# The downside of coming from a wealthy family. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2017, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850 "2017-02-14T21:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/21 "2017-02-15T13:52:25Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > You need to point out that you had to do all the work yourself - your parents can’t play the trumpet for you. Yeah, but a lot of people don’t like a guy who toots his own horn. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/22 "2017-02-15T14:54:36Z")
Now, imagine a kid who’s Dad is the town drunk who mowed a family down while drunk driving, or who’s brother sexually assaulted someone, or a black kid who’s every misstep is held doubly against them, assuming every bad grade is predestined! I’m not saying you’re not unfairly suffering from other people’s assumptions, you def are! But everybody does to some extent. There’s a saying about how if we all put our troubles into a pile, and we could fully see each other’s, we’d quickly snatch our own back! I suspect there is a lot of truth to that. Don’t worry, you’ll be out of high school soon, and on to a bigger pond where it will be easier to shed these misconceptions. But there are people who have a chip on their shoulder about the wealthy and successful, try not to worry about them. Just be awesome you, that’s all anyone can do really! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/23 "2017-02-15T14:54:47Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > Yeah, but a lot of people don’t like a guy who toots his own horn. I understand there are very few men who can toot their own horn. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/24 "2017-02-15T16:14:24Z")
> [@halfblock](#): > > One reason is that people are jealous of me. They assume that my life is so great. Every time I try to talk to someone about problems that I have, they’ll say something along the lines of “You shouldn’t be complaining. Most people don’t live the kind of lifestyle you live.” The jealousy also makes it difficult for me to make friends. Revel in it. You’re rich? Enjoy it. > [@](#): > > A final reason is that all my achievements are attributed to my wealthy background. I consistently score at the top of my class in my French and World history classes, and I’m also the principal trumpet player in my school’s orchestra. Every time I achieve something, people will say things, “Wow, it really helps to have wealthy parents.” As if money can buy success. We all want to be given credit for our own achievements, but because I’m from a wealthy family, that’s very hard to get. Get a small bag of pennies. When someone does the dismissive “Oh, you’re goood because you’re so-and-so’s son”, say in a casual voice “Oh how jolly. Precisely the sort of comment I’d expect from someone of your status. Here’s a penny, my good fellow. Go pay your mortgage or buy your family a meal.” For bonus points, after you hand them the penny, pat them condescendingly on the head. The lesson you need to take from all the “you’ve got privilige” types is “Yeah, I do. So I’m better than you.” and revel in it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/25 "2017-02-15T16:24:51Z")
I would suggest that the OP join the Peace Corps upon HS graduation. The French will most likely land you in Francophone Africa, and that will be an education you can’t buy. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/26 "2017-02-15T17:17:46Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I grew up in a six bedroom house on a lake. We weren’t wealthy - well off, but not wealthy. > > You will quickly leave your small pond and go onto a place where there is a greater variety in socio economic class - where someone looks at you and says “one house?” with that sort of “really, how does anyone spend weekends without a second home in the Berkshires?” lilt to their voice. Yeah, and the judgment about whether you got something by dint of your hard work and experience or whether you got it through some sort of unearned advantage will probably continue in some degree forever. You see on here; anyone who wasn’t born into desperate poverty will quickly be reminded of all the help they got along the way, if they dare say they gained anything through hard work, skill and grit. Which is bullshit, IMO, in that it’s all relative. Someone who comes from a wealthy background still has to work hard and all that if they want to reach their potential. It’s just that the likely extent of that potential is different; it may not be reasonable for your average super-poor kid from urban Baltimore to expect to get a job making 6 figures. It might happen, but it’s also not necessarily a reasonable expectation, no matter the amount of hard work. Similarly, it might be reasonable for me, considering my background. But being much more than that may not be in the cards; I didn’t grow up with the right connections, I didn’t go to the right schools, etc… It’s all about doing the best with the hand you’re dealt, not bitching that someone else got a better hand. Be glad that in the poker game of life, you were dealt a flush, instead of only a pair, or not even that. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/27 "2017-02-15T18:19:24Z")
When the gravy train doesn’t flow, forever. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/28 "2017-02-15T19:37:46Z")
I guess you just found something that money can’t buy. There will be more. Just be sure you equip yourself with other assets. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/29 "2017-02-15T19:54:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > I understand there are very few men who can toot their own horn. Tooting one’s own horn remains, however, the safest form of sax. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/30 "2017-02-15T20:28:44Z")
“Oh, you poor baby” The prince scowled at me, then broke into a smile, “See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about, you’re the only one at court who’ll call me an idiot when I’m acting like an idiot.” ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/31 "2017-02-15T23:13:33Z")
I sincerely advise you to try to help other people, instead of bemoan your fate. Although you can always multi-task and do both, it’s a free country. Be a tutor; there are usually peer-mentor progams at the better-off schools and if there isn’t one at your school, create one. Volunteer after school for an organization whose programs you support. Work at the SPCA if you like dogs and cats, join a “Friends Of Whatever State Park” is near you, volunteer at a nursing home or hospice. Something. I’m not recommending this for any moral lesson reason, but simply because, like most teenagers, you need a way to think about something/someone other than you and your personal problems. I know it is annoying to have adults tell you this, but your worst problem is simply that you are the age that you are, and nothing really cures that but time. Which cures everything eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2017, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/32 "2017-02-15T23:35:52Z")
> [@Tapiotar](#): > > Congrats! on the trumpet playing. Keep it up! Good for you for putting in the work, and not sliding… …like the trombone players. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2017, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/33 "2017-02-16T11:55:13Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I would suggest that the OP join the Peace Corps upon HS graduation. The French will most likely land you in Francophone Africa, and that will be an education you can’t buy. The Peace Corps, or the Foreign Legion? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/34 "2017-02-17T01:14:47Z")
Life is struggle for all of us. I grew up very poor. Well, American-poor. Sometimes we didn’t have electricity. We ate a lot of rice and beans and biscuits. I never went to a salon for a haircut, I only recall having one pair of shoes but at least I had shoes. And my father was well-known around here too. For being a drunk and a petty thief. They didn’t know the worst of his crimes until I was an adult. But I was pretty happy most of the time (especially after my father disappeared!) and I guess I grew up to be an adult who doesn’t really need much to be happy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/35 "2017-02-17T08:52:47Z")
> [@halfblock](#): > > Another reason is that it’s impossible for me to be my own person. As I said, my parents are somewhat well-know. Every time I introduce myself, whether it’s at a party or at school, they’ll say, “Oh, you’re so-and-so’s son, aren’t you?” I can’t tell you how at annoying it is to be viewed as the child of someone rather being viewed as the person I am. That doesn’t require being wealthy; all it requires is having parents. It works for having siblings, as well. And cousins. And sometimes, even classmates and neighbors! I’m my parents’ daughter, my brothers’ sister, my old classmate’s neighbor, the old classmate of several other of my old classmates, the former teacher of my former students… and in the middle of all that, I’m me. Eventually, if you have kids, you’ll go through a stage your parents also went through (in fact, there are places where they’re still in it): you’ll be known as [your kid]'s parent. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/36 "2017-02-17T09:00:18Z")
The advantage of being born into a wealthy family is that you have the resources to overcome your disadvantage. The same is not true for kids born into poor families. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2017, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850/37 "2017-02-17T10:17:12Z")
heh in Michigan and Indiana my families last name either gets you hugged shot or taken in for questioning depending whos kid you are … in the hometown there was 150 people with my last name only 12 weren’t related in some way [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-downside-of-coming-from-a-wealthy-family/779850.md?page=1)