# The dumbest marital argument ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 8, 2016, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317 "2016-09-08T02:36:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/21 "2016-09-08T04:59:14Z")
The bike is worth a look. If you go that way, take a safe riding class first. A man of a certain age should avoid the racing crouch style of bike. It will take its toll on your wrists, elbows, and back before you get 2000 miles under the tires. Your wife reacted badly to the list, so option 2 will likely get you a divorce, and you won’t be able to afford all that swinging. The lil’ donkeys could be good if you’ve enjoyed keeping livestock before. If you have no experience, spend some days with a person who has a herd of them. See if you enjoy getting them hay and water _every_ morning and mucking out their little stable all through the winter. The choice is yours. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/22 "2016-09-08T05:29:56Z")
But what if the open swinging lifestyle is with the 10-15 miniature donkeys? How to vote? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/23 "2016-09-08T05:30:28Z")
Well, I personally would go for a motorcycle if anything (though my midlife crisis, such as it is, involved writing. I’m not sure I’ve had one yet but I mature slowly, and if I have one now it means I’ll live to 130.) But I voted for donkeys. Just keep them away from Tijuana if you know what I mean and I think you do. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/24 "2016-09-08T05:31:21Z")
I sure do! ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/25 "2016-09-08T05:33:44Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > But what if the open swinging lifestyle is with the 10-15 miniature donkeys? How to vote? Y’all. Seriously. All parties in this poll must be of consenting age, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/26 "2016-09-08T05:52:04Z")
If you’re going to get a herd of something, I’d personally go for something productive - goats (and make your own cheese) or alpaca (and sell the wool). Really, why would you want donkeys when [alpaca](https://pixabay.com/photo-985158/) exist? ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/27 "2016-09-08T06:12:33Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you’re going to get a herd of something, I’d personally go for something productive - goats (and make your own cheese) or alpaca (and sell the wool). > > Really, why would you want donkeys when [alpaca](https://pixabay.com/photo-985158/) exist? Well, miniature donkeys are adorable. But the wife has a thing for alpacas, so that’s a fair point. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/28 "2016-09-08T06:28:18Z")
Or Capybara! Like people-sized guinea pigs! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/29 "2016-09-08T06:37:42Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I have a black cat. I mean, panther… When I was a kid, we had a black cat _named_ Panther. (Really, we did.) > [@Mangetout](#): > > Or Capybara! Like people-sized guinea pigs! Next step: Capybara [festivals](http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2010/perus_guinea_pig_festival.htm)! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/30 "2016-09-08T07:00:33Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you’re going to get a herd of something, I’d personally go for something productive - goats (and make your own cheese) or alpaca (and sell the wool). > > Really, why would you want donkeys when [alpaca](https://pixabay.com/photo-985158/) exist? Goats are destructive and alpaca are bad-tempered biters and spitters. Donkeys, on the other hand, are quite personable as long as you treat them well and appeal to their best interests. I’ll take a donkey any day over any other equine or camelid. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/31 "2016-09-08T07:03:01Z")
No love for sheep? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/32 "2016-09-08T07:10:37Z")
The resale value of a midlife-motorcycle is quite reasonable. I’m not sure about donkeys. But don’t take my word for it: just notice how relieved the guy is you buy the donkeys from. Donkeys, eh? Say what you want, but I know the newest trends at least a year before anyone else here in the Netherlands, thanks to you guys. ---
**Author:** ![appleaday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@appleaday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleaday)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/33 "2016-09-08T08:23:31Z")
Now, just what do you plan to do with those poor donkeys? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/34 "2016-09-08T11:29:47Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you’re going to get a herd of something, I’d personally go for something productive - goats (and make your own cheese) or alpaca (and sell the wool). > > Really, why would you want donkeys when [alpaca](https://pixabay.com/photo-985158/) exist? Goat milk must be removed from the doe and a Billy is going to be needed to keep the does pregnant (and male goats are repugnant to care for). I’ve helped shear a llama. I assume shearing an alpaca is at least as noxious. Get the motorcycle, it maintains a decent resale value and doesn’t need to be milked. ---
**Author:** ![davida03801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@davida03801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davida03801)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/35 "2016-09-08T11:52:49Z")
You know I could see a few miniature donkeys out in the back 40. Neat idea. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/36 "2016-09-08T11:55:28Z")
I just wanted one miniature horse. My wife is finally coming around. The age you’re talking about is too old to really enjoy a motorcycle, that’s something you do when younger, usually about 1 to 2 years after marriage when the shine comes off. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/37 "2016-09-08T12:39:59Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > The age you’re talking about is too old to really enjoy a motorcycle, that’s something you do when younger, usually about 1 to 2 years after marriage when the shine comes off. I’ve never owned a bike, but a good friend purchased his first, an ultra high-end Harley, as a birthday gift to himself on turning 55. He’d never been on a motorcycle. He had a friend drive it home for him. That was 6 years ago and he still loves the bike. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/38 "2016-09-08T13:01:12Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve never owned a bike, but a good friend purchased his first, an ultra high-end Harley, as a birthday gift to himself on turning 55. > > He’d never been on a motorcycle. He had a friend drive it home for him. That was 6 years ago and he still loves the bike. I’m not saying it can’t be enjoyed, but not in the reckless carefree way you can do it when you’re young. Once you hit 50 you know you’re an old guy on a bike, and likely to be like your friend riding a high end status symbol instead of tearing up the streets on something that’s just fast and sleek. And I intend to be one of those guys eventually, I had a bunch of bikes when I was younger so I got that part out of my system, but I guess I do want that high end Harley still. ETA: But Jeez! You can’t really compare a bike to something as cool as a herd of miniature donkeys. Lots of old guys get bikes, but how many can truthfully brag about all the ass they’re getting? ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/39 "2016-09-08T13:21:56Z")
If I were a man in a mid-life crisis I would choose [this.](https://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2008/10/06/07/55/1962_ferrari_250_gto-pic-11675-1600x1200.jpeg) A motorcycle is no fun when it’s raining. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317/40 "2016-09-08T13:53:22Z")
If you get one or more miniature donkeys, please post a photo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-marital-argument-ever/765317.md?page=3)