# The DirecTV marionette commercials are creeping me out **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2014, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620 "2014-05-30T05:38:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/21 "2014-05-30T19:46:13Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Wait, you’re saying there are Quiznos ads that are creepier than [this one?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PdsS01iUZs) I loved the spong monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/22 "2014-05-30T20:04:34Z")
Me too, the ads actually made me try Quiznos, but it turns out Quiznos sucks. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/23 "2014-05-30T20:04:48Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Marionettes are second only to clowns in creeping me right the hell out. So, yeah, I have to fight off an urge to run from the room when those things are on. Good grief - I’ve not seen these before (No TV) but I watched the latest one and I vote creepy as fuck. I have never had, or wanted, DirectTV but they’ve already irritated me by sending me about 800 solicitations by mail, per week. No freaking way would I buy that service - certainly not on the basis of their TV ads. \ ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/24 "2014-05-31T00:31:42Z")
Team America doesn’t hit Uncanny Valley for me. These commercials do. The fact that the guy seems to actually like it makes it worse. Let him wince once, please. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/25 "2014-05-31T02:32:20Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > Team America doesn’t hit Uncanny Valley for me. These commercials do. The fact that the guy seems to actually like it makes it worse. Let him wince once, please. The Team America marionettes clearly weren’t life-size like the ones in the Direct TV ads and that kept them out on the Uncanny Valley. Like **dracoi** said in an earlier post, the joke was mildly amusing in first ad, already strained by the second ad, and pounded into the ground by the third. If there’s one good thing about the last one, I really can’t think of where they can go next. Are we going to meet the guy’s marionette in-laws? (Oh, shit. I hope I didn’t give some advertising hack any ideas.) ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/26 "2014-05-31T03:00:58Z")
Marionette wife stripping for sex is beyond creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/27 "2014-05-31T03:07:26Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > and pounded into the ground by the third. _Somebody_ (or some_thing_) was going to get pounded at the end of that commercial! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/28 "2014-05-31T03:21:40Z")
“That’s . . . jaaazzzyy” Yeah, that’s right up there with “Theeeeyyyyy’re heeeere!” and “Heeere’s Johnny!” on the creepiness scale. I’m fine until the way he says that, then I get nauseated. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/29 "2014-05-31T15:36:55Z")
You haven’t really plumbed the depths of creepiness in the latest commercial (wife doing strip tease) until you consider that all marionettes are being controlled by some exterior manipulator who is _watching_. So either the marionettes are aware but are being controlled or the guy is doing the equivalent of boinking the equivalent of a real doll avatar of, I dunno, aliens. You have to wonder what he sees when he looks up at the source of her wires. No matter how you think of it, humping a marionette is practically redefining the term “kinky”. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/30 "2014-05-31T20:27:44Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > So stupid! Marionettes have STRINGS, not WIRES! Urgh! This is what bothers me, too. The wife and son don’t creep me out; what creeps me out is the writers who apparently said to themselves _'hey, some people talk about Puppet on a Wire, right? it’s not always ‘on a string,’ right? and some people remember Pinocchio singing ‘There Are No Wires On Me,’ right?_’ Urgh, indeed. It bothers me the way the Bing ads used to. (I mean the long-running campaign in which people went all robotic–because we all know that the real problem with _other_ search engines is that they make people in your life into robots, right? right?:dubious:) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/31 "2014-05-31T20:48:28Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Are we going to meet the guy’s marionette in-laws?[/SIZE] Please let her be adopted. Actually, if they had Italian accents, it would be pretty funny. > [@araminty](#): > > So stupid! Marionettes have STRINGS, not WIRES! Urgh! This, too. Although, muppets have wires, and they’ve had pig-on-frog action. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/32 "2014-06-01T01:08:58Z")
[Here’s Adweek’s review of the DirecTV’s marionette commercials](http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/marionette-wives-feel-pretty-insecure-age-wireless-directv-157039). In addition to findling them unsettling, the review mentions the ads’ sexist implications. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/33 "2014-06-01T03:38:01Z")
I’d like to know where the lying assholes that made those commercials got their TV’s that don’t even need a power cord. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/34 "2014-06-01T04:28:15Z")
I learned the power cord lesson the hard way. I installed the wall bracket for a LCD tv in our bedroom. Outlet was conveniently just below the tv. Didn’t work out very well. My wife and I hated seeing the two electrical cords and we would brush up against it getting into bed. Finally had an electrician install a outlet directly behind the tv. (he just tapped into the other outlet). No more dangling cords. I’ve never had any problems with the DirecTV wires. The box sits beside the tv. Wires come out from behind the satellite box to the tv. They aren’t all that visible. Wireless DirecTV isn’t needed at my house. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/35 "2014-06-01T06:33:52Z")
The more I think about it, one with the in-laws would be a great SNL skit. They’d have really phony Italian accents, and say “We thought-a she’d-a be a real-a girl by now, but she’s-a not been so good.” Then the UPS guy would stop by, and he’d be a marionette too. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/36 "2014-06-02T11:15:15Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Oh, come on! _Thunderbirds_ was great! But then, nobody ever boffed Lady Penelope. Now who’s being naive? Parker was a sub out of the bedroom, but inside…? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/37 "2014-06-02T11:50:30Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Oh, come on! _Thunderbirds_ was great! But then, nobody ever boffed Lady Penelope. Hey, just for the record, it was that purring voice that did it for me, not that wooden _thing_ with the strings going every which way. Anyway, much as I liked _Thunderbirds_ there were a number of things I had problems with. The misproportioned heads. That whole “floating hands” thing. But most of all, from the age of 10 to 14 or so, I had an undeniable but rather unfortunate resemblance to Brains. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/38 "2014-06-02T17:52:12Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > I’m guessing there already is, given that Rule 34 art has been around for a couple months. I found some this weekend because I was…curious. Not cool. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/39 "2014-06-08T02:11:31Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Are we going to meet the guy’s marionette in-laws? Yes, I just saw one with the marionette father-in-law trying to fight the husband. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2014, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620/40 "2014-06-08T08:41:56Z")
Did he have an Italian accent? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-directv-marionette-commercials-are-creeping-me-out/689620.md?page=3)