# The Dumbest Joke in the World, and I can't stop laughing **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805 "2002-04-04T16:51:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/21 "2002-04-04T20:01:07Z")
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” ---
**Author:** ![robinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@robinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinh)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/22 "2002-04-04T20:47:35Z")
My son (who has been enjoying the Captain Underpants series recently) told me this one last night: Knock, knock _Who’s there?_ A pile-up. _I’m a pile-up who?_ Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself… ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/23 "2002-04-04T21:00:18Z")
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A f—ing stick! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/24 "2002-04-04T21:11:55Z")
Two guys walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would’ve ducked. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/25 "2002-04-04T22:25:39Z")
Lone Ranger: Y’know Tonto, my penis is so long I can tie a knot in it. Tonto: Kimosabe, how come? ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/26 "2002-04-04T22:51:39Z")
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says “Hey buddy, why the long face?” ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/27 "2002-04-04T22:59:23Z")
A second grade juke: How come the crack in your butt goes up and down? Because if it went sideways when you went down the slide it would go: bump-bump-bump-bump…. Cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![Godfrey\_Daniels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Godfrey\_Daniels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Godfrey_Daniels)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/28 "2002-04-04T23:00:14Z")
Man walks into psychiatrist’s office wrapped in cellophane…shrink says “I can clearly see you’re nuts”… ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/29 "2002-04-04T23:08:39Z")
1st person: I can teach you how to yodel. 2nd person: How? 1st person: Knock, knock. 2nd person: Who’s there? 1st person: Your old lady… ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/30 "2002-04-04T23:23:11Z")
Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies. ---
**Author:** ![tigergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@tigergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tigergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/31 "2002-04-04T23:30:22Z")
Why did the Koala fall off his bike? Someone threw a refrigerator at him A friend and I were walkng down the street the other day when I was overwhelmed by an incredible smell. I turned to Fred and said “You didn’t just let one go did you?!” to which he took great offence and said “Of course I did; you don’t think I smell like this all the time do you?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/32 "2002-04-04T23:43:24Z")
Some of my favorites have been in here already but by god I know dumb jokes. Regarding the cow joke there is a similar one for Amy Fisher Knock Knock Who’s there? Amy Fisher Amy Fisher Wh **BLAM** Always gets me the weirdest looks in restaurants. What is black and white and can’t fit thru a door? A nun with a spear thru her head. What has three eye two bills and flies? A bird with spare parts. What’s the difference between a blowjob and a movie? (they say I don’t know) Wanna go to a movie? What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large. Did you hear about the deviled egg? He was eggsorsized. I’m reminded of the _I SAID POSSE_ joke but do not feel the need to type it. A rabbi a priest and a leprechaun walk into a bar the leprechaun looks around and says “F\*\*K I’m in the wrong joke” ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/33 "2002-04-05T00:14:46Z")
Two beekeepers are having a chat. First beekeeper: I’ve got 1000 bees in three hives Second beekeeper: : I’ve got 1700 bees in one hive First beekeeper: My, isn’t that a bit crowded Second beekeeper: Yeah, but, fuck 'em. Little bastards. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/34 "2002-04-05T00:16:54Z")
Q: what is the difference between an elephant and a ham sandwich? (“dunno, what?”) A: man, you must be pretty stupid if you can’t tell the difference between an elephant and a ham sandwich!! ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/35 "2002-04-05T00:22:15Z")
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: Because they all have phones. Almost asphyxiated when I heard that one. ---
**Author:** ![BGo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@BGo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BGo)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/36 "2002-04-05T01:59:48Z")
How can you tell if there’s an elephant under your bed? The ceiling is very close. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/37 "2002-04-05T02:10:11Z")
I remember this one from elementary school: Q: Will you remember me a year from now? A: Yes. Q: Will you remember me ten years from now? A: Yes. Q: Will you remember me a century from now? A: Yes. (pause) Knock knock! Who’s there? Hey, you said you’d remember me a century from now! Why did you ask who I was? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/38 "2002-04-05T02:26:52Z")
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You got a drink named Steve?” ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/39 "2002-04-05T02:51:59Z")
A skeleton goes into a bar. He says, “Give me a beer and a mop.” Incidentally, I just told the interrupting cow joke the other night and reduced a friend to hysterics. She hardly ever laughs at jokes either. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805/40 "2002-04-05T02:56:25Z")
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-joke-in-the-world-and-i-cant-stop-laughing/101805.md?page=3)