# The End of the World (Mythos-style) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534 "2005-02-17T14:46:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![J8099](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c89c15/32.png) [@J8099](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J8099)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/1 "2005-02-17T14:46:31Z")
So the stars are right, and the Old Ones return. What do you think would happen to the world? (Not humanity. The planet itself.) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/2 "2005-02-17T15:27:10Z")
They make it into a putting green for Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, and their damned entourages. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/3 "2005-02-17T15:46:01Z")
Bacon bits. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/4 "2005-02-17T16:05:25Z")
Once the great old ones return they are not going to attempt to harm a planet directly. They have no beef with celestial bodies, but their very presence will slowly start to untangle the pleasant forgiving reality we’ve all grown to know and love. And big chunks of rock don’t react well to the sudden disappearence of causality and the reversment of time. So the earth will twist and bend and eventually stop “being” in our understanding of the word. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/5 "2005-02-17T18:32:00Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > They make it into a putting green for Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, and their damned entourages. I was under the impression that they were barred from certain golf courses… ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/6 "2005-02-18T02:08:39Z")
The ancient shards of the paroxysms inflicted upon the terrestrial globe during the last infestation are consistently misinterpreted by conventional geologists as evidence of plat techtonics. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/7 "2005-02-18T02:26:08Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > I was under the impression that they were barred from certain golf courses… They were, but this was due to a mistake. The translato took Black Goat Of The Woods as referring to literal color rather than as a metaphor for pure evil. He also mispronounced the ideoglyphs of Cthulhu rendering the name as ‘Shuelman’. Thus, the Old Ones were banned in accordance with the sacred tenets of golf as laid down by Angus Griffin “No blacks, and no Jews.” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/8 "2005-02-18T02:30:35Z")
College kids will flock to join a new movement, “Campus Crusade for Cthulhu.” ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/9 "2005-02-18T02:33:14Z")
Mildew, the like of which none has ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/10 "2005-02-18T02:39:17Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Mildew, the like of which none has ever seen. “It was then I knew that this ancient basement was home to no ordinary mildew. The spongy, black stuff that grew on the dank walls was in fact, fungi from Yuggoth!” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/11 "2005-02-18T12:26:01Z")
The Heartbreak Of Psoriasus. ---
**Author:** ![J8099](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c89c15/32.png) [@J8099](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J8099)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/12 "2005-02-18T19:34:01Z")
I was kinda hoping that this would be an exercise in creativity. Not a place for making jokes. (Although they are funny.) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-end-of-the-world-mythos-style/290534/13 "2005-02-18T19:40:16Z")
You ask about the return of the Old Ones in the OP, and you don’t expect jokes? Why should anything happen to it? What has it done wrong?