# The dread Literati Rock game **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2004, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264 "2004-07-09T10:31:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/101 "2004-07-12T10:05:32Z")
I apologize in advance for not numbering these: > [@](#): > > Proceed on foot in the manner of a native of the Old Kingdom. Walk like an Egyptian — song of same name, the Bangles. > [@](#): > > It is only the sensation of strong emotion for another person which can evoke precipitation. Only love can make it rain — Love Reign O’er Me, the Who > [@](#): > > My lifelong profession involves doing a physical exam on individuals I meet – including an ophthalmic assessment, an indirect examination of their hands, and a psychiatric evaluation. (not 100% sure of this one) I’ve made a life out of reading people’s faces and knowing what the cards were by the way they held their eyes — The Gambler, Kenny Rogers > [@](#): > > If you are wondering whether the strong emotions that you are feeling could best be described as love or infatuation, one of the strongest indicators that your feelings are genuine is the tendency of celestial bodies to resemble comestibles. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore — That’s Amore, Dean Martin I’ll submit a question in my next post. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/102 "2004-07-12T10:22:00Z")
When the sky is overcast and threatening precipitation, I alone benefit from solar rays. Additionally, at times when the temperature in the outlying areas is at a low ebb, my experience is that of the fifth lunar cycle of the year. I am a spiteful female. I am involved in a sexual and romantic relationship. I am an immature person and I am a woman who has successfully reproduced at least once. I have committed grave transgressions and I have been exalted. Despite all this, my conscience is clear and untroubled. We have heretofore completed no more than three nor less than five, and as such, we have achieved stablity, upon which other persons began counting… ---
**Author:** ![SpasmicChaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@SpasmicChaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpasmicChaos)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/103 "2004-07-12T12:43:33Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > When the sky is overcast and threatening precipitation, I alone benefit from solar rays. Additionally, at times when the temperature in the outlying areas is at a low ebb, my experience is that of the fifth lunar cycle of the year. I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of may. - Temptations, _My Girl_ > [@Rilchiam](#): > > I am a spiteful female. I am involved in a sexual and romantic relationship. I am an immature person and I am a woman who has successfully reproduced at least once. I have committed grave transgressions and I have been exalted. Despite all this, my conscience is clear and untroubled. I’m a bitch, I’m a lover I’m a child, I’m a mother I’m a sinner, I’m a saint I do not feel ashamed - Meredith Brooks, _Bitch_ I have no idea what the last one is. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/104 "2004-07-12T15:46:11Z")
G11: Situated on a public wooden seat in a recreational area, observing pre-adolescent females with a malevolent objective… G12: Wood of the genus Diospyros and pachyderm dental artifacts cohabitate without discord. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/105 "2004-07-12T15:58:54Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > G12: Wood of the genus Diospyros and pachyderm dental artifacts cohabitate without discord. “Ebony and ivory, live together in perfect harmony…” Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, “Ebony and Ivory” BJ5 (I think it’s 5) - My female, my female, do not express verbal falsehoods to my person, inform me as to the location where you slumbered the previous nocturnal period. BJ6 - I am the canine that receives physical attacks. Force my olfactory organ into excrement. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/106 "2004-07-12T17:24:35Z")
> [@brianjedi](#): > > BJ6 - I am the canine that receives physical attacks. Force my olfactory organ into excrement. I’m the dog that gets beat. Shove my nose in shit. – “Man in the Box” Alice in Chains ---
**Author:** ![Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ersatz_Shmoe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/107 "2004-07-12T18:38:33Z")
BJ5: “My girl, my girl, don’t lie to me. Tell me where did you sleep last night?” - Leadbelly, “In the Pines” ---
**Author:** ![Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ersatz_Shmoe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/108 "2004-07-12T18:47:28Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > G11: Situated on a public wooden seat in a recreational area, observing pre-adolescent females with a malevolent objective… “Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent” - Jethro Tull, “Aqualung” ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/109 "2004-07-12T19:39:24Z")
Ka1: I am the direct male descendant and the legitimate claimant of diffidence which lacks refinement in an unlegitimate way. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/110 "2004-07-12T21:50:55Z")
Just wanted to let you all know [we’ve played this game before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198235) Since I’m lazy, I’m gonna repost my entries here, no fair answering if you know the answers by reading the other thread though: sturm-1: O, massive solar object which - due to having exhausted its supply of fusible matter - has succumbed to its own immense gravity and collapsed in upon itself, I implore you to relocate to my proximity and proceed to cleanse, expunge, and otherwise remove the precipitation which has, of late, befallen the region. sturm-2: He was within his domicile, creating images by the use of variously colored implements. These images depicted the peaks of geographic features generally formed by the collision and upthrust of tectonic plates. Upon the apex of one of the peaks he placed himself, along with a globe the color of a sour citrus fruit. His upper appendages were extended at approximately 30 degrees to the vertical on either side, and the corpses were strewn about in large volumes of gore beneath his feet. sturm-3: Beverage made by the fermentation of blue agave! sturm-4-: I espied the male moving in rhythmic fasion adjacent to the device which, in conjunction with encoded vinyl discs, reproduces audio waves of a specific pattern. I was certain that he was approximately one year younger than the age at which he must, assuming he was a U.S. citizen, register for the selective service. The regularly timed audio pulses were at a high dB value, recreating a