# The discourse here is bad for my mental and physical health, and yours, too. Prove me wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2024, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714 "2024-05-17T19:13:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2024, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/101 "2024-05-21T23:16:34Z")
There’s also a whole category of “tired topics,” which no one is allowed to debate anymore, such as 9/11 truther conspiracies, or Holocaust denial. But those aren’t aimed at any specific poster. ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2024, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/102 "2024-05-21T23:22:00Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Venting _feels_ fantastic. In this context it also increases identification with a tribe, thus enhancing your sense of security. …and then I discovered that “positive venting” also feels fantastic, and the reactions are so much easier to survive. [Some might call it preaching, but that’s a loaded term] Even in our worst moments, we have it better than most any other time in history: perhaps not strictly true, but WANTING it to be true is a large part of making it happen. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2024, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/103 "2024-05-21T23:41:50Z")
IIRC, HandsomeHarry was banned for hinting at Holocaust denial but refusing to engage on it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/104 "2024-05-22T00:27:01Z")
Not quite - he self-identified as a Nazi, called people idiots for assuming he meant Nazi in the historical sense, but refused to elaborate on what he thought Nazis actually stood for. He was banned for trolling as a result - the mod view was he might or might not be sincere about identifying as a Nazi, but either way his behavior was clearly calculated to stir up outrage and nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/105 "2024-05-22T04:04:51Z")
oh nevermind ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/106 "2024-05-22T07:16:09Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > However, being an obnoxious tool will signal to your in-group that you possess sufficient zealotry and are a true-believer. Again, if that’s what you value you do you. If you want to change minds, you will need to build rapport with others instead of reinforcing tribe standing by seeking the approval of the most vociferous of your side’s radicals. Hmm, now if you were only self aware enough to realize that the person you’re describing is . . . YOU! ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/107 "2024-05-22T16:38:17Z")
Yeah, because the SDMB is my tribe. 😂 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/108 "2024-05-22T16:41:50Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Again, if that’s what you value you do you. If you want to change minds, you will need to build rapport with others Honest question: is that what you’re trying to do here? If not, what are you trying to do here? ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/109 "2024-05-22T17:02:50Z")
In the Pit or in general? We need to consider the audience and general environment when communicating correct? I started my posting here very much cordial and was attacked as I explained above. My first posts were actually about the necessity to have empathy, in essence, with those you want to convince. I was pitted. As I wrote, said pitting was counterproductive because personal attacks are not going to be rewarded, by me at least, with any attempt to conform or change my point of view. I will call out said personal attacks for what they are. An obvious ploy to enforce in-group thinking by the manipulation of emotions. Now, all that said, regardless of my history with any particular poster on this board I will respond in the tone that said poster addresses me. So how has that building rapport? Well, my initial attempts failed. But, look at this thread here, my posts are part of the discussion and aside from a few barbs it’s been relatively cordial even in the pit. If I were seeking to not build rapport, with the rules of the Pit, that would be quite easy. I could barge into every pit thread calling random people trolls, trocks, socks, racists, Nazi’s, and posting not so tasty recipes but that’s just childish and, frankly, mentally not well. So, there are many people on this board that I like some that I don’t. But I will be polite with anyone who is polite with me. Which I consider quite fair. I just realized I didn’t quite answer your question. My real purpose, as I have said before in pit threads of all things, is that I enjoy talking with people who hold different opinions than myself because I find one learns more from exposure to a vast array of opinions, even unsavory ones, than by surrounding oneself with folks you already agree with. I have actually had my mind changed on several subjects either by lurking or due to interactions with people here. I find value in that even if the process isn’t as smooth as it could be in a slightly more restrained environment. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/110 "2024-05-22T17:16:01Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > I will call out said personal attacks for what they are. An obvious ploy to enforce in-group thinking by the manipulation of emotions. Not everything is a conspiracy or has some ulterior motive. Sometimes people call someone a piece of shit because they think that person is a piece of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/111 "2024-05-22T17:16:34Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > _nothing on the Dope matters_. And that is the whole of it. A thing the Dope has taught me is that I can now say, after these many years, “This is going nowhere good for me,” and (hopefully politely) bag it up right there. Disengage. Not saying I always do this, but more often than not, I do. I no longer feel that my point must be understood and acknowledged before I can rest. I can just drop it, not just by ceasing to respond, but in my mind. This is a widely applicable lesson, so thanks, Dope. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/112 "2024-05-22T17:18:50Z")
People are free to do that of course. Just don’t act surprised when it is unproductive aside from scoring a few tribe points. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/113 "2024-05-22T17:19:35Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > In the Pit or in general? Either. I’m not convinced that your answer addressed the question. For what it’s worth, overwhelmingly I see you breaking any rapport you might build. You very often start with insults about “hive-minds” and the like. Do you think that if you don’t name specific posters, it doesn’t count as being impolite to them? In terms of people who destroy any chance at having rapport with people on the board, I’d put you in the top five. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/114 "2024-05-22T17:21:59Z")
Has anyone ever acted surprised that a vulgar insult was “unproductive”? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/115 "2024-05-22T17:24:08Z")
Wait, you mean calling someone a fuckwit is not productive? Dammit, why wasn’t I informed before now. ETA: Apparently a term I have not typed here since 2007. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/116 "2024-05-22T17:31:26Z")
I’d say yeah. Because people do use them as a form of manipulation and are surprised when said manipulation does not have the intended result. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/117 "2024-05-22T17:37:12Z")
Are you sure you’re not reading something into these posts that’s not there? I think that’s what you’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/118 "2024-05-22T17:42:24Z")
No, I’m pretty sure it’s in-group virtue signaling. It’s a mark of insecurity but some people need that social approval. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/119 "2024-05-22T17:45:19Z")
I think maybe it’s easier to presume that people who are being vulgar and insulting towards you are doing so out of insecurity than that they might have a point. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714/120 "2024-05-22T17:45:22Z")
> [@](#): > > No, I’m pretty sure it’s in-group virtue signaling. It’s a mark of insecurity but some people need that social approval What makes you think it’s not mere sincerity? (If it _were_ mere sincerity, how would it look any different?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-discourse-here-is-bad-for-my-mental-and-physical-health-and-yours-too-prove-me-wrong/1001714.md?page=7)