# The dumbest questions I have heard this week. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661 "2003-01-19T18:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/1 "2003-01-19T18:27:18Z")
At the drive through: “Is that for here or to go?” (OK, I’ll give her that one, it is probably so ingrained into her that it is habit.) I stopped to get my hair cut. No one was at the desk so I sat down and began reading a magazine. Two women finally appear and ask me: “Are you here for a hair cut?” (No, I’d like a burger and some fries.) My mother: “Are you going to tell the Doctor about your cough?” (No, I am paying a man 100 dollars to make me well, but I thought it would be fun to make him guess what my problems are…) ---
**Author:** ![Birds\_On\_A\_Bat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@Birds\_On\_A\_Bat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birds_On_A_Bat)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/2 "2003-01-19T18:38:38Z")
At home, after answering my home telephone: “Where are you?” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/3 "2003-01-19T19:19:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\* “Are you going to tell the Doctor about your cough?” (No, I am paying a man 100 dollars to make me well, but I thought it would be fun to make him guess what my problems are…) \*\* You might be surprised just how often said scenario actually occurs. I’ve had some patients refuse to tell me their symptoms, saying that since I’m the doctor, I should figure it out. I tell them that “Yes, I am a doctor, but I’m not a vet. But I can refer you to one if you wish”. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/4 "2003-01-19T19:20:31Z")
BTW, vet = veterinarian. ---
**Author:** ![Arcangues181](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cab0a1/32.png) [@Arcangues181](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcangues181)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/5 "2003-01-19T21:19:39Z")
I didn’t hear it this week, but a counselor for an Agriculture/Farming camp for kids at the University or Minnesota once told me that when he’d show his sheep, adults(both men and women) would approach him and ask of the sheep “What are those little bags hanging between his legs?” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/6 "2003-01-19T21:55:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Birds On A Bat \* > At home, after answering my home telephone: “Where are you?” Umm, you never heard of call forwarding? ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/7 "2003-01-19T21:58:20Z")
Patron standing at checkout desk in my Library “Do you have any books?” ---
**Author:** ![dbygawdcapn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dbygawdcapn/32/3995_2.png) [@dbygawdcapn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbygawdcapn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/8 "2003-01-20T02:01:44Z")
There was a headline in the local newspaper that described a fatal motorcycle accident that involved a good friend of mine, who happens to share the same profession. When I stopped in at our local watering hole a few days later, some dolt asked me in apparent seriousness, “Was that you in that fatal motorcycle accident?” Yeah, it was me. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/9 "2003-01-20T03:05:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Birds On A Bat \* > \*\*At home, after answering my home telephone: “Where are you?” \*\* Hey, I’ve done that : “didn’t I just speed-dial her cell?” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/10 "2003-01-20T04:11:57Z")
When a bunch of us were sitting around watching _Tour of Duty_: “Is this the one when they’re in Vietnam?” Of course, we knew he was kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/11 "2003-01-20T23:47:16Z")
Tonight, answering the phone: (Me:) Hello, Khadaji. (Them) May I speak to Khadaji please? I decided she was too dumb to speak to me so I told her I wasn’t here. ---
**Author:** ![Chanticleer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@Chanticleer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanticleer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/12 "2003-01-21T17:49:18Z")
My wife said to me " You look tired". I said " Yeah, I just woke up". Then she asked " Were you sleeping"? Now tell me what else could one wake up from? ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/13 "2003-01-21T18:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*When a bunch of us were sitting around watching _Tour of Duty_: > > “Is this the one when they’re in Vietnam?” > > \*\* I just handed in a paper on this for my class on reporting a military beat. It occurs to me that I may have written the thing without once mentioning the word Vietnam. Ah well. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/14 "2003-01-21T18:02:55Z")
on this = on _Tour of Duty_ ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/15 "2003-01-21T18:17:19Z")
My wife…this morning: “Would you like a blow-job?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/16 "2003-01-21T18:31:28Z")
It was 2 degrees F when I left for work this morning. My cube-mate…“Cold enough for ya’?” Ummm, yea. ---
**Author:** ![magog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/fbc32d/32.png) [@magog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magog)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/17 "2003-01-21T19:31:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chanticleer \* > \*\*My wife said to me " You look tired". I said " Yeah, I just woke up". > Then she asked " Were you sleeping"? > > Now tell me what else could one wake up from? \*\* A coma? ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/18 "2003-01-21T20:58:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dbygawdcapn \* > \*\*… some dolt asked me in apparent seriousness, “Was that you in that fatal motorcycle accident?” > > Yeah, it was me. \*\* A true story that continually circulates in my family, about my dear departed grandfather: He was at home, reading the Sunday paper (as was his habit), slowly (as was his ability, god bless him). He read the headline aloud: “Man in _(town)_ suffers from lethal \_\_\_\_\_.” He diligently starts reading the article, mumbling quietly to himself, and gets to the end. He then sums it up with: “Huh. Killed 'im, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/19 "2003-01-21T23:33:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superbee \* > \*\*My wife…this morning: > > “Would you like a blow-job?” \*\* Well now! THERE’S a stupid question that I could easily become accustomed to - and would not even be annoyed by.😃 ---
**Author:** ![d12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71c47a/32.png) [@d12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d12)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/20 "2003-01-21T23:46:08Z")
We’re talking about Joan of Arc and how she helped the French in World Religions, when my friend asks: “She sounds nice and all, but how the hell did she get all those animals on the boat?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661.md?page=2)