# The Entire Population of Arizona is Hereby Invited to Collectively Lick My Balls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548 "2001-11-05T04:43:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![foxfiregrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3da27b/32.png) [@foxfiregrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfiregrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/61 "2001-11-06T02:48:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > What I find stupid and annoying is fans of a “team” that was just created. \*\* Is it just me, or are these arguments rather similar to the newbie rules on this board? Like, you can’t post until you have 50 posts and are therefore no longer are a newbie. You can’t cheer for a team until they been around for 20 years. It’s the same sort of deal, buddy. Arizona has to start somewhere when it comes to fans. I think it’s great that they’ve had so much support, and I was really impressed by how they played in this World Series. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/62 "2001-11-06T03:28:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by foxfiregrrl \* > \*\*Is it just me, or are these arguments rather similar to the newbie rules on this board? Like, you can’t post until you have 50 posts and are therefore no longer are a newbie. You can’t cheer for a team until they been around for 20 years. It’s the same sort of deal, buddy. Arizona has to start somewhere when it comes to fans. \*\* Oh take your meager 7 “posts” to MPSIMS where you belong until you can rack up some serious post count numbers. [sub]Kidding! Don’t beat my ass or anything![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/63 "2001-11-06T03:38:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\*You must not read much. That’s pretty apparent from your reading comprehension skills, but still, it would be nice if you at least tried. > > Ah well. Too dumb for my time. \*\* Let me phrase this in the language of your people **Teh winner is not yuo!** Previously I was assuming, apparently erroneously, that you weren’t just some typically knuckle dragging sports-jerk spoiling for a quick fight. Take it back to talk radio, okay? You, George Will and Jim Rome can spend a nice hour and a half crying in your cups about how all these damn negroes and new teams are wrecking the proud tradition of American sports and the idiot public is just too dumb to appreciate the true glory of bending over for the same seven old school franchises year after year. Shock and horror! Some people **enjoy** seeing new teams. Some people even like it when, and this is the really screwed up part here, their own city gets a team. Sorry if that puts a bug in your mint julep, but them’s the breaks. And it’s a crying shame that they can’t make a good model T any more too. Asshead. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/64 "2001-11-06T03:55:04Z")
Listen you dumb fucking jack-ass, I’ll say this one more time for you: \*\*I don’t give a shit who won I don’t give a shit who won I don’t give a shit who won\*\* (Okay, that’s three times, but sometimes real stupidity takes a jackhammer) Got that, stupid? UNNNNNDERRRRSTTTTTAAAANNNDDDD??? Fuck!! ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/65 "2001-11-06T04:13:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by the boy who so clearly wishes to pick a fight, any fight \* > **I don’t give a shit who won** So you don’t care who won, but you really really can’t stand the people who do have opinions on the subject? Boy, what a piece of shit you are. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/66 "2001-11-06T04:18:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\*Listen you dumb fucking jack-ass, I’ll say this one more time for you: > > \*\*I don’t give a shit who won > > I don’t give a shit who won > > I don’t give a shit who won\*\* > > (Okay, that’s three times, but sometimes real stupidity takes a jackhammer) > > Got that, stupid? UNNNNNDERRRRSTTTTTAAAANNNDDDD??? Fuck!! \*\* I’m sorry, what was that middle part again? Now listen to me you putrid little cumcicle: We don’t care if you care who won! You have said: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by leander_ > And Arizona, what the fuck? All these “fans” going crazy for an expansion team that’s only four years old…great tradition of excellence there in AZ. Bought and paid for. and > [@](#): > > What I find stupid and annoying is fans of a “team” that was just created. If you’re supporting a player, fine. Glad he won. If you’re supporting the great D-backs, then what the fuck? I just think it’s lame. Is that okay with you? The quotes around the words fans and team indicate you don’t think these are real fans or a real team. Regardless of what team you root for, you’ve been asked to clarify these statements. The opposing argument is that doesn’t matter how long a team has been around before that team can have real fans. You’ve been asked more than once how long does a team need to be around before it can have fans by a couple of posters, only to dodge the question by posting something totally irrelevant to the question put to you. You have not answered, you’ve told us you don’t care who won and then started in on the name-calling. Now listen up, cuz I’m going repeat myself in hopes you understand with repition, just like house-breaking a puppy: We don’t care what team you root for, if any. Respond to the fucking questions put to you and clarify your statements, if need be. You made a statement which people are now asking the reasoning behind it. Are you going to answer the other posters or continue to tell us you don’t care who won? Now then, to quote a great asshole I once had the displeasure of interacting with: “Got that, stupid? UNNNNNDERRRRSTTTTTAAAANNNDDDD??? Fuck!!” ---
