# The ever-lovely, perpetually fucked-up Anna Nicole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094 "2002-08-15T21:31:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/21 "2002-08-16T14:07:27Z")
I’ve tried to watch her show twice. I just can’t do it. Marcie walked away about two minutes into the first one, muttering something about “pathetic.” I held out for ten minutes the first time and maybe three the second. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/22 "2002-08-16T17:35:57Z")
Can this be? The seven-headed dragon is truly upon us. Repent! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/23 "2002-08-16T17:58:17Z")
Wow… it’s like watching a really bad car crash. With lots of makeup. ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/24 "2002-08-16T17:58:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\ ***scott** , I’m starting to wonder if perhaps you have a novelty crush on Anna Nicole-you’re always talking about her! \*\* 😃 Now that’s funny! **scotty** and Anna, Sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/25 "2002-08-16T18:46:48Z")
Good grief. I’d not seen her in awhile. Remember back when she was actually kinda nice to look at? Me either. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/26 "2002-08-16T19:14:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*I hope you all know that this footage will be used by the aliens to justify wiping us all out. \*\* I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/27 "2002-08-16T19:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > **Good grief. I’d not seen her in awhile. Remember back when she was actually kinda nice to look at?** A friend of mine used to have [this tasty poster](http://www.scutty.co.uk/women/anna-nicole-smith.jpg) of her in his room, back in college. If I recall correctly, it was an ad for the Hennis and Mauritz chain. Apparently, my college days are a long, long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![JocoseBanter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ab992/32.png) [@JocoseBanter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JocoseBanter)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/28 "2002-08-16T20:06:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords! \*\* Thanks **Tuckerfan** it’s nice to be here. We’re not too big into the whole overlord thing though. Just a bunch of laid back conquerers really. But since you’ve been so nice, I’ll make sure you’re put on the protected rolls. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/29 "2002-08-16T20:24:19Z")
Ok, I’m confused. (I don’t have cable). What’s the point of this show? The woman gets loaded and a camera follows her around waiting for her to vomit on herself? And that’s entertaining? And people say I weird for reading so many books… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/30 "2002-08-16T20:24:30Z")
Ok, I’m confused. (I don’t have cable). What’s the point of this show? The woman gets loaded and a camera follows her around waiting for her to vomit on herself? And that’s entertaining? And people say I’m weird for reading so many books… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/31 "2002-08-17T13:46:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*…What’s the point of this show?..And that’s entertaining?.. \*\* The point? E! has found a “celebrity” willing to sacrifice what’s left of their self-esteem for some air time. Entertaining? As much as a busload of children off a cliff. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/32 "2002-08-17T16:37:44Z")
Good lord… The clips **scott e.** linked to remind me of the scenes from COPS or Trauma when they’d come across someoen drunk or stoned out of his skull. The police or doctors would keep repeating the same question while stoner just keeps babbling “I’m… not… I need my… where’s the sheep?..I’m…candy?” I say we give **Homer** some 'shrooms again and film that. It has to be better than this mess. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/33 "2002-08-17T17:03:10Z")
She is a mess in a dress. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2002, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/34 "2002-08-17T21:08:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peasea \* > **As someone who doesn’t have E! and is finally seeing this for the first time, just let me say, ‘Holy shit!’ She is one messed up little caba…can…canabana girl.** Never mind how to spell it, **peasea**. There’s a shorter word beginning with “c” that says it better and is easier to spell. > [@](#): > > \*originally posted by gatopescado \* > \*\*Next stop for Anna: Low-budget porn, then “behind-the-dumpster” blow-jobs, then tragicly found dead in the trunk of a stolen car. > > I figure about 2 years for this all to come to pass. Any takers? \*\* Are you sure she didn’t _ **start** _ with “behind-the-dumpster” blow-jobs? Anyway, I wouldn’t take that bet. What I don’t understand is why anyone _wants_ to watch this doped-out-of-her-mind, dead from-the-neck-up, disgusting-from-the-scalp-down gold-digging slut in the first place. Why is the self-degradation of anyone entertaining? Eeeew! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/35 "2002-08-18T06:09:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*She’s Bill the Cat incarnate! \*\* Oddly enough, “Acckkk, tthhhpbppbptt!!” sums up my reaction to those clips quite nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/36 "2002-08-18T19:27:28Z")
I think we are on the cusp of a new phenomenon. Take, for example, my housemate, a fine example of modern America as I fear it. He is my friend, but he is also as sharp as a bag of ball-bearings with the taste of a dung beetle (yeah, I’m a little pissed at him right now–give me some space to rant here). I came home the other night to find him laughing out loud at _Dude, Where’s My Car?_ Just like the title character from _Encino Man_ (which he also was watching intently this week) my pal is having some problems adjusting to the post-Neolithic era. He is unemployed, has a psycho girlfriend, and is too unmotivated to smoke cigarettes outside of the house, but not too shy to mention that cigar smoke is worse, the prick. So what entertains this enigmatic fellow? Crap. Utter shite. If there was such a thing as the Step-on-a-Rake Channel, my television would never again display black-and-white or subtitles, 'cause the motherfucker I live with would have a beer truck backed up to the window and a year’s supply of Depends stacked next to the couch. I believe I am personal witness to the dawning of a new era: that of the lower-than-lowest-common-denominator. It seems as if when people want to escape these days, they don’t want to empathize with what they see, or admire it. They want to feel _superior_ to it. And since even a poor friend and disingenuous snob like me has a hard time feeling superior to anything anyone else has actually created and displayed, one must delve into the very latrine which is _underneath_ the bottom of the barrel in order to please–or hypnotically revolt–everyone. Okay, I admit it. _I watch this shit too!_ I have been flushed into the swirling vortex of shit television. I sit around and drink beer with my roomie and read, but I’m also watching. I watch it because it pisses me off, and for some reason which I wish I could explain, I like it. **I, too, am a craphound**. My pal just has a better developed nose for it, and a black-belt level of tolerance for it as well. _Sigh_. I feel a little better now. I know I’m a dick, and I know what this rant is really about is jealousy. But God damn it, if I have to see someone actually taking positive pleasure from another Pauly Shore film, I’m going to fucking explode! It’s just not fair that I cannot be so easily entertained. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/37 "2002-08-18T23:58:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Step-on-a-Rake Channel OK, now I would watch THAT. Awwww YEAH! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/38 "2002-08-19T00:23:00Z")
She was on Jay Leno Friday night. The whole interview made me cringe. She’s not only vacuous, she’s _boring_. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/39 "2002-08-19T04:57:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Ok, I’m confused. (I don’t have cable). What’s the point of this show? \*\* This show was the only thing Anna was qualified for. She tried to get a job managing some trailer park, but sadly wasn’t smart enough. The only other job she could get was to walk around the house and let someone follow her around with a camera. It isn’t much, but it’s that or welfare (cough-next season-cough). ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094/40 "2002-08-19T16:10:16Z")
ummmm, wait just a sec there Gentlemen, What we’re talking about here is a slightly overweight ex-stripper who recently won a settlement in the ballpark of **100 million dollars** who has breasts that are each the size of my head. I also think we’d all agree here that, if there’s one talent this woman has, one thing she can probably execute flawlessly even under the influence of whatever she’s on, the woman could probably orally de-chrome a trailer hitch without too much effort. Let’s be honest, she got where she is 'cause she knows her way around a dick. I could think of worse fates. Annie baby, you’re welcome at casa //\etalhea|) anytime! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ever-lovely-perpetually-fucked-up-anna-nicole/124094.md?page=1)