# The Fairytale of New York (The Pogues) -- need a new lyric! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 4, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515 "2013-12-04T21:42:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/1 "2013-12-04T21:42:10Z")
Hey y’all, I’m singing The Fairytale of New York with some friends for a work-related Christmas celebration, but there’s one line that needs a changin’. So I thought I’d turn to the collective creative mind of the SDMB for some help! Here’s the song: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8) Here’s the line in question: _You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot…_ We’ve decided that “faggot” is a little too harsh (but we’re keeping in “slut” and “arse”!) so I need to find a way to replace it, like… _You scumbag, you bastard, you’re always so plastered…_ The new line must be an insult of sorts, and must rhyme. GO! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/2 "2013-12-04T21:52:56Z")
You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap, lousy [Daggit](http://www.blogcdn.com/www.engadget.com/media/2008/02/muffitii-battlestar.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![pseudograph](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pseudograph/32/19768_2.png) [@pseudograph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudograph)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/3 "2013-12-05T03:13:19Z")
You scumbag, you wanker, you festering canker. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/4 "2013-12-05T03:38:15Z")
If you don’t want to sing that word, sing a different song. It’s supposed to be offensive, and to bowdlerise it misses the point of the song. It’s not a happy, cheery one. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/5 "2013-12-05T05:11:45Z")
You can suck all our dicks, you big bundle of sticks. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/6 "2013-12-05T06:44:50Z")
This reminds me of the time I encountered a guy doing a cheerful upbeat version of Stan Rogers’ “Northwest Passage”. “Seeking gold and glory, leaving broken weathered bones, and a long forgotten lonely cairn of stones, _allright, yeah_”! ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/7 "2013-12-05T07:42:59Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > If you don’t want to sing that word, sing a different song. It’s supposed to be offensive, and to bowdlerise it misses the point of the song. It’s not a happy, cheery one. I have to agree. If you are going to sing the Fairytale of New York, then fucking sing the Fairytale of New York. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/8 "2013-12-05T08:00:10Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > If you don’t want to sing that word, sing a different song. > [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > I have to agree. If you are going to sing the Fairytale of New York, then fucking sing the Fairytale of New York. I agree with **Steophan** and **Dag Otto** , but I’ll point out that your group certainly isn’t the first to want to do a bowdlerised version of this song. There already exist plenty of recorded and released covers of this song with that lyric changed. I remember almost vomitting once to a version that used the line: > [@](#): > > You scumbag, you maggot, you’re cheap and you’re haggard If you’d like to incite vomitting, you may want to use that lyric. At least when people hate it you can claim no authorship and cite that there have been versions of the song released with that lyric. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/9 "2013-12-05T08:14:31Z")
Yeah Ronan Keating did that version. _Shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/10 "2013-12-05T13:26:49Z")
I came in to mention the “haggard” variant. Sing it as is, with a pause at that line to include an auditory footnote. "You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot used in this instance as an Irish perjorative meaning a burdensome, worthless person Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it’s our last…" ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/11 "2013-12-05T15:50:18Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > If you don’t want to sing that word, sing a different song. It’s supposed to be offensive, and to bowdlerise it misses the point of the song. It’s not a happy, cheery one. I think it was last Holiday Season that I started a thread that many, many (mostly European) people think this is a happy, festive and hopeful Christmas song. These people are, of course, crazy. No offense Europe. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/12 "2013-12-05T15:56:09Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I think it was last Holiday Season that I started a thread that many, many (mostly European) people think this is a happy, festive and hopