# The dumbest questions I have heard this week. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661 "2003-01-19T18:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/21 "2003-01-22T01:10:07Z")
Instant Message sent to me by one of my business partners: “Are you online?” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/22 "2003-01-22T01:21:21Z")
**THespos** has the winner! ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/23 "2003-01-22T14:00:03Z")
Upon talking to someone in an elevator: “Wow, [Mully], have you always been that tall?” Yeah, I was 81 inches tall when born. My mom still hasn’t forgiven me. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/24 "2003-01-22T15:39:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mullinator \* > \*\*Upon talking to someone in an elevator: > > “Wow, [Mully], have you always been that tall?” > > Yeah, I was 81 inches tall when born. My mom still hasn’t forgiven me. \*\* I like the one:" Whats the _least_ you’ve ever weighed?" I say: “9lbs six ounces” ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/25 "2003-01-22T15:51:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arcangues181 \* > \*\*I didn’t hear it this week, but a counselor for an Agriculture/Farming camp for kids at the University or Minnesota once told me that when he’d show his sheep, adults(both men and women) would approach him and ask of the sheep “What are those little bags hanging between his legs?” \*\* I think this must be fairly common, probably something to do with their overwhelming size. During the time I worked in a pet store, people would often point to a male rat’s or hamster’s dangly bits and ask me, “Are those its babies?” After numerous times of politely explaining, I did once respond, “I’m sure he probably thinks so.” This was a regular customer (she kept birds), so we both had a good chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/26 "2003-01-22T16:42:08Z")
Regarding the “where are you?” question, I’ve had something of the opposite happen to me. If someone calls my home number and I don’t answer after four rings, it call-forwards to my cell phone. I had an amusing conversation with a friend of mine who assumed I was at home because he’d dialed my home number. I kept insisting I was driving on the highway, and he thought I was playing some elaborate joke. I started to get pretty annoyed until I realized what was going on. Heh… ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/27 "2003-01-22T17:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tinkertoy \* > \*\*Patron standing at checkout desk in my Library “Do you have any books?” \*\* Ooh, I would get the dumbest questions when I worked at Barnes & Noble. (Large bookstore chain for those that may not know of it.) A sampling: “Where can I get a library card?” (while standing next to the up escalator) “How do I get upstairs?” “You mean I can buy the books?” And my personal favorite, “Hi, I know this is a bookstore and all, but…i’m having vaginal itching. What should I do?” I haven’t heard any really dumb questions in a while. I guess you could say my step son’s asking me “what’s that?” while looking at a piece of bread was dumb, but well, he’s only 3. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_of\_Graymatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/74df32/32.png) [@Baron\_of\_Graymatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_of_Graymatter)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/28 "2003-01-22T18:40:07Z")
Me, answering phone: Hello? Telemarketer: May I speak to (my deceased father) please? Me: Uh…he died in 1999. Telemarketer: Oh…when will he be coming back? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/29 "2003-01-24T01:20:31Z")
Baron - my condolances for the loss of your father, but thanks - that is a funny dumb question. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/30 "2003-01-24T01:49:41Z")
The story of the sheep’s testicles made me think of what I overheard in the Washington, D.C zoo. Two bears began to mate, but the female kept walking around, sniffing the ground, forcing the male to wobble along behind her. A twenty-something man walked up, and after standing there for a few moments asked loudly, “Why does that bear have two heads?” ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/31 "2003-01-24T17:16:41Z")
Just now, on the phone: 'If you are calling from a rotary phone, press 1 for operator assistance" 😕 ---
**Author:** ![katie1341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@katie1341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katie1341)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/32 "2003-01-24T17:33:31Z")
When I used to work in a shoe store (OK, it wasn’t this week), I’d occasionally get someone who would pick up a shoe and ask me, “Do you have this in my size?” I guess I looked psychic. ``` What DID happen this week- I answered the phone "public defender's office", and whoever was on the other end asked, "Is this the sheriff's office?" ``` ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/33 "2003-01-24T17:59:41Z")
About ten minutes ago, here at work at the library, on the phone: Me: “BlankBlank Library, this is Tara, can I help you?” Caller: “Is this the BlankBlank Library?” Me: “Yes.” Caller: “Is this someone in the library?” Me: “Excuse me?” Caller: “Are you someone in the library?” Me: “I’m the Circulation Desk Assistant.” Caller: “You’re actually _in_ the library, though, right?” Me: “Yes, I am.” Turns out the guy was looking for a person who may or may not have been in the library at the moment, wanted me to page them. I explained to him that we don’t page people over the intercom (It’s a freaking _library_!) and if it was an emergency he could call the campus police and have them try to find the person, he stammered a bit and hung up on me. Weird guy. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/34 "2003-01-24T18:00:22Z")
Our anesthesiologist walked out of a labor room chuckling----a woman he’d given an epidural to was complaining that it made her legs feel numb and she didn’t want it anymore. He explained that if he stopped the infusion, she’d soon feel her contractions again. Puzzled, she said “Didn’t they just stop on their own?” Guess the catheter in the spine with the IV bag feeding into it was just a coincidence. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/35 "2003-01-24T18:02:53Z")
“Does using all caps change the meaning of the word?” I wish I were kidding. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/36 "2003-01-24T18:28:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \* > \*\*“Does using all caps change the meaning of the word?” > > I wish I were kidding. :smack: \*\* Let’s check: Yes. (= Yes) YES. (= Hell Yes, stupid!) Yep, that works. Dumbest question this week: Can we make it so that we can’t delete files? YES. But we’ll need bigger hard drives. ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/37 "2003-01-24T20:22:08Z")
I had my share when working at Disney World… It is raining… “Guests” come to me and ask “when is it gonna stop raining?”… ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/38 "2003-01-24T22:35:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \* > “Does using all caps change the meaning of the word?” > > I wish I were kidding. :smack: salt: sodium chloride. SALT: strategic arms limitations talks (or treaty). Yup. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/39 "2003-01-25T00:01:53Z")
Me: Mom, when the pope dies, does his son then become pope? Mom: Why don’t you stop and think about that one for a second. (she pats me on the head) Me: :smack: I wish I could tell you I was 5 or 6 but I wasn’t, I was 22 or so. If it helps at all, I wasn’t raised Catholic. I realise it didn’t happen this week but I figured it was worth sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/40 "2003-01-25T04:00:14Z")
I’m hosting a Super Bowl party for the guys at work to watch on my big-screen TV. One of the guys asked if there would be a place to plug in the hot-plate for the meatballs. (Me: Yeah, I have electricity now [How else would I run the TV?]) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661.md?page=3)