# The Empire attacks Earth! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2002, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871 "2002-05-08T08:12:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/1 "2002-05-08T08:12:22Z")
What if Earth today was attacked by the Empire? Assume they want conquest and don’t use the Death Star. Go by the movies, not EU. I think Earth would stand a pretty good chance against them. Empire has better technology… however it may not be as affective against solid projectile weapons (like a shell). The Falcon had no trouble getting through the Star Destroyer’s shields in ESB. All it takes is a kamikaze A-Wing, or in our case, an explosive-laden drone. Supersonic jets would be too fast for TIE fighter blasters and turrents. Our radar-guided missles would give us a huge advantage over long distances. SAMs firing at the TIE fighters. Much more accurate than the lasers. Many of the Empire’s ground weapons don’t have indirect or long-range fire capabilities. Tomahawks and batteries miles away would have easy pickings. Stormtroopers’ aim is bad, would get cut down by automatic weapons before they could recalibrate their aim. Stormtroopers’ armor is weak, if it can’t deflect Ewok rocks, bullets should have no problem. Nuclear weapons. Empire doesn’t have the equivalent of that. If a crashed A-wing can take out a super Star Destroyer, imagine what a well-placed nuke could do. ---
**Author:** ![yellow\_peril](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ee7513/32.png) [@yellow\_peril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellow_peril)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/2 "2002-05-08T09:24:45Z")
They have the advantage of strength in superior numbers. If they can rule an entire galaxy, they should have enough man power to overrun one planet. Especially considering our nations are hardly united enough to co-ordinate mass defence properly. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/3 "2002-05-08T10:18:50Z")
Mark Hamill still lives here… they wouldn’t stand a chance. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowWarrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7993a0/32.png) [@ShadowWarrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowWarrior)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/4 "2002-05-08T10:49:23Z")
Also, radar-guided missiles would have (i think) to be programmed with the various TIE-fighter signatures in order to be able to track them - that would take time… possibly time e dont have. Anyway, if the battle looked tough, I think the Empire would be more likely to send in a lone sith to ‘mind-trick’ governments into surrender… ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/5 "2002-05-08T11:30:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShadowWarrior \* > Also, radar-guided missiles would have (i think) to be programmed with the various TIE-fighter signatures in order to be able to track them - that would take time… possibly time e dont have. Nah. If it turns out that TIE fighters don’t reflect radio waves, or don’t emit heat, that would be a problem. Otherwise, there’s no reason why radar-guided or heat-seeking missiles shouldn’t be able to at least get a lock on them. ---
**Author:** ![sghoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@sghoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sghoul)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/6 "2002-05-08T11:41:16Z")
It would be easy. We just hijack an old TIE fighter, and sneak into the main star destroyer. Then, since all intergalactic beings apparently use the apple operating system, we upload a virus, and boom! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/7 "2002-05-08T11:44:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Empire has better technology… however it may not be as affective against solid projectile weapons (like a shell). The Falcon had no trouble getting through the Star Destroyer’s shields in ESB. All it takes is a kamikaze A-Wing, or in our case, an explosive-laden drone. They aren’t terribly consistent, but I think at least some of the time Star Wars-style shields will stop solid objects. In _Return of the Jedi_, the Rebel fighter is able to take out the Super Star Destroyer’s bridge only _after_ someone says “The bridge shields are down! Concentrate all forward batteries…make sure nothing gets through!” In _Star Wars_, I think they mention that the Death Star’s shields have gaps big enough to slip a fighter through between the edges of the shields (though God only knows _why_ this is the case–one reason why Earth would win in Earth vs. the Empire is that it’s an ironclad law of the Star Wars Universe–and of many other fictional universes–that the Good Guys always win, in part due to the elementary blunders of the Bad Guys). Evidently that particular design-flaw has been corrected on the the Death Star II–the Rebs notice the DSII’s remotely-generated shields are still up when a Rebel fighter smacks into them and explodes. So, why didn’t the _Avenger_ bridge crew just laugh and say “Hey, look at this idiot–he’s about to commit suicide on our forward deflector shields?” Like I said, the writers aren’t always that consistent about this sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/8 "2002-05-08T12:15:01Z")
