# The Doctor is IN.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-doctor-is-in/67299>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 2, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-doctor-is-in/67299 "2001-06-02T05:08:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-doctor-is-in/67299/41 "2001-06-05T01:39:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Monstre \*  
> Symptoms:
> 
> 1. Nose hives
> 2. A third arm
> 3. Webbed feet

You are a mutated Atlantean with an allergy to air. Go back to Tritonis and get plenty of rest.

Symptoms:

1. Loss of sex drive
2. Greenish tongue
3. Inability to count without inserting “pi” between 3 & 4  
pi) Elongation of penis and/or clitoris
4. Auditory hallucination: clicking noises

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