# The Double Entendre Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323 "2002-04-29T17:15:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/21 "2002-04-30T01:25:45Z")
Is that why you’re at full salute? * * * “Riddle does sound like Percy–who asked him to squeal on Hagrid, anyway?” -J.K. Rowling (you got an easy one, sheesh) ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/22 "2002-04-30T03:36:35Z")
The squeal was Percy’s deliverance. * * * Concrete walls and Iron bars do not a prison make. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/23 "2002-04-30T03:49:10Z")
Neither do handcuffs or rough sex but if you’re into that kinda thing here’s my number. My cat’s breath smells like catfood. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/24 "2002-04-30T03:54:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\*Neither do handcuffs or rough sex but if you’re into that kinda thing here’s my number. > > My cat’s breath smells like catfood. \*\* But how does your pussy taste? Next: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready… stv ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/25 "2002-04-30T04:19:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stv \* > \*\*But how does your pussy taste? > \*\* BEST POSSIBLE COMEBACK. Carry on, I’m too busy laughing to think. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/26 "2002-04-30T04:42:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stv \* > One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready… And four to GROW! So, how do you think Bush is doing handling the Palestinian/Israeli crisis? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/27 "2002-04-30T04:52:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > \*\* > So, how do you think Bush is doing handling the Palestinian/Israeli crisis? \*\* The real question is how’s your bush handling this crisis? Next: The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. (Milton, _Paradise Lost_ Book I) stv ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/28 "2002-04-30T05:12:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stv \* > The mind is its own place, and in itself > Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. > (Milton, _Paradise Lost_ Book I) That’s a helluva mind you have there. Want to know my definition of heaven? “A woman needs four animals in her life. A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and an ass to pay for it all.” -Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/29 "2002-04-30T05:17:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > \*\* > > “A woman needs four animals in her life. A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and an ass to pay for it all.” > -Zsa Zsa Gabor \*\* A man needs four animals, too: some bucks in his wallet, wild turkey on the shelf, a big cock in his pants and a little pussy in hers. Next: There’s a rock in my shoe. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/30 "2002-04-30T05:51:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stv \* > \*\*There’s a rock in my shoe. \*\* Well, that rock isn’t as hard as I’m gonna get for you, sweetheart! Next: I like eating spicy food and pickles. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/31 "2002-04-30T05:53:51Z")
Sorry bout that, my pickle only comes salty. I’ve lost the remote control again. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/32 "2002-04-30T11:14:03Z")
You can push my buttons instead. Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/33 "2002-04-30T11:19:58Z")
I always like it when Santa comes down my chimney clutching his bulging sack. Meanwhile I lie in bed, listening for the sound of feet crunching in the snow. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/34 "2002-04-30T13:10:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Meanwhile I lie in bed, listening for the sound of feet crunching in the snow. \*\* Do you always lie when you’re in bed? Next: I’m in the mood for Mexican. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/35 "2002-04-30T13:34:57Z")
Taste the giant burrito in my pants! Next: I am not a number, I am a free man! ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/36 "2002-04-30T14:04:36Z")
If you’re an easy man as well, I’m afraid you’ll have to take a number. Next: I seem to have mislaid my car keys. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/37 "2002-04-30T14:11:47Z")
Why don’t you check in my pocket? I’m sure you’ll find the right key. Next: String, or nothing! ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/38 "2002-04-30T14:19:11Z")
If that’s all you have to offer, then we have nothing to talk about. Next: We had to destroy the village in order to save it. ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/39 "2002-04-30T16:41:07Z")
All of the pillaging and burning sure made me hot. * * * I failed English, that’s unpossible. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323/40 "2002-04-30T16:51:58Z")
I can help straighten out your Longfellow (apologies to Rodney Dangerfield). I give this movie a thumbs-up! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-double-entendre-thread/106323.md?page=3)