows and get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/282 "2007-12-07T00:33:15Z")
[QUOTE=lobstermobster] This is a veiled insult isn’t it? Do they even make that magazine anymore? Did it ever exist? I always think of it as a fictional publication Dennis the Menace would read. [/QUOTE] Nope, not at all. Believe me, if anybody here compares your work to anything in MAD Magazine, you should take it as a sincere and honest compliment. It’s still being published and is one of the most popular humor magazines of all time, not only among the general public, but also here among the SD. They’ve also spawned a hugely popular TV show that has often been compared favorably to Saturday Night Live. I’ve always loved their TV show and movie satires and thought your House satire stood up with the best of them. Never mind illustrating it yourself, it’s worthy of illustration by [Mort Drucker](http://www.adriansinnott.com/mortdrucker.html) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/283 "2007-12-07T00:37:43Z")
[QUOTE=lobstermobster] This is a veiled insult isn’t it? Do they even make that magazine anymore? Did it ever exist? I always think of it as a fictional publication Dennis the Menace would read. [/QUOTE] You’re supposed to be at least 13 to post here, kiddo. God, I feel old. ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/284 "2007-12-07T00:39:07Z")
[QUOTE=cochrane] Nope, not at all. Believe me, if anybody here compares your work to anything in MAD Magazine, you should take it as a sincere and honest compliment. It’s still being published and is one of the most popular humor magazines of all time, not only among the general public, but also here among the SD. They’ve also spawned a hugely popular TV show that has often been compared favorably to Saturday Night Live. [/QUOTE] I’m not trying to be rude (and I don’t read MAD) but I had been told that the quality of the magazine had taken a massive nosedive since Back In The Day and maybe **lobstermobster** knows that and is whooshing you? Or not, I don’t know. **lobstermobster** you should write more Funny Generic Episode Of Popular TV Show Scripts. Do CSI next. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/285 "2007-12-07T13:02:54Z")
[QUOTE=nameless] … I had been told that the quality of the magazine had taken a massive nosedive since Back In The Day and maybe **lobstermobster** knows that and is whooshing you? [/QUOTE] Some years ago, Time-Warner bought out _Mad_, and that basically was when the magazine’s quality took a nosedive–although I think it had already fallen into a rut by the mid 70’s. _Mad_’s heyday was the 50s and 60s. Many people–me, for one–think they did their really brilliant stuff when Harvey Kurtzman was at the helm. At its height, _Mad_ was a classic piece of Americana. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/286 "2007-12-07T17:00:57Z")
[QUOTE=cricetus] Judge fast. Read poorly. Forgive reluctantly. That’s the formula for fighting ignorance. No wonder Cecil is ashamed of this ugly bastard child. [/QUOTE] It looks to me like the question raised is whether **cricetus** is genuinely concerned about **Diogenes** and wants to give him a kick in the butt so he can take a shot at his dream; OR he’s just pretending to be concerned as a vehicle for embarrassing **Diogenes**. At this point, I would give **cricetus** the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, I think **Diogenes** deserves to take a little heat regardless of the motivations. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/287 "2007-12-07T19:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=LonesomePolecat] Some years ago, Time-Warner bought out _Mad_, and that basically was when the magazine’s quality took a nosedive–although I think it had already fallen into a rut by the mid 70’s. _Mad_’s heyday was the 50s and 60s. Many people–me, for one–think they did their really brilliant stuff when Harvey Kurtzman was at the helm. At its height, _Mad_ was a classic piece of Americana. [/QUOTE] Some small nitpicks: Harvey Kurtzman left EC publications in 1955 after his demand for 51 per cent ownership in the company was rejected by publisher Bill Gaines. Kurtzman was replaced as editor by Al Feldstein, with Gaines continuing as owner. Feldstein retired in 1984 and was replaced by Nick Meglin and John Ficarra. Meglin retired in 2001 and Ficarra continues to edit MAD today. In the early 60’s, Gaines sold his ownership to Kinney Parking, which later acquired DC Comics and Warner Bros. Time acquired Mad when they merged with Warner Bros. in 1990. Gaines was allowed to run MAD virtually without interference until his death in 1992. It was then that Time-Warner began exerting greater influence over the magazine and turned it over to DC Comics for publishing. Before that, Gaines was allowed to run MAD for 30 years as if he were still the owner with Feldstein serving as editor from the mid 50’s until the mid 80’s. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/288 "2007-12-07T20:49:40Z")
