# The EU Prevention of and Fight against Crime Programme is a bunch of fishy twats **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876 "2012-09-26T13:14:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/1 "2012-09-26T13:14:07Z")
Here is their €400,000 preliminary recommendations on how to combat Internet Terrorism: > [@](#): > > - “Knowingly providing hyperlinks on websites to terrorist content must be defined by law as illegal just like the terrorist content itself” > > - “Governments must disseminate lists of illegal, terrorist websites” > > - “The Council Regulation (EC) No 881/2002 of 27 May 2002 (art 1.2) should be explained that providing Internet services is included in providing economics instruments to Al Qaeda (and other terrorist persons and organisations designated by the EU) and therefore an illegal act” > > - “On Voice over IP services it must be possible to flag users for terrorist activity.” > > - “Internet companies must allow only real, common names.” > > - “Social media companies must allow only real pictures of users.” > > - “At the European level a browser or operating system based reporting button must be developed.” > > - “Governments will start drafting legislation that will make offering… a system [to monitor Internet activity] to Internet users obligatory for browser or operating systems…as a condition of selling their products in this country or the European Union.” [EU proposal to stop terrorist sites even more ridiculous than it sounds](http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2012/09/proposed-eu-plan-to-stop-terrorist-sites-even-more-ridiculous-than-thought/) - no funny pictures or cat picture on Facebook, a direct police browser button, and comprehensive surveillance system. And what the fuck is “Internet companies must allow only real, common names” supposed to mean? That you can only register as a user on internet sites with real, common names? Or something more retarded? €400,000 for such a bunch of stupidity. The only saving grace of the whole idiotic (although expensive) mess is the stupid twat But Klaasen (sic) who appears completely confounded that he can’t trust people. “Why can’t I trust people?” says the guy in charge of counterterrorism and security. D’oh. Well he could start by trusting the citizens that he wish to subject to a tyranny of legislation and surveillance. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/2 "2012-09-26T13:20:21Z")
If it makes you feel any better, our politicians [don’t understand the Internet](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Series_of_tubes) either. And, for what it’s worth, that’s a really, really stupid list of ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/3 "2012-09-26T14:32:08Z")
“Terrorists must register their intention to commit a terrorist act no less than three months in advance, and must further click on a button confirming that they ‘really really no-fooling promise’ that they’re telling the truth.” ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/4 "2012-09-26T14:44:45Z")
I’m not looking forward to reTERRA, the system where you have to prove that you’re not a terrorist twice, once with an answer to a real quesiton and once with an answer to a randomly selected quesiton that people will later decide whether or not is a valid means of determining that you’re a terrorist. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/5 "2012-09-26T14:53:12Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > “Terrorists must register their intention to commit a terrorist act no less than three months in advance, and must further click on a button confirming that they ‘really really no-fooling promise’ that they’re telling the truth.” Attempting to sabotage the counter-terrorism department paperwork squad? All anthrax must be inspected at the derpartment of biological weaponry and approved by the office of international terrorism. Quantities larger than 25mg… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/6 "2012-09-26T21:40:05Z")
I could have given that list for €10. For a few thousand more, I’ll even give them some good ideas. I’ll throw in one for free. Rule Number 1 in fighting internet terrorists – don’t tell internet terrorists how you’re going to fight them. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/7 "2012-09-27T12:25:37Z")
> [@EU idiots](#): > > “Knowingly providing hyperlinks on websites to terrorist content must be defined by law as illegal just like the terrorist content itself” > > - “Governments must disseminate lists of illegal, terrorist websites” So will there be a website I can look at to see the hyperlinks I’m not supposed to use? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/8 "2012-09-27T12:32:33Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > I’m not looking forward to reTERRA, the system where you have to prove that you’re not a terrorist twice, once with an answer to a real quesiton and once with an answer to a randomly selected quesiton that people will later decide whether or not is a valid means of determining that you’re a terrorist. _And_ a captcha. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/9 "2012-09-27T12:38:14Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > _And_ a captcha. Ahhhh - I can’t tell if the system is rejecting me because I’m a terrorist or because I can’t read that stupid upside down greek letter in italics with a line through it that was scanned from a notebook that had coffee spilled on it. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/10 "2012-09-27T12:50:02Z")
What the heck is a “terrorist website”? If you go there, do you get threatened with being blown up or something? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/11 "2012-09-27T13:42:51Z")
It’s one whose servers are located in a van full of C-4, I think. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/12 "2012-09-27T19:30:00Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I could have given that list for €10. For a few thousand more, I’ll even give them some good ideas. This is the government. You should probably look for another buyer. The most terrorized I have ever been by a website is from one of those gotcha images that gets loud and scary after about 30 seconds. I have no objection to such links being punished to excess. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/13 "2012-09-27T19:58:45Z")
Did you even read the article? These items are the most ridiculous ones cherry-picked from a rough brainstorming list in which every possible idea was recorded, regardless of feasibility or legality. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/14 "2012-09-27T23:51:24Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > Did you even read the article? These items are the most ridiculous ones cherry-picked from a rough brainstorming list in which every possible idea was recorded, regardless of feasibility or legality. Maybe. And maybe Mr. Klaasen is reacting to public outcry. However, I would have called Rune a douche for describing an unpublished draft document as the programme’s “recommendations” had I actually read the article. _Mea culpa_. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/15 "2012-09-28T21:29:28Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > What the heck is a “terrorist website”? Goatse comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/16 "2012-09-28T23:45:39Z")
[QUOTE=Rune’s link] - “Internet companies must allow only real, common names.” [/QUOTE] I am a native English speaker. I assume my Scottish and Welsh customers are also, though evidence is sometimes lacking. However, the people who first wrote Gaelic names in Roman letters knew little which sounds were associated with which letters and lacked any consistency when they wrote them down, so real, common names can have many spellings, each more imaginative than the last. Does the EU plan to set standard spellings on real, common names so I don’t end up realizing _after_ the call that the guy I could not understand was named “Alan?” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/17 "2012-09-29T03:02:58Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > Did you even read the article? These items are the most ridiculous ones cherry-picked from a rough brainstorming list in which every possible idea was recorded, regardless of feasibility or legality. The fact that some of these were brought up even in a brainstorming session strongly suggests that some participants in that session should not be allowed near any decision-making process more critical than choosing which crayon to use. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/18 "2012-09-30T13:52:46Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I am a native English speaker. I assume my Scottish and Welsh customers are also, though evidence is sometimes lacking. However, the people who first wrote Gaelic names in Roman letters knew little which sounds were associated with which letters and lacked any consistency when they wrote them down, so real, common names can have many spellings, each more imaginative than the last. Does the EU plan to set standard spellings on real, common names so I don’t end up realizing _after_ the call that the guy I could not understand was named “Alan?” I assume that just means names people are commonly known by, rather than “dropzone” or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/19 "2012-10-01T15:14:07Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I assume that just means names people are commonly known by, rather than “dropzone” or whatever. The name I am commonly known by, the name in my Driver’s License, the name in my Spanish national ID, the name listed in my Birth Certificate are all different. Which one is my real name? And by the way, facebook (which claims to only accept “real names” and I guess is what the person proposing that had in mind) would not accept any of the above. Too many words. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876/20 "2012-10-01T16:27:09Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Which one is my real name? They’re all real names. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-eu-prevention-of-and-fight-against-crime-programme-is-a-bunch-of-fishy-twats/635876.md?page=2)