# The dumbest questions I have heard this week. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661 "2003-01-19T18:27:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/41 "2003-01-25T04:43:24Z")
This happens at least once a day, not just this week. At work - Me: Thank you for calling (company), this is Sarah. How may I help you? Caller: Is this (company I just clearly identified)? No, it’s some other company, I just felt like saying that because I was, like, bored. Or something. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/42 "2003-01-25T04:47:26Z")
Oh, I get people calling my personal number and then _asking_ for me. And my name appears on your phone, too. Jeez! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/43 "2003-01-25T05:59:04Z")
They didn’t actually occur this week, but they are chronic and could recur at any time. From students, in quotes; and my imagined but never spoken aloud responses in brackets: “Did I miss anything important?” [Certainly not. I don’t teach anything important. It’s only COLLEGE.] “Do we need to get this textbook?” [Sure, get it. Or don’t get it. It’s the one I’m using for the whole semester, but I really don’t care how you choose to spend your money. It’s your decision. Buy comic books if you like. It makes no difference to me.] ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/44 "2003-01-25T07:23:21Z")
Earlier this week I was asked “What galaxy is Saturn part of?” And if the question itself wasn’t bad enough, the answer took some explaining! ---
**Author:** ![Wildcatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@Wildcatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildcatz)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/45 "2003-01-25T08:48:34Z")
patient: What do you mean putting a nail (as in hardware) through my fingernail caused this infection? me: \ ---
**Author:** ![Wildcatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@Wildcatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildcatz)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/46 "2003-01-25T08:50:19Z")
I just realized…I should add that this patient did this to relieve pressure under the nailbed after he took a hammer to his thumbnail…_5 days ago_…:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/47 "2003-01-25T12:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by THespos \* > \*\*Instant Message sent to me by one of my business partners: > > “Are you online?” \*\* I hate to say this, but why is it stupid? (Does your IM online indicator work well? Was it part of a longer conversation?) ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/48 "2003-01-25T12:59:05Z")
A friend: “Did you realise I live in the only semi [semi-detatched house] in the street?” ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/49 "2003-01-25T14:48:52Z")
[What is the dumbest thing you’ve heard anybody say?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=111513), a great thread I managed to kill by mod. Good to see a new one. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/50 "2003-01-25T19:10:29Z")
Whenever I hand a cashier a $20 to pay for something that costs less than that: “Out of $20?” No, out of the invisible $100 on top of the twenty. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/51 "2003-01-25T19:19:32Z")
Actually, **SpazCat,** I’ve seen that suggested as a good way for the cashier to acknowledge that he/she knows that you have given him/her a $20 bill – for the same reason that it’s a good idea to place the bill on top of the cash drawer until the change has been made. Also, for all the casheir knows you might be planning to dig coins out of your pockets to get back bills as change. It’s a fair question. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/52 "2003-01-25T19:53:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\* It’s a fair question. \*\* It’s a bloody annoying question is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![nostromo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@nostromo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nostromo)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/53 "2003-01-25T20:44:02Z")
walked into a Chinese restaurant once with my (now ex) wife, and the waitress asked me, “table for two?” my response: “No. Table for one thanks; the wife will sit on my shoulders!” _confused look on waitress’s face was priceless…_ ---
**Author:** ![Pencepon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac8455/32.png) [@Pencepon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pencepon)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/54 "2003-01-25T23:24:27Z")
This morning I was making the rounds of garage sales. They all look very much alike: open garage door; driveway full of tables covered with items for sale and boxes full of clothes, kitchen items, etc.; a tarp or two flung out on the driveway and/or lawn with more clothes, toys, books, and more, maybe some more clothes on hangers hanging from the open garage door; a homeowner sitting at a card table in front of a cash box. This particular sale even had a very large cardboard sign displayed at the corner of the driveway, saying “GARAGE SALE!” A man walked up and asked, “Having a garage sale?” ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/55 "2003-01-26T05:28:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nostromo \* > \*\*walked into a Chinese restaurant once with my (now ex) wife, and the waitress asked me, “table for two?” > > \*\* Not a dumb question, maybe you could be having friends join you later??? ---
**Author:** ![Blueapple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Blueapple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blueapple)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/56 "2003-01-26T12:25:49Z")
If it wasn’t for my horse, I woulsn’t have spent that year in college. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![1ofthegulls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/bcef8e/32.png) [@1ofthegulls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1ofthegulls)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/57 "2003-01-26T22:39:44Z")
My neighbor at the top of his lungs this morning, on the street, while asking me about my rash, for the ENTIRE neighborhood to hear: “Are you SURE it isn’t Herpes? I hear it’s hard to diagnose?!” ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/58 "2003-01-26T22:52:36Z")
This wasn’t recent, but it’s a classic goody. To be fair, the classmate is NOT an idiot, she just had a brain-fart (and was ablew to laugh about it later): Q: “What’s that Alfred Hitchock movie – the one with the birds in it?” A: “Uh… _The Birds_?” Q:… :smack: Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![AllShookDown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/59 "2003-01-26T22:59:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*This happens at least once a day, not just this week. > > At work - > > Me: Thank you for calling (company), this is Sarah. How may I help you? > > Caller: Is this (company I just clearly identified)? > > No, it’s some other company, I just felt like saying that because I was, like, bored. Or something. > > :rolleyes: \*\* I know you said “clearly identified” but there were a couple of other posts about this dumb question so I thought I’d say this. Often when I call a company the person answering the phone rattles off the company name so quickly, or has an accent and I’ve been unable to make out what they’ve said, so I ask. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661/60 "2003-01-26T23:14:01Z")
When at school, the teacher said “Write ‘essay’ at the top of your paper.” The guy next to me wrote down “S.A.” Then when I was at college, a friend of mine handed in a paper about the Norweigan playwright, **Henry Gibson**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-dumbest-questions-i-have-heard-this-week/149661.md?page=4)