**Author:** ![foxfiregrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3da27b/32.png) [@foxfiregrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfiregrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/67 "2001-11-06T04:23:06Z")
Screw it. I was gonna reply to **leander** , but, apparently, because I’m a sad little newbie, and **Crunchy Frog** is a special non-newbie, I was unable to type fast enough to get the jump on the idiot. So, yeah. What **Crunchy** said. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/68 "2001-11-06T04:31:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by foxfiregrrl \* > \*\*Screw it. I was gonna reply to **leander** , but, apparently, because I’m a sad little newbie, and **Crunchy Frog** is a special non-newbie, I was unable to type fast enough to get the jump on the idiot. > > So, yeah. What **Crunchy** said. \*\* I’ve heard that once you hit 1000 posts they send you a special keyboard. You can even use it from your car, but then YOU HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/69 "2001-11-06T04:32:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by foxfiregrrl \* > **Screw it. I was gonna reply to leander, but, apparently, because I’m a sad little newbie, and Crunchy Frog is a special non-newbie, I was unable to type fast enough to get the jump on the idiot.** Don’t worry, young grasshopper. You don’t think I racked up 4700+ posts by typing slowly did you? Hell sometimes I don’t even bother to string words together to make a coherent thought: much like **leander’s** showing in this thread. And do you mean special as in snowfall-on-Christmas-morning special, or special as in he-sat-next-to- **leander** -riding-the-short-bus-to-school special? 😉 > [@](#): > > \*\*So, yeah. What **Crunchy** said. \*\* Really? Right down to the “putrid little cumcicle” line? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/70 "2001-11-06T04:34:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \* > \*\*I’ve heard that once you hit 1000 posts they send you a special keyboard. \*\* Actually, most of my posting prowess comes from inventing the [Autopost-A-Matic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82107). Order yours today! ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/71 "2001-11-06T04:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Actually, most of my posting prowess comes from inventing the[Autopost-A-Matic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82107). Order yours today! \*\* Is that anything like the Tug-Ahoy? I probably don’t really want to know. ---
**Author:** ![foxfiregrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3da27b/32.png) [@foxfiregrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfiregrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/72 "2001-11-06T04:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Really? Right down to the “putrid little cumcicle” line? Wow. Well, actually, that’s the line that made me realize I was really way over my head here in the pit, and should probably just get out of here before I say something wrong and get torn to pieces. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/73 "2001-11-06T04:45:23Z")
Well, it is kinda fun to piss off all the drooling neanderthals wetting themselves in anger, but okay, here goes (again, _sigh_): (a) I find it difficult to believe all these joyous emotions for a team that was just created - and brought together entirely from free agents. The “fans” who are falling all over themselves being proud of **AZ** are silly dimwits who have bought into the whole concept of “take me out to the bought game.” “Yeah, Arizona (the state) rocks! We bought ourselves a team!” (b) I don’t know how long a team should be around. And I ain’t gonna quantify cause then I know all you math geniuses will…oh yeah, forget it. (c) I hate schadenfreude. And in re this discussion, I see more of it than actual support for AZ. (d) Crunchy Frog - you’re highly excitable. Did you forget to take your medicine? Careful, or I’ll have to make you my bitch, boy. So, I hope that answers all of your questions. If not, then try a high school or college education - it’s worth it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/74 "2001-11-06T04:57:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\*Well, it is kinda fun to piss off all the drooling neanderthals wetting themselves in anger, but okay, here goes (again, _sigh_): > > (a) I find it difficult to believe all these joyous emotions for a team that was just created - and brought together entirely from free agents. The “fans” who are falling all over themselves being proud of **AZ** are silly dimwits who have bought into the whole concept of “take me out to the bought game.” “Yeah, Arizona (the state) rocks! We bought ourselves a team!” \*\* Argument from incredulity. Check. > [@](#): > > **(b) I don’t know how long a team should be around. And I ain’t gonna quantify cause then I know all you math geniuses will…oh yeah, forget it.** Refusal to define terms. Check. > [@](#): > > **(c) I hate schadenfreude. And in re this discussion, I see more of it than actual support for AZ.** Opponents obviously wrong because of their lack of support for posters own views. Check. > [@](#): > > **(d) Crunchy Frog - you’re highly excitable. Did you forget to take your medicine? Careful, or I’ll have to make you my bitch, boy.** Semi-coherent threats, coupled with presumably amusing questions about the sanity of opponents. Check. > [@](#): > > \*\*So, I hope that answers all of your questions. If not, then try a high school or college education - it’s worth it. 