# The Evil "Ex" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 27, 2021, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429 "2021-07-27T15:30:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/1 "2021-07-27T15:30:00Z")
Since COVID-19, all student registration is done on line via technology, so it therefore falls within the purview of the district Help Desk to render all kinds of assistance in that regard. I could go on and on about the many different kinds of problems that arise. This morning, however, I ran into a problem I had never experienced before, and one of a very sinister nature. A mother called complaining that she was able to sign into her parent account without any problem, but that she couldn’t register her child or access any of his data. After exhausting the several innocent possibilities, she mentioned, “I can’t understand why I see his father’s name at the top of the main page. He has no custody or rights.” Turns out that he hijacked her account and took control of it, and disabled her ability to access any data. He gave her a dummy email address so that she was actually signing into what had become HIS control account without realizing it while again, without realizing it, had no parental controls. I had to track all of this down in the system. I deleted him, and reset her original account so that only she can access and control it. I had to make a notation in the system that the father was persona non grata. Any attempt on his part to access his child in our system using his name as the father will trip a flag. Wow. She mentioned other things he has done. I am scared for this mother and told her to be careful. I’m a mandated reporter, and if he trips that flag, I’m going to report it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/2 "2021-07-27T19:11:35Z")
At least in some states, that’s potentially a felony. For example, [the California “hacking” law](https://www.bayarea-attorney.com/unauthorized-computer-access-otherwise-known-as-hacking): > 1. Knowingly accesses and without permission alters, damages, deletes, destroys, or otherwise uses any data or computer system to: > 2. Execute a scheme to defraud or extort a victim OR > 3. Wrongfully control or obtain money, property or data. It might be a Federal crime as well. Though the California one is more explicit about “wrongfully control… data”, which is happening here. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/3 "2021-07-27T19:25:26Z")
Jasmine, you should report this anyway, since it involves a minor, and a parent who lost his rights. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/4 "2021-07-27T19:51:36Z")
And confirm that the rights/custody arrangement is legally as mom reported it. Could be the other way around, right? ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/5 "2021-07-27T20:09:02Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I’m a mandated reporter, and if he trips that flag, I’m going to report it. Sounds to me like he has already tripped that flag. The mother should notify the school that he attempted this and make it clear that he has no parental rights so he can’t show up in person and pull him out of school. I’m a mandatory reporter too. I think it’s better to report when not needed than to not report when it would end up protecting a child and family. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2021, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/6 "2021-07-27T23:10:57Z")
That’s not impossible either, but I say report it, and let the authorities sort it out. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/7 "2021-07-28T00:13:39Z")
I have no argument with that. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/8 "2021-07-28T01:31:57Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > That’s not impossible either, but I say report it, and let the authorities sort it out. Yes. Sometimes things are much more complicated. It seems like there is an extensive history that the authorities can straighten out. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/9 "2021-07-28T01:37:33Z")
Yes. While it may be likely that the mom is telling the truth, who knows what the heck the truth actually is. I personally would not have done anything until I was absolutely sure one way or another. That doesn’t sound like something the OP should have to make the call on. I’d ascertain from a neutral party who is supposed to have access to the account. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/10 "2021-07-28T01:45:15Z")
That would be the best course of action. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/11 "2021-07-28T11:19:41Z")
Good thoughts, and thanks to all. I wrote up an “Incident Report” that was in great detail and submitted it electronically. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/12 "2021-07-28T11:36:26Z")
Good post, but the issue is significantly clouded for two reasons: 1. Before their split, he was legally listed as a contact of the child and was legally in our system. 2. The mom never contacted us to tell us about her current situation and the court’s decision regarding custody, etc. Now, after the changes I made to her data and the formal alert I created, it is no longer a clouded situation. Any attempt now would be a clear cut intrusion. You’d be surprised at what parents do NOT tell us about things we need to know to safeguard their children. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/13 "2021-07-28T11:42:18Z")
Wouldn’t you need proof that custody had changed before unclouding the situation? What’s your district’s policy on restricting parental access- I imagine some documentation is needed? ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2021, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-evil-ex/947429/14 "2021-07-28T13:01:37Z")
Oh, yes, because we are legally responsible for everything we do. Parents generally report these things, submit forms, etc, to the main office, not to the technology department, which is as it should be. It is our responsibility to have good horizontal communication between departments, and we’ve had problems with that all along. Our main office staff are all rookies hired this past spring, and they dropped the ball on this. In fact, I called them to verify the situation, and their response began with, “Oh, yeah, …” Not good. Adjustments are being made so that this doesn’t happen again.