Since our space technology is primitive to the point of embarrassing, the big question is: How are TIEs in atmospheric flight? What would be the effect of ship lasers on our jets (I’d assume devastating)? If I were in charge of the attack, I wouldn’t even scramble the fighters. I’d just sit there and give the US, USSR, and UK capitals and military leadership centers a nice healthy dose of orbital bombardment. How much energy can the SD shields absorb? Would a few dozen megaton ICBM be too much for them? How about several? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/9 "2002-05-08T12:30:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShadowWarrior \* > \*\*I think the Empire would be more likely to send in a lone sith to ‘mind-trick’ governments into surrender… \*\* Al Gore lost, man. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/10 "2002-05-08T12:37:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\* > Al Gore lost, man. \*\* Or so the Supreme Court said. Hey! Wait a minute?. …This post will be sufficient… ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/11 "2002-05-08T14:09:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > \*\*one reason why Earth would win in Earth vs. the Empire is that it’s an ironclad law of the Star Wars Universe–and of many other fictional universes–that the Good Guys always win \*\* Earth is the Good Guys? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/12 "2002-05-08T15:47:52Z")
The Empire would control orbit. We’d lose. Stay in orbit, kill everything else in orbit. Use energy weapons to destroy a city or two and call for surrender. Whoever controls space controls the world. They could hit us and we couldn’t really hit them. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/13 "2002-05-08T15:53:53Z")
I can’t believe I’m the first person to point this out, but the Empire’s superior weapons would be of no value of them because THEY CAN’T AIM. What damned good would all the lasers in the galaxy do them if they can’t hit anything? It’s well established in the films that the only thing a Stormtrooper can hit with any accuracy is a Jawa landship. We don’t have any Jawas, so we’ll be okay. And except for the Death Star superweapon, no Imperial weapon matches the nuke, so we can nuke them in orbit. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/14 "2002-05-08T15:59:59Z")
OK, if we go by the movies, then all this empire/rebellion stuff happened “a long time ago.” If the Empire is still around, they probably have advanced enough to take on even the Enterprise “E” or whatever that ship was in “All Good Things …” with the cool top mounted laser cannon thingy. I’ll shut up now. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/15 "2002-05-08T16:10:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > \*\* > Evidently that particular design-flaw has been corrected on the the Death Star II–the Rebs notice the DSII’s remotely-generated shields are still up when a Rebel fighter smacks into them and explodes. > \*\* \ Only in the book on tape version, and perhaps the novelization. I don’t have a cite, (way too much SW info on the net, google was flooded) but that scene was never in the film version. All the rebel fighters turn in time. Check your videotape. \ ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/16 "2002-05-08T16:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Terminus Est \* > \*\* > Earth is the Good Guys? \*\* That can’t be right, we’re doomed, doomed, DOOMED, i tell you!!! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/17 "2002-05-08T16:37:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\* > > That can’t be right, we’re doomed, doomed, DOOMED, i tell you!!! \*\* Snap out of it, man! Get a grip on yourself. Hoshi and Janeway are on our side. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/18 "2002-05-08T17:30:40Z")
Janeway??? We’re doomed! DOOMED!!! I’ll take Hoshi back to Mars with me, if the Empire attacks Barsoom, they’ll find a virtual rainbow of Martians kicking their White Uniformed Hineys. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/19 "2002-05-08T17:48:41Z")
However, if we do take out their Star Destroyers, then we have big chunks of metal headed for the earth. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871/20 "2002-05-08T18:02:16Z")
I don’t think we’d stand a chance. All they’d have to do is hang out beyond the Moon’s orbit and throw rocks at us 'til we give up- who needs nukes? We _might_ be able to kick some Empire butt in our atmosphere, but we can’t touch 'em outside it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-empire-attacks-earth/107871.md?page=2)