🙂 \*\* Believes all questions answered, despite providing no facts, evidence or clarifications. Check. Ladys and Gentlemen, I give you a Creationist Troll dressed for Haloween as a Baseball Enthusiast. What do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/75 "2001-11-06T04:57:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > **(a) I find it difficult to believe all these joyous emotions for a team that was just created - and brought together entirely from free agents. The “fans” who are falling all over themselves being proud of AZ are silly dimwits who have bought into the whole concept of “take me out to the bought game.” "Yeah, Arizona (the state) rocks! We bought ourselves a team!"** So are you saying AZ citizens have been duped into rooting for this team and it has nothing to do with local pride? What makes you think that, if that is the case. > [@](#): > > **(b) I don’t know how long a team should be around. And I ain’t gonna quantify cause then I know all you math geniuses will…oh yeah, forget it.** Then you shouldn’t have brought it up. If you don’t know how long a team needs to be around, then there’s nothing wrong with a 4 year old team having fans. > [@](#): > > **(c) I hate schadenfreude. And in re this discussion, I see more of it than actual support for AZ.** That’s understandable. I was rooting for the D-Backs cuz: 1. They knocked my Cardinals out of the race and losing to the World Champ is a bit more face-saving. 2. I thought it’s be nice to see the veterans on the D Backs get a ring finally, Mark Grace, Curt Schilling, Matt Williams, etc. > [@](#): > > **(d) Crunchy Frog - you’re highly excitable. Did you forget to take your medicine? Careful, or I’ll have to make you my bitch, boy.** And now you’ve crossed the line and gotten personal. If you want to get personal, then I fully invite you to start another thread and try to make me your bitch, you arrogant fuck. You can start it now if you like and have all night to post things, since I’m leaving work and won’t be online again till tomorrow. Go ahead, fucknugget. I’m giving you a 16 hour head start. I was only responding to your last post in the same manner as you had responded. In your arrogance, you started with the name-calling, attacked others’ reading comprehension skills and acted as if you were the only smart one in the conversation when in fact, _you_ were the one not understanding what the hell the conversation was about. And my post seemed to have _finally_ broken through your titanium like cranium since you _finally_ responded to the issues put to you. > [@](#): > > \*\*So, I hope that answers all of your questions. If not, then try a high school or college education - it’s worth it. 🙂 \*\* I love this line coming from the guy who needed two pages before he even understood what the fucking questions were. What a grade-A asshole. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/76 "2001-11-06T05:00:06Z")
Ha Ha! I can post faster than you, if I only ignore spelling, grammar and the preview function. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/77 "2001-11-06T05:05:32Z")
Name me one major league team that isn’t, as you say, “bought and paid for.” Just one. Basically, it have to be one whose players all came up from the farm system, and who have not yet signed new contracts. Even “home grown” players, once they’ve signed new contracts, are “bought and paid for.” BTW - as I believe I mentioned elsewhere, I supported the DBacks throughout the season and throughout their (admittedly) brief history. So your claim that people aren’t REALLY supporting the DBacks is completely false. The 2 million Phoenicians who are finally celebrating a major sports championship prove it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/78 "2001-11-06T18:09:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jadailey \* > The 2 million Phoenicians who are finally celebrating a major sports championship prove it. When did Carthage get a baseball team? Still, even an expansion team could beat the Rome Senators- “First in War, First in Peace, Last in the Mediterrenean League”. ---
**Author:** ![Fledermaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@Fledermaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fledermaus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548/79 "2001-11-06T18:41:25Z")
As a downtrodden Toronto Blue Jays fan, for years I’ve heard Yankees fans tell me, yes, our team has more money that yours, but that’s the way the system is set up; don’t blame our team for taking advantage of the system. And you know what? They’re abso-fucking-lutely right. The Yankees can make a bajillion dollars on their local TV rights, and they do. They can plow the money back into free agents, the minor league system, the draft, their management–and they do. Teams like the Baltimore Orioles have conclusively shown that money != wins. Teams like the Oakland Athletics have shown that skill in evaluating talent = wins. What the Yankees have is BOTH–they spend the money, and they do a great job at evaluating and keeping their talent. They system allows them to do it, and they take advantage of it with no apologies. The Diamondbacks have done the same thing. Historically, expansion teams in baseball suck. They suck long, and they suck hard, for years and years. 100-loss type of suckage, for many years. However, the modern game allows expansion teams an advantage never present during previous expansions–wide-spread free agency. What Diamondbacks management decided was that fans embrace a winner. Because of free agency, they didn’t have to put a crappy team on the field for the next ten years, waiting for the farm system to develop more talented players than the dreck available in the expansion draft. In short, the system offered them an advantage to waiting for their own players to develop, and they took advantage of it. To sum up: Yankees defeated by free-agent driven Diamondbacks = team beaten at their own game. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-entire-population-of-arizona-is-hereby-invited-to-collectively-lick-my-balls/91548.md?page=3)