# ''The Dog Ate My bin Laden'' **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475 "2001-09-24T12:49:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/1 "2001-09-24T12:49:53Z")
I swear, Mr. Bush. I had my bin Laden on the kitchen table, all ready to go, my mom had checked it and she said it looked good. I left it on the table because I knew that it was important for us to bring in our bin Laden today, because you told us that yesterday. But when I got downstairs this morning, the bin Laden was _gone_ and my dog looked really guilty. And the bus was coming so I didn’t have time to look for it. I’m so sorry, it will never happen again. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/2 "2001-09-24T13:51:37Z")
Maybe my cheese slipped off the cracker, but: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/3 "2001-09-24T13:53:40Z")
I’m pretty sure that this was **stolichnaya** ’s sarcastic take on how the Taliban has reacted to the US demands to turn over Bin Laden… Am I right?😕 ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/4 "2001-09-24T14:01:16Z")
Actually, I would think that this is **stolichnaya’s** sarcastic take on the Taliban’s new claim that bin Laden is now missing. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/5 "2001-09-24T14:06:47Z")
And I think it’s hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/6 "2001-09-24T14:10:06Z")
This is why I always keep a spare in my Hide-a-Bin, underneath my front fender. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/7 "2001-09-24T14:17:49Z")
[Here](http://www.nydailynews.com/2001-09-24/News_and_Views/Beyond_the_City/a-126218.asp) you go. I always look behind my sofa cushions first, then under the radiator and as a last resort, inside my slippers. Sometimes the ferrets hide things in there. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/8 "2001-09-24T14:25:07Z")
OKay…I had Osama when I went to the store, and I remember seeing him there by the lamp after I got back, so I didn’t leave him at the store. Did I check the bathroom? I don’t know why I’d take him in there, but maybe I did. No, not here. Wait, what jacket was I wearing? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/9 "2001-09-24T14:32:19Z")
Well, even though I knew this was probably going to be a news website when I clicked on the link, still, when I glanced at the headline and lead– > [@](#): > > \*\*Taliban Say They Can’t Find Osama \*\* > > Afghanistan’s ruling Taliban militia announced yesterday it had lost terror kingpin Osama Bin Laden, but U.S. officials brushed off the claim as a desperate bid to avoid a coming U.S. strike. > > “They know where he is,” said Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. “It is just not believable.” –I had the distinct impression that I’d stumbled into The Onion by mistake. Or into the “WTC possible Onion headlines” thread. That is fuck-ing funny, dudes. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/10 "2001-09-24T14:45:19Z")
[Déjà vu?](http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/meast/9902/13/afghan.binladen.02/) > [@](#): > > _From CNN 7/14/99[sub]well paraphrased[/sub] :_ “We found soiled Victoria’s Secret catalogs hidden between his mattress and boxspring last Tuesday and he was sent to bed without his challow. He had already lost his cell phone and television privileges as well as being grounded for a week,” Said a high ranking Taliban Spokesman. “When we called him down for breakfast in the morning, he was gone.” > > bin Laden was last seen in the Kabul area sporting a beard longer than a clenched fist and carrying a Russian made AK47. Distraught, the Taliban has offered $50 for his safe return. “He’s run away before, but never for this long. If some family has taken him in, we just ask that they return him and no questions will be asked.” ---
**Author:** ![Damhna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Damhna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damhna)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/11 "2001-09-24T14:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cheezit \* > \*\*Maybe my cheese slipped off the cracker, but: > > 😕 \*\* g’dammit!!! Name the movie ! Name the movie or I’m going to have a fit here. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/12 "2001-09-24T14:49:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*–I had the distinct impression that I’d stumbled into The Onion by mistake. Or into the “WTC possible Onion headlines” thread. > > That is fuck-ing funny, dudes. \*\* Hell, you just almost killed me. Death of office worker caused by aspirating banana. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/13 "2001-09-24T14:51:11Z")
Five will get you ten that we should pay a little special attention to anyone answering phones over at Taliban HQ wearing Groucho glasses. “Osama _who_?” ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/14 "2001-09-24T14:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*OKay…I had Osama when I went to the store, and I remember seeing him there by the lamp after I got back, so I didn’t leave him at the store. Did I check the bathroom? I don’t know why I’d take him in there, but maybe I did. No, not here. Wait, what jacket was I wearing? \*\* Perhaps you left him in your other pants. Check carefully, you don’t want him going through the laundry. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/15 "2001-09-24T14:56:37Z")
Just dandy, stolichnaya! “Well, Osama told us he was just running down to the 7-Eleven for a Big Gulp, but he didn’t say when he’d be back…dude, we’re totally good for it, man, as soon as he gets back he’s all yours” ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/16 "2001-09-24T15:00:40Z")
Here’s the thing. I met Osama at a strip club last night where he was strictly observing Islamic law with a Gin Rickey. And in the interest of national security (and with a hope of shaking hands with Gehard Schroeder one day), I started innocently flirting with him, telling him how hot I thought the Anthrax crop dusting plan was…and I asked him for his phone number. He stuttered a little bit, got a napkin and wrote his number down, and told me to meet him outside by his car. He said he’d be RIGHT THERE. He promised. He promised to buy me breakfast and everything. But he never showed. I waited until like 2:30. stupid terrorists. They never call. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/17 "2001-09-24T15:00:43Z")
_sniff_ I love you guys. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/18 "2001-09-24T15:02:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Damhna \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by cheezit \* > > \*\*Maybe my cheese slipped off the cracker, but: > > > > 😕 \*\* > > Name the movie ! > Name the movie or I’m going to have a fit here. \*\* That was from **The Green Mile** ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/19 "2001-09-24T16:16:39Z")
> [@](#): > > originally by Delphica > Five will get you ten that we should pay a little special attention to anyone answering phones over at Taliban HQ wearing Groucho glasses. I shot Osama bin Laden in my pajamas the other day. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475/20 "2001-09-24T16:49:52Z")
Think hard. Where did you have your bin Laden last? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dog-ate-my-bin-laden/83475.md?page=2)