# The dreaded "rear admiral"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 17, 2000, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722 "2000-08-17T14:22:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/1 "2000-08-17T14:22:47Z")
In the Simpsons Halloween IV episode, the following exchange takes place between Bart and Milhouse: Bart: "Milhouse… Milhouse, wake up quick! Look out the window! Milhouse: “No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet-willies, or even the dreaded ‘rear admiral’!” What is the dreaded “rear admiral”? Has anyone ever received one? (I’m speaking in the context of public school bullying, for you would-be pre-verts out there.) Barring that, can anyone think of something good that we could call a rear admiral? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/2 "2000-08-17T14:25:16Z")
Chief? ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/3 "2000-08-17T14:27:05Z")
I’ve commanded an ass or two in my day. Gives all new meaning to “reeling the main line!” ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/4 "2000-08-17T14:34:20Z")
[The Simpson’s writers made it up for that episode.](http://www.snpp.com/guides/rear.admiral.html) ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/5 "2000-08-17T14:47:32Z")
How disappointing. How am I going to give one to my little brother? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/6 "2000-08-17T14:49:08Z")
Make something nasty up yourself. Go wild! ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/7 "2000-08-17T14:53:06Z")
The “rear admiral” is divided into two: upper half and lower half. :D:D Actually, “Rear Admiral, Lower Half” is a rank in the US Navy, a one-star admiral. I’d rather be called Commodore. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/8 "2000-08-17T17:16:55Z")
Well, I read mojo’s link, but I will say that we were delivering “rear admirals” to each other in college, before that episode ever aired. Our rendition of the rear admiral (in our case, it was only done to members of the opposite sex, and only with people you were friendly with – you can adjust it to your own sexual preference/level of sexual harassment): When someone is climbing the stairs in front of you, you forcefully jam a stiff thumb into their asshole. Most of the time, you miss or tight pants prevent any good results, but once in a while, with the victim wearing some baggy clothes and a little bit of good aim, You can REALLY get them good :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/9 "2000-08-17T18:11:18Z")
mouthbreather, isn’t there already a name for that, “goosing”? I want to know what the “wet-willie” is. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/10 "2000-08-17T18:20:54Z")
AW, I dunno…I’ve always heard of “goosing” but never knew exactly what it meant. In any event, we all called the stiff thumb to the ass “the rear admiral.” I didn’t think about it on first read, but you are right. What the hell does a wet-willie have to do with bending over? The only “wet-willie” I know of is when you lick your finger and then stick it in someone’s ear, leaving them with the ooey-gooey ear canal. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I want to know how the wet-willie is associated with bending over… ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/11 "2000-08-17T18:52:05Z")
I always thought the Rear Admiral was a wedgie, but up front. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/12 "2000-08-17T20:31:42Z")
I always thought the rear admiral’s vice was the vice admiral’s rear. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/13 "2000-08-17T22:44:04Z")
A little off the subject, but is the Josh Wienstein mentioned in that link as a Simpsons writer the same Josh Wienstein who played Dr. Larry Earhardt in the early episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/14 "2000-08-17T23:13:47Z")
Inky-that’s exactly right. Weinstein is the same guy from MST3K! Pretty kewl, huh? (Yes, I say Kewl, dammit!) I thought goosing was just patting someone on the butt… ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dreaded-rear-admiral/29722/15 "2000-08-18T01:17:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > I thought goosing was just patting someone on the butt… > \*\* More of a grab/squeeze.