The DirecTV marionette commercials are creeping me out

No, he kind of sounds like Robert Stack.

Nah, nothing creepy about that.

“Tickles!”

As creepy as the whole sex-with-a-puppet thing is, I have way more problems with the idea of her giving birth. I just picture some weird newborn coming out tangled in a wet mess of string. Humans have enough trouble coming with one “wire” attached, can you imagine five or six?
Where did all those strings come from? Where are they now and how did they get to there?

and who/what is controlling them?

and why isn’t he the weird one without them? shouldn’t he be the one fighting for acceptance?

And this is the problem with running a joke into the ground. The first one, ok ha-ha, she has wires but the guy doesn’t like wires on his TV and look she can’t pour lemonade. Little physical comedy in there. Questioning it can be fairly answered with “Hey, it’s just a sight gag.”

But then they introduce the idea that they have a child. Then we start getting introduced to their marital insecurities. So at some point, it’s fair to start wondering “Wait, what about the wires and fact that she’s a puppet…?”

There’s a marionette movie called Strings, where having strings attached to one’s limbs is everyday life. The strings extend endlessly into the sky overhead, and there are no ceilings.

To get a string cut is as bad as amputation. The stringless limb just hangs there, useless. The upper classes have access to an imprisoned stash of donors if they lose body parts in this manner. A matching limb is cut off from one of the prisoners and reattached to the amputee.

I think in such a society if somebody got caught in a ceiling fan, it would be considered a tragic loss for all time, not “awesome.” Gotta give credit to whoever sold this macabre idea to DirecTV.

I think it’s pretty sadistic that a guy married to a marionette, with a marionette child, has a ceiling fan in the first place. Not everyone has ceiling fans-- they’re not a necessary thing, like having light fixtures, or a stove.

There is the one saving grace that it probably makes some feminists apoplectic. You know there’s a % of the audience that says “Of COURSE his wife is restrained by strings but he isn’t… yet the only thing she’s worried about is her appearance…”