# The Diogenes Teleplay **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 13, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241 "2007-11-13T14:55:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/61 "2007-11-13T21:38:14Z")
Well, in that case, **cricetus** you put this thread in the wrong forum. (Given that a not insigificant amount of the hostility you sense towards **Diogenes** is caused by his attitude in countless other threads, posting it in MPSIMS might not have been a kindness to the Moderators.) But still, I’m not sure why you expected a response which encourages the guy from the folks in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/62 "2007-11-13T21:40:23Z")
I assumed, not without historical reference, that anything regarding Diogenes would be destined for the Pit. I would be perfectly happy with a move, though, should any mod find a more appropriate forum. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/63 "2007-11-13T21:47:57Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] But…what song should we use for the closing credits? [/QUOTE] Considering it’s **Dio** it will probably be either [Tina Turner](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tina+turner/the+best_20137668.html) or [Mac Davis.](http://www.poemhunter.com/song/oh-lord-it-s-hard-to-be-humble/) I think that in order for this to be a fair analysis of the end product that the script should be posted online alongside a fanfic script as well as a real script (or a transcript) from the show. Credits will be given on the site so the authors are recognized but the names will not be listed on the actual script. Only **cricetus** and **Elenfair** will know which script is which. Afterwards we can come back to this thread with our critiques on each script. Final vote will determine the best script. Then **cricetus** and **Elenfair** will tell us how **Dio** did. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/64 "2007-11-13T21:52:17Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I think “\*\*Dio’\*\*s fragile ego” should be able to survive nuking from orbit. There’s no way to be sure. [/QUOTE] Heh, more like when they nuke the Martians in _Mars Attacks!_ and the Martians suck the blast up in a squeeze bulb and get high off it. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/65 "2007-11-13T22:17:14Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] Heh, more like when they nuke the Martians in _Mars Attacks!_ and the Martians suck the blast up in a squeeze bulb and get high off it. [/QUOTE] Now THAT’S writing! ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/66 "2007-11-13T22:29:37Z")
I didn’t want to post in that original thread, but Dio, why House? All that medical crap must be written in consultation with medical experts, right? It seems like an unfair standard to set for yourself, and might hang you up in the writing process, as it calls for expertise beyond even what a regular doctor would have. Though, maybe you have medical expertise I don’t know about-- I don’t follow your work. To his critics-- how harshly are you going to judge Dio on the medical stuff? I’d hate for that to be the downfall of this project. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/67 "2007-11-13T23:21:25Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I didn’t want to post in that original thread, but Dio, why House? All that medical crap must be written in consultation with medical experts, right? It seems like an unfair standard to set for yourself, and might hang you up in the writing process, as it calls for expertise beyond even what a regular doctor would have. Though, maybe you have medical expertise I don’t know about-- I don’t follow your work. To his critics-- how harshly are you going to judge Dio on the medical stuff? I’d hate for that to be the downfall of this project. [/QUOTE] I suggested House only because it was one of only a few scripted shows that I’m familiar with. Aside from cartoons like South park and Family Guy, the only scripted shows I watch are the the thursday sitcoms (Earl, the Office, 40 Rock). I’m not quite reckless enough to try to write comedy on my first try – at least not to try to tailor it to shows with such established and distinct voices. I didn’t think about the technical research that House wold require until after I was already on the hook for it. Still, I don’t know what else I could have picked. it’s the only scripted drama I watch these days. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/68 "2007-11-13T23:28:57Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] I didn’t think about the technical research that House wold require until after I was already on the hook for it. Still, I don’t know what else I could have picked. it’s the only scripted drama I watch these days. [/QUOTE] Well, maybe someone from here will decide to help you with that aspect of things. I don’t think it’s fair if you get a lot of shit for not getting technical medical details correct without any help. I for one hope you succeed, but I have to tell you, as someone who tried to write a novel and died on the details-- that’s what’s going to be tough, moving the plot along without the expertise in medicine. Hmmm. You know what? You should do the show where the patient finally actually has lupus. That would fucking slay me. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/69 "2007-11-13T23:35:52Z")
A Doper episode of _House_? A mod would come in and close it down before the first commercial because someone asks for medical advice. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/70 "2007-11-13T23:39:53Z")