Update. I’m almost done. I have about 3 or 4 scenes left to write. There’s a chance I can have the link posted tonight. I have to work but I might be able to finish it late. I also work all day tomorrow so if I don’t get it up tonight, I’ll get it up tomorrow night for sure. Guaranteed, no more bullshit. I’m right at the end. I only have a couple of hours of work left to do. If I didn’t have to work tonight, I’d have it up by dinnertime. Sophie came out of the surgery fine, by the way. It was very distressing to watch her go under the anesthesia, though. One second, she was yelling her lungs out, the next she was limp. There’s something kind of unnatural about that. I was really stressed out leading up to it. I’m fine now. I worked on my script a lot yesterday and this morning. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/289 "2007-12-07T20:53:53Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Sophie came out of the surgery fine, by the way. [/QUOTE] Great news! > [@](#): > > It was very distressing to watch her go under the anesthesia, though. One second, she was yelling her lungs out, the next she was limp. There’s something kind of unnatural about that. I was really stressed out leading up to it. I don’t have kids, but I can imagine that would be extremely stressful. I wouldn’t be able to wind my watch, much less perform more complicated tasks. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/290 "2007-12-07T21:06:34Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Sophie came out of the surgery fine, by the way. It was very distressing to watch her go under the anesthesia, though. One second, she was yelling her lungs out, the next she was limp. There’s something kind of unnatural about that. I was really stressed out leading up to it. I’m fine now. I worked on my script a lot yesterday and this morning. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. [/QUOTE] I’m so glad everything is OK. ---
**Author:** ![percypercy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@percypercy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percypercy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/291 "2007-12-07T21:17:13Z")
I’ve skipped out of this thread because I’m sure the massive number of surgeries I had as a kid and the resulting comfort level I have with the procedures would bias me. Still I’m glad your daughter is well and I hope you both feel better. -Lil ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/292 "2007-12-07T22:28:21Z")
**lobstermobster** , I know I’m late to the game here, but you’ve won me over now. I commend you. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/293 "2007-12-08T00:00:56Z")
[QUOTE=lobstermobster] Foreman: It’s toxoplasmosis! I’m going to cut his head open and dig around with an ice cream scoop! [/QUOTE] Cat feces always makes for a good story around here. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/294 "2007-12-08T02:29:53Z")
Dio, whatever differences we’ve had in the past, I want you to know I’m sincerely glad to hear that Sophie is over her surgery and doing well. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/295 "2007-12-08T02:59:28Z")
Jesus, it was minor surgery. I can see Dio being worried because it’s his daughter but you don’t all have to come in like a bunch of retards saying thank god she’s safe. We get it, you are fabulous human beings who won’t let a grudge stop you from sending “Get Well” wishes. Especially all you fucks who decided you cared more about **cricetus** ’s nieces than he did. Bunch of self righteous cunts. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/296 "2007-12-08T04:14:25Z")
Wow, there’s so much pointless hostility here. This _thread_ could be a _House_ script. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/297 "2007-12-08T09:34:08Z")
[Link](http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddmd9hxz_0hkhbq3) I’m too tired to proofread right now, but there’s something to finally look at anyway. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/298 "2007-12-08T10:35:01Z")
**Diogenes** , I’ve never watched an episode of _House_, but that seemed pretty good to me. It was ridiculous, of course, but that’s what writers of prime-time TV go for anyway; I’ve seen _CSI_ or one of its spinoffs a couple of times. Oh, and this was funny: “HOUSE: Yes! I birdied the first hole. All those mulligans really paid off.” Good job, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/299 "2007-12-08T11:12:52Z")
🆒 So when do you start shooting? ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/300 "2007-12-08T12:34:19Z")
I’ve only just started, but so far I’d give you an Emmy nomination just for coining the word “JILF.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241.md?page=16)