specific pattern that I held in high esteem. I surmised that there would be a short interval of time until he became associated with myself, verily, myself. sturm-5: The governmentally-backed physical manifestation of value, it is oft repeated, is the foundation upon which all malfeasance is built in this age. sturm-6: It is my sincere wish that you should have collected all your possesions and put them in their proper places; also that you should have written such papers as would redistribute such possesions in a manner of your choosing, and made your peace with such people as you deemed necessary. sturm-7: If it is your desire to obliterate this knitted garment currently concealing portions of my anatomy, close your hand around this spun fiber as I proceed along a heading which does not intersect yours. sturm-8: Lo there, nubile one, would it behoove you to become prostrate or supine adjacent to my person? sturm-9: Fleets, regiments, squadrons, and other groupings of those who are innately maleficient, appearing in scenes created by neurons firing while in a state of torpidity, which scenes primarily comprise countenances decorated in an allegedly humorous fashion; said groupings made illegal and attempted to expunge all such auditory stimuli created with the intent that those who became cognizant of the stimuli should desire to repeat the experience, by the use of a false airtight container in which certain persons should be exposed to emmisions which are quite inimical to essential cellular functions. sturm-10: An ornithid of aurum hue, which has partaken to relocate to points elsewhere; the uneven, high temperature chemical reaction of a taper with the atmosphere. I ruminate over the fact that I had enclosed you within my arms so recently as the earthly rotation immediately preceding this one; however, the feelings of tenderness and affection you projected toward me were in fact no more than an interesting diversion in relationship psychology for you. and some new ones: sturm-11: For the entire interval during which her life path does not intersect this point in spacetime, no portion of the electromagnetic spectrum emitted by the nearest star is apparent to me. As long as this situation continues, the vibration of molecules proceeds only sluggishly. sturm-12: My ambulatory motor functions have failed me on many occasions during my journeys across the face of this Earth. I find it difficult to even innumerate how often I confided in someone, only to later discover that they had gained while I had suffered. sturm-13: It is my belief that the correct moment has arrived in which to perform our task; assemble all such persons and equipment as required to accomplish this. Yes, now when I reach the end of a countdown sequence we shall proceed about this business. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/111 "2004-07-12T22:19:13Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > Just wanted to let you all know [we’ve played this game before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198235) But that was another country; and besides, the thread is dead. > [@](#): > > sturm-1 Accidentally snipped it, but it’s “Black Hole Sun” by whoever the hell it was. > [@](#): > > sturm-2: He was within his domicile, creating images by the use of variously colored implements. These images depicted the peaks of geographic features generally formed by the collision and upthrust of tectonic plates. Upon the apex of one of the peaks he placed himself, along with a globe the color of a sour citrus fruit. His upper appendages were extended at approximately 30 degrees to the vertical on either side, and the corpses were strewn about in large volumes of gore beneath his feet. Pearl Jam, “Jeremy” > [@](#): > > sturm-4-: I espied the male moving in rhythmic fasion adjacent to the device which, in conjunction with encoded vinyl discs, reproduces audio waves of a specific pattern. I was certain that he was approximately one year younger than the age at which he must, assuming he was a U.S. citizen, register for the selective service. The regularly timed audio pulses were at a high dB value, recreating a specific pattern that I held in high esteem. I surmised that there would be a short interval of time until he became associated with myself, verily, myself. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, “I Love Rock and Roll” > [@](#): > > sturm-5: The governmentally-backed physical manifestation of value, it is oft repeated, is the foundation upon which all malfeasance is built in this age. Pink Floyd, “Money” ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/112 "2004-07-12T23:03:18Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > Accidentally snipped it, but it’s “Black Hole Sun” by whoever the hell it was. You know not the holy name of Soundgarden? Go now, and do your penance! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/113 "2004-07-12T23:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > sturm-3: Beverage made by the fermentation of blue agave! Tequila! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/114 "2004-07-13T07:52:29Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > You know not the holy name of Soundgarden? Go now, and do your penance! I know who they are; I even have one of their songs. I’m just not a fan. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/115 "2004-07-13T15:48:32Z")
G12: Vincent Edward Jackson is acquainted with sundry inconsequential minutae, but Mr. Jackson’s knowledge is of no import, due to the fact that he is incapabable of verbally expounding atonal rhythmic verses to accompany a musical composition. G13: Subsequent to the preciptation’s cleansing effect on the lachrymal secretions and unpleasant sensations, you will be revived from your deceased state. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/116 "2004-07-13T16:01:21Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > sturm-7: If it is your desire to obliterate this knitted garment currently concealing portions of my anatomy, close your hand around this spun fiber as I proceed along a heading which does not intersect yours. “If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away” Undone, the sweater song by **Weezer** ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264/117 "2004-07-17T02:59:25Z")
N3: Who let the dogs out? > [@](#): > > Dpap1 > Goodness, gracious me! > > My initial diagnosis > Rules out measles and thrombosis, > Sleeping sickness and, as far as I can tell, > Influenza, inflammation, > Whooping cough and night starvation, > And you’ll be so glad to hear > That both your eyeballs are so clear > That I can positively swear that you are well, I was thinking of the Gambler, like **Rilchiam** said. * * * [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dread-literati-rock-game/254264.md?page=5)