[QUOTE=Loach] A Doper episode of _House_? A mod would come in and close it down before the first commercial because someone asks for medical advice. [/QUOTE] Well, the advice would be wrong for the first 50 posts, and then it would come down to a heads-or-tails choice. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/71 "2007-11-13T23:42:42Z")
Yeah, I thought that Dio would probably run into a wall with the medical stuff. He might be able to use WebMD, since it lets you start with symtoms and then gives you several possible diagnoses. I think the actual show is pretty suspect on its medical fealty, anyway, and I’m willing to give considerable slack on that. Of course, I never voted for critiquing the ms. at all. It would be sufficient to me that he just finishes what he set out to do. I’ve always wanted Stephen Fry to do an episode of House. I would cast him as a gay poetry professor who collapses at the podium and for most of the episode he’s quoting various poets while House rolls his eyes. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/72 "2007-11-13T23:51:24Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Well, the advice would be wrong for the first 50 posts, and then it would come down to a heads-or-tails choice. [/QUOTE] It’s Lupus!! Please ignore the original thread where Dio already dealt with that joke. It was too good to pass up. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/73 "2007-11-13T23:57:36Z")
If I were to right a _House_ episode it would be about House as a very young boy growing up a hardscrabble life in the coutryside of Minnesota. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/74 "2007-11-14T00:00:23Z")
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus] If I were to \*\*right \*\*a _House_ episode it would be about House as a very young boy growing up a hardscrabble life in the **coutryside** of Minnesota. [/QUOTE] Lemme guess: part of the plot would be, since none of the schools had English classes there, it made it especially hard to qualify for med school? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/75 "2007-11-14T00:03:32Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Lemme guess: part of the plot would be, since none of the schools had English classes there, it made it especially hard to qualify for med school? 😃 [/QUOTE] Now THAT’S writing! ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/76 "2007-11-14T00:06:41Z")
[QUOTE=cricetus] Yeah, I thought that Dio would probably run into a wall with the medical stuff. [/QUOTE] Don’t the writers on Star Trek and similar shows just insert [technobabble] into their scripts until a science geek comes along to fill it in? **Dio** should be able to get away with [medical mumbo-jumbo here] shouldn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/77 "2007-11-14T00:55:49Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] Don’t the writers on Star Trek and similar shows just insert [technobabble] into their scripts until a science geek comes along to fill it in? **Dio** should be able to get away with [medical mumbo-jumbo here] shouldn’t he? [/QUOTE] As if House is anything close to accurate when it comes to medical terms and technology. That’s the lease of his problems. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/78 "2007-11-14T01:18:28Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] Don’t the writers on Star Trek and similar shows just insert [technobabble] into their scripts until a science geek comes along to fill it in? **Dio** should be able to get away with [medical mumbo-jumbo here] shouldn’t he? [/QUOTE] House: His rash was caused by a spacial anomaly. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/79 "2007-11-14T01:35:13Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] Don’t the writers on Star Trek and similar shows just insert [technobabble] into their scripts until a science geek comes along to fill it in? **Dio** should be able to get away with [medical mumbo-jumbo here] shouldn’t he? [/QUOTE] I dunno, in House, it does form important parts of the plot-- what the PotW has is central to what House does. I don’t think you can just leave it blank. He can probably do some web research and get something going. I wonder how the writers of the show come up with their ideas? Do they start with ideas about what they want the main characters to get out of the interactions, then fill in the medical stuff, or what? As for judging, maybe regular fans of the show who aren’t screenwriters but who are relatively intelligent should also judge it. I watch a shitload of TV and I think I’m a pretty good judge of what’s good and what isn’t. Why not open the “judging” to anyone who is a regular House watcher as well as the so-called “experts” on screen writing? Much more likely to get a fair spectrum of opinions that way, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241/80 "2007-11-14T01:56:50Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Almost everybody in the thread was jumping on the “you can’t possibly do it” train, but we’ll see. [/QUOTE] Not true. People were saying that **Diogenes** was vastly underestimating the difficulty of the task. They were also chiding him for his boast, especially since it later became clear that he knew virtually nothing about the industry. Several people said that, in light of this information, they’d be surprised if the script was up to snuff. That strikes me as an entirely reasonable evaluation. I don’t recall a single person saying that **Dio** couldn’t possibly do it – merely that the evidence suggested that it was highly unlikely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-diogenes-teleplay/426241.md?page=5)