# The Dumbest Joke in the World, and I can't stop laughing **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805 "2002-04-04T16:51:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/1 "2002-04-04T16:51:27Z")
I heard this one two days ago: Joker: Knock, knock. Jokee: Who’s there? Joker: An impatient cow. Jokee: An impa . . . Joker (bursting in): Moo! Why on God’s green earth do I find this so funny? I’m laughing now just thinking about telling it. 😛 RR (It works great with a duck, too.) ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/2 "2002-04-04T17:01:56Z")
I read the thread title and THAT was the first joke that came to mind, except I’ve heard it: Joker: Interrupting Cow Jokee: Interr – Joker: MOOO! You’re right, it’s dumb, but it’s a classic. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/3 "2002-04-04T17:17:10Z")
That’s a slight variation on the bit that made Johnny Carson laugh so hard I was sure he was going to have a coronary, right there on television. Buddy Hackett (I believe it was him): Johnny, I’ve discovered the key to all great humor. JC: Oh, what’s the key to al— Buddy Hackett: TIMING! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/4 "2002-04-04T17:19:22Z")
I first heard the interrupting cow as a closing joke on an episode of **The Vicar of Dibley**. ---
**Author:** ![Oreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c57346/32.png) [@Oreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oreo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/5 "2002-04-04T17:32:16Z")
I always heard it as the “impatient chicken” who gives a really loud squawk. Somehow, I just can’t moo as loud as I can squawk, and the louder the funnier, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/6 "2002-04-04T17:36:40Z")
huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh Oh I am cracking up. Those stupid jokes are so me! ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/7 "2002-04-04T17:38:02Z")
My favorite dumb jokes Why’d the crazy man call his son Joe? a. That was his name What’d the famer say when he lost his tractor? a. Where the hell’s my tractor? heeheehee ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/8 "2002-04-04T17:41:08Z")
You asked for it. Did you know deer don’t have uncles? _They just have "aunt"lers._ What’s black and white and green and white and black and smells terrible? _Two skunks fighting over a pickle._ What’s the difference between a tiger and a well-dressed man? _A well-dressed man wears a 3-piece suit and a tiger… just pants._ ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/9 "2002-04-04T17:42:23Z")
OMG! That’s hysterical! I just spit all over myself! Really! I’m gonna go tell my husband right now. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/10 "2002-04-04T17:59:40Z")
Told him the cow joke, and he laughed. 😃 Told him the skunk/pickle joke, and he groaned. Told him the farmer/tractor joke, and he just rolled his eyes. I love the cow joke. Can’t wait until my kids get home so I can tell them. They’ll LOVE it! ---
**Author:** ![Jimson\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@Jimson\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimson_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/11 "2002-04-04T18:05:26Z")
Why did the frog cross the road? _Because he was stapled to the chicken’s but._ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/12 "2002-04-04T18:19:06Z")
Why did the pervert cross the road? To get to the chicken. Why did the monkey fall ouyt of the tree? Because it was dead. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/13 "2002-04-04T18:28:52Z")
Here’s one I remember from elementary school: Q: What’s round, two inches across, has blue hair, weighs 10,000 pounds and goes “peckety-peck-peck?” A: Nothing. Stumps 'em every time. RR 'Cause that was his name. Waaaahahaha! I can’t take it. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/14 "2002-04-04T18:32:03Z")
A priest, a rabbi and an indian walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender comes over and says, “What is this, a joke?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/15 "2002-04-04T18:39:57Z")
Me: Ask me if I’m a banana. You: Are you a banana? Me: No. ---
**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/16 "2002-04-04T18:55:25Z")
Q:Whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? A:Grapes are purple and elephants are grey. Q:What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? A: Look Jane here come the elephants. Q:What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill wearing dark glasses? A: Nothing he didn’t recognise them. Q: What did Jane say when she say the elphants coming over the hill? A: Jesus fucking Christ Tarzan! A bunch of grapes wearing dark glasses is coming over the hill! (she was colourblind). I predict that this thread is going to go to 3 pages, easy… ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/17 "2002-04-04T19:21:01Z")
You have to be sure to space them out a bit and not tell them too close together or you’ll ruin the effect of the 2nd one you tell… Q:What is a foot long and slippery? A: A Slipper! Q:What is brown and sticky? A: A Stick! (it helps to shout the answer and laugh uncontrollably afterwards - at least that is what I always do…) ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/18 "2002-04-04T19:27:32Z")
Q:Why are elephants Big, Gray, and Wrinkled? A:Because if they were Small, White and Smooth they’d be Aspirin. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/19 "2002-04-04T19:32:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CheapBastid \* > \*\* > (it helps to shout the answer and laugh uncontrollably afterwards - at least that is what I always do…) \*\* 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/20 "2002-04-04T19:43:03Z")
So these two penguins were sitting in a tub of rocks wearing blonde wigs. The first penguin says to the second penguin, “Please pass the ketchup.” The second penguin gives the first penuin a _look_ and says, “What do I look like, a typewriter?” 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805.md?page=2)