# The Dumbest Person I Know **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736 "2001-08-03T03:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/61 "2002-08-19T05:16:21Z")
Friend1: Your so dumb you’d look for a corner in a circular room. Friend2: Where would I find a circular room? And then there was my fundy friend that was convinced people were around when dinosaurs were and they just forgot about them. At which point I tried to explain that there was a couple of million years seperating us and dinosaurs, the oldest human fossils aren’t even nearly as old as the youngest dinosaur fossils. His explaination was, and I quote: “Well, God did it!” Me: Did what? Him: Made people forget about dinosaurs! M: Why? Him: Um. And I convinced one friend that his heart was on his right side and that was his liver that was beating. Good times ---
**Author:** ![anyrae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e495f1/32.png) [@anyrae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrae)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/62 "2002-08-19T06:53:04Z")
OK, you know how you shouldn’t go immediately to the shortest line until you know why it is shortest? Well, I know of someone who is a friend of mine, that stood in the shortest line. She was standing there for a really long time watching the longer lines move quickly. She thought about switching lines, but then she was sooo close to the front of this one. OK so then she’s at the front of this line and this guy that is handing out the papers that you have to fill out to get credit for attending this work thing, starts talking to her. At first she isn’t sure if he is talking to her or not. She realizes he was speaking in some foreign language, maybe french? Then he switches to something else…Spanish perhaps? Then something that sounded like Japanese or something, in total he tried probably 4 or 5 different languages. She just kept looking at him, so confused. Finally he says all incredulously “DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?” Tee hee…it seems this girl was standing in the line to get an interpreter. She’s so silly, ok yes this was me, I’m not stupid, I am just a bit airhead-y sometimes. The interpreter was so perplexed, after I told him that I did indeed speak english…,he asked “Then why are you in the line for an interpreter?” I just laughed until he gave me my paper, then I looked around to see if anyone saw me. Just my cousin who is a goof ball too. One time he got really drunk and accidentally mistook the kitchen garbage can for the toilet! eww… Oh and here’s another dumb thing I did once. Classes had begun about a week or so prior to this “event.” Anyway, here I am sitting in this classroom as it fills up. I was early:) Then I started to notice there were an awful lot of “new” people in there. Then I noticed how they all must have come from the same class because they all had the same books…oh, wait…I am the only one without this book… Sh\*t wrong class… By the time I went to the other class, the teacher (real freak about tardiness!) was closing the door and didn’t want to let me in. I was able to get in, but he told me to see him after class. Ugh so then I had to tell him why I was late… Good grief… But I was never late again and I got an “A” from him! See not dumb, just silly… ---
**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/63 "2002-08-20T23:13:22Z")
[hijack] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > **She decided not to get the baby circumsised. The doctor gave her detailed instructions on how to keep the penis clean, but she thought the cleaning prcedure looked painful so she didn’t do it and didn’t tell anybody she wasn’t doing it, so 2 month old baby has to go to the E.R. because his penis is so infected he can’t pee, and he had blood poisoning.** I gave birth to my son here in Japan, where circumcision isn’t practised. I was never taught to clean his penis in any special way. As a matter of fact, I was taught that you shouldn’t even try to clean under the foreskin because you can cause even more problems. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of a kid getting blood poisoning from not having his penis cleaned properly. So I don’t think this is terribly ditzy. But she qualifies on all other counts. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2002, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/64 "2002-08-20T23:28:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > \*\*My sister-in-law can provide much entertainment with her stupity once you get over the initial shock. However, it got pretty scary after she decided to reproduce. > She was trying to get pregnant, and one day she was all happy and telling everybody she was definately pregnant. She and her husband had sex 2 days earlier and her stomach was already swelling and it even hurt a little. She made everybody press her belly to feel how hard it was. Turned out to be gas. > > While she was pregnant, she decided she didn’t want to gain anymore weight so she went on a diet of watermelon, potatoes, and lemons. And was sent to the hospital because there was too much acid in her blood. > > When the baby was born, her husband had to mix up the formula before he went to work everyday because she didn’t know how to use a measuring cup. > > She decided not to get the baby circumsised. The doctor gave her detailed instructions on how to keep the penis clean, but she thought the cleaning prcedure looked painful so she didn’t do it and didn’t tell anybody she wasn’t doing it, so 2 month old baby has to go to the E.R. because his penis is so infected he can’t pee, and he had blood poisoning. > > The baby was teething and cried constantly, so while my mother-in-law was keeping him she got curious because he was sleeping so deeply. Turns out stupid sister-in-law gave him some Tylenol and got teaspoon confused with tablespoon. > > I could go on forever… > > Thank god the kid has made it to 12 years old. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/65 "2002-08-21T04:54:35Z")
First of all, I thought jackalopes were real! Second of all, Christmas actually replaced a pagan holiday, Saternalia. Everyone was getting too rowdy, so the Christians decided to switch everyone to Christmas. And Wearia, didn’t you EVER watch the Flinstones? Of course humans and dinosaurs existed simultaneously. I saw it on TV so it must be true! Especially 'cause it was a cartoon! ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736/66 "2002-08-22T02:10:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by angelicate \* > \*\* She was also convinced that “infomercials” were called “nymphomercials.” > \*\* Don’t they sell those “Personal Massagers” on late-night TV? This is a great word, I must start using it. About a year and a half ago, I was close to graduating from college, and was working retail at a petstore part time. A girl I worked with started asking me what I was going to do after I graduated. I informed her that I was going to move to New Mexico to attend graduate school. Her (incredulously): Really? Wow. Will you be able to take your cats? Me: Yes, I just need to get them health certificates and tranquilizers for the trip. Her: So do you have a passport? Do you speak Spanish? Me: Uhhh… (realizing that she thinks I’m moving to Mexico) yeah. Hey, I think I need to go clean a fishtank now or something… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-person-i-know/74736.md?page=3)