# The Fabulous Year-end Holiday Double Entendre thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014 "2004-12-21T18:53:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/21 "2004-12-22T05:17:50Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Care for some figgy pudding? No, I’m a straight guy, so I don’t like to eat anything fruity. Why does Santa Claus smoke a pipe? ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/22 "2004-12-22T14:27:33Z")
Why does Santa Claus smoke a pipe? [/QUOTE] To relax after laying same. I see something in the corner, tied up with ribbons. Wonder what it can be? ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/23 "2004-12-22T23:26:48Z")
Don’t mind the Gimp, he’ll be quiet as a mouse, 'til he hears the Safe word. So, Who’s for Fruitcake? ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/24 "2004-12-23T00:13:12Z")
> [@The Sonoran Lizard King](#): > > Don’t mind the Gimp, he’ll be quiet as a mouse, 'til he hears the Safe word. > > So, Who’s for Fruitcake? Count me in! My favorite part of a fruitcake is the nuts. I seem to have misplaced my yule log! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/25 "2004-12-23T00:29:37Z")
I seem to have misplaced my yule log! [/QUOTE] It’s lodged in that big crack next to the fireplace[can this serve double duty?] If not, then:Is it time to whip up that stuff in the punch bowl? ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/26 "2004-12-23T01:47:12Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > It’s lodged in that big crack next to the fireplace[can this serve double duty?] Grampa!! Get a room! > [@](#): > > Is it time to whip up that stuff in the punch bowl? Whip it, stuff it, suck it and lick the bowl clean, baby! I’d like to get some holly from the bush next door. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/27 "2004-12-23T02:02:53Z")
> [@Earthworm Jim](#): > > I’d like to get some holly from the bush next door. I’d like to get some bush from Holly next door. I wish for peace on Earth, and goodwill towards men. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/28 "2004-12-23T04:31:07Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > I wish for peace on Earth, and goodwill towards men. I’ll be giving goodwill to any man I can find this season. So, what will you be doing with your relatives? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/29 "2004-12-23T06:03:30Z")
(Oooh. **Quinn** , you’re _evil_.) I’ll be doing some people, but not with my relatives… I wonder who’s coming down the chimney? ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/30 "2004-12-23T06:13:17Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I wonder who’s coming down the chimney? And have you ever seen then come so fast? What did you use to stuff the turkey this year? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/31 "2004-12-23T10:07:28Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > What did you use to stuff the turkey this year? A nine inch strap-on. But I’ve told you, I’m the only one whose allowed to call him “turkey”. Have you put up you tree yet? ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/32 "2004-12-23T11:29:49Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Have you put up you tree yet? oops, no. I’ve been too busy erecting other things. Hey, do I hear reindeer on the roof? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/33 "2004-12-23T22:16:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey, do I hear reindeer on the roof? I don’t know, but there’s a nice little ass warming by the fire. The cat went crazy and destroyed the nativity scene! ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/34 "2004-12-23T22:23:01Z")
Your pussy makes the Baby Jesus cry. Santa put coal in my stocking. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/35 "2004-12-23T22:36:37Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > Santa put coal in my stocking. That what you get, you naughty devil you. Turkey, ham, or roast beef? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/36 "2004-12-23T23:15:09Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Turkey, ham, or roast beef? I’ll slam the ham, but I’m always ready to have my beef roasted. Do you hear what I hear? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/37 "2004-12-23T23:33:22Z")
Yes, and if it weren’t the holidays, I’d be offended. Ho, Ho, Ho. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/38 "2004-12-23T23:52:40Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > \ > Ho, Ho, Ho. But enough about your relatives. Here’s some gold, frankincense and myrrh. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/39 "2004-12-24T00:34:37Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Here’s some gold, frankincense and myrrh. Remember kids, you can never have **too much** lube. Better get to bed early, or Santa won’t come this year ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014/40 "2004-12-24T00:56:47Z")
> [@Earthworm Jim](#): > > Better get to bed early, or Santa won’t come this year But we’re still resolving the lawsuits from the last time he came! How will we get rid of the tree? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fabulous-year-end-holiday-double-entendre-thread/281014.md?page=3)