# The Dueling Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 31, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197 "2001-03-31T02:20:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/61 "2001-04-01T19:14:50Z")
This duel will never end on it’s own. Someone should just call the copse. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/62 "2001-04-01T19:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Purd Werfect \* > \*\*This duel will never end on it’s own. Someone should just call the copse. \*\* Sage advice, but judge us not, lest ye be seen as lily-livered. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/63 "2001-04-01T23:17:35Z")
To bring everyone up to date, **Scylla & Fenris** are still locked in a cajun soon they shall be freed. I have attempted to curry **Fenris’** favor, but all he would say was “Nuts” Bet- chive gotten the last word, though! ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/64 "2001-04-02T00:31:28Z")
_Mnementh, getting fed up with all the words and the lack of bloodshed, begins chasing **Blackclaw** around the room, screaming insanely about justice and honour and generally acting like a nutcase, simply for something to do_ ---
**Author:** ![jmullaney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jmullaney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmullaney)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/65 "2001-04-02T01:56:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > And as for you, **jmullaney** , I was going to suggest pistils at dawn, but you don’t have the stamen-a. I’m a man of peas! ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/66 "2001-04-02T03:41:19Z")
(Princhester smiles wryly at opponents and their cleverly wielded rapiers, swords and garden implements, pulls large gun, fires, turns and walks away). ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/67 "2001-04-04T13:50:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*To bring everyone up to date, **Scylla & Fenris** are still locked in a cajun soon they shall be freed. I have attempted to curry **Fenris’** favor, but all he would say was “Nuts” Bet- chive gotten the last word, though! \*\* Nope, sorry. I simply didn’t respond because I was stunned into silence by the horror of all these plant-based puns. I’m better now, but I was clearly suffering from Fuscia Shock. Fenris (Pun \ borrowed from Callahan’s) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/68 "2001-04-04T15:00:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > > \*\*To bring everyone up to date, **Scylla & Fenris** are still locked in a cajun soon they shall be freed. I have attempted to curry **Fenris’** favor, but all he would say was “Nuts” Bet- chive gotten the last word, though! \*\* > > Nope, sorry. I simply didn’t respond because I was stunned into silence by the horror of all these plant-based puns. I’m better now, but I was clearly suffering from Fuscia Shock. > > Fenris > (Pun \ borrowed from Callahan’s) \*\* But what’s **Scylla’s** excuse? does he want to be considered a Pansey? Lettuce consider our options at this point. I wood berry mulch (I know, used before, but damn a tri-fecta) like to know who is going to judge and thus end this. By Days-ease ing into night, I hope to put the rest to bed. (do I get points for quick return?) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/69 "2001-04-04T15:52:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > \*\*_Mnementh, getting fed up with all the words and the lack of bloodshed, begins chasing **Blackclaw** around the room, screaming insanely about justice and honour and generally acting like a nutcase, simply for something to do_ \*\* Sheathe your blade, **Mnementh** ; the battle here is one of wordplay, not swordplay. Unsheathe, instead, your rapier wit, and fly at your opponents with cutting remarks and pointed gibes. Surely your sharp tongue will soon cut them to the quick. Go on, take a stab at it, and remember: **the pun is mightier than the sword**. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/70 "2001-04-04T16:06:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \*Sheathe your blade, **Mnementh** ; the battle here is one of wordplay, not swordplay. Unsheathe, instead, your rapier wit, and fly at your opponents with cutting remarks and pointed gibes. Surely your sharp tongue will soon cut them to the quick. Go on, take a stab at it, and remember: **the pun is mightier than the sword**. > \*\* aww. cut it out. It’s not knife to fool with us that way. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/71 "2001-04-04T16:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > aww. cut it out. It’s not knife to fool with us that way. \*\* Well, I thought this thread needed a comic foil. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/72 "2001-04-04T16:14:24Z")
This thread is a strange tractor for every cucumber in the tomato patch. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/73 "2001-04-04T16:22:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*This thread is a strange tractor for every cucumber in the tomato patch. \*\* with the bantering from you two blades (I get credit for both ya know), 'tis difficult indeed to tear myself away from the un-lime-ated a-peel of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/74 "2001-04-04T16:29:27Z")
Stop trying to plant your pitiful puns on me; whatever you’re selling here, I haven’t botany. This reminds me of a similar duel I had years ago. Ten times my opponents attacked me with their feeble attempts at wit; ten times they thought to strike me down with clever words, and yet **no pun in ten did**. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/75 "2001-04-04T17:07:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*Stop trying to plant your pitiful puns on me; whatever you’re selling here, I haven’t botany. > > This reminds me of a similar duel I had years ago. Ten times my opponents attacked me with their feeble attempts at wit; ten times they thought to strike me down with clever words, and yet **no pun in ten did**. \*\* Hey, bud, watch who you’re talking to, and stem the tide of the insinuations please… :D. Have you taken leaf of your senses? Your seedy responses have no point. ---
**Author:** ![astraeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@astraeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astraeus)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/76 "2001-04-04T17:56:44Z")
Now, now, we’re all fronds here. No need to vine about arboring thread. Orange you all in agreement that there’s too much violets on the media already? I will therefore not azalea with weapons, but rather say to all those who would use guns rather than puns: “Begonia!.” All this impatiens for new puns is starting to get to me, too. It takes thyme to come up with puns, so I’d ask all you rap-scallions to keep mum on the subject for a while. -astraeus ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/77 "2001-04-04T18:24:36Z")
I shall subplant my wishes now, fer-telize-here any longer would cause me to olive my usefullness. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/78 "2001-04-04T22:05:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LNO \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by nikjohns \* > > \*\*You fight like a dairy farmer \*\* > > How appropriate. You fight like a cow. > > My $10, please. It’ll go towards defraying the cost of my Guybrush Threepwood merchandise. \*\* DRAT! You beat me to it! (Guybrush Threepwood, you’re my hero!) I need a life… ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/79 "2001-04-04T22:27:35Z")
I can see this thread has already gone to pot. Or, with the fall of night, shall it bloom yet again? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197/80 "2001-04-04T22:42:11Z")
certainly 'tis a poppy-lur one, eh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dueling-thread/60197.md?page=5)