Lighten up, people ! … "
- Joan of Arc’ s proposed epitaph for herself
Good heavens ! I can’t believe it ! Charlotte was literally killed by god from the machine ! …" “
Humbert Humbert
Liliputins
Playing with words as with glas beads
In-the-mouth-put-ins or liliputins ( miniputins, mouthputins or несказаницы ) in short are a brand- new cutting edge direction in modern comedy, parody and mockery solely created, coined and penned by me. I’m deliberatly, willfully and literally putting in the mouths of the great characters in history and fictional protagonists of all epoques and countries dead or alive the made-up words or real ( or twisted) quotations , which they never have said, but might have. To make a long story short, liliputins are my own creations in form of one line aphorisms, maxims, mini tales, jokes or quips with some degree of truth in it, which I attribute ( misattribute ) to others in order to make a point. It is completely up to the readers’s level of knowledge, intelligence and believes to sort out truth from fiction . Liliputins allow to put on the collision course the present and the past, the alive and the dead, things and humans, dead serious and ridicule, real and made up. Liliputins are contemporary, old fashioned, satiric, ironic, thought- provoking, mind-boggling, hilarious, sad, mean, kind, shocking, outrageous, flattering, highly controversial, but never boring and always eye-opening and short as the life itself.
'I the US- citizens will sleep on their rights the US. President will sleep on his job … "
Martin Luther King
I couldn’t find that one on a quick googling, but did find one that attributed the quote to Dumbledore instead of Kirk. I don’t know if that makes it funnier or less funny (someone could in theory legitimately mistake Gandalf for Dumbledore, after all) but in the end, it’s funny, so who cares.
Another common version I’ve seen is to conflate Han Solo and Malcolm Reynolds. To be fair, Mal Reynolds is basically a Whedonverse expy of Han Solo in every way that matters.
Owns a bucket of bolts, wouldn’t trade her for the universe
Smuggler
Scoundrel with a heart of gold
Wookiee 2nd in command
yep, it all fits!
Misread as: The ethics of deliberate masturbation
Is there another kind?
Written by Ayn Rand.
In Mal’s case, the wookie had been turned into two characters (Zoe and Jayne), but otherwise, pretty much.
In order to unscramble some eggs the leader gotta have some balls … "
Margaret Thatcher
You cannot make an omelet without breaking some balls … "
Margaret Thatcher
Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs … "
Margaret Thatcher
I can’t help to spit nails when just thinking about Trade Unions … "
Margaret Thatcher
Socialism lays an bad egg by killing the capitalism that lays the golden eggs … "
Margaret Thatcher
Socialism is in no way a curate’s egg … "
Margaret Thatcher
Occupied Falklands are the thorn in my balls … "
Margaret Thatcher
I’m either the witch or Lady Macbeth of English politics, but someone gotta wear the pants in England when others wearing kilts … "
Margaret Thatcher
I’m happy as a dog with two dicks … "
Margaret Thatcher on June 14. 1982
Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina … "
Margaret Thatcher on April 8. 2013
I hope I didn’t over-egged the pudding … "
Margaret Thatcher’s proposed epitaph to herself
You gotta have some balls to be a female PM in England … "
Winston Churchill
When it comes to saving England, Maggy is Ball’s Deep … "
Denis Thatcher
The Iron Lady is also the single biggest widowmaker in Argentine’s history … "
General Belgrano’s captain, Hector Bonzo
Gotcha ! … "
people of Argentina on April 8. 2013
Liliputins. What the hell is this ?
http://www.stihi.ru/2012/08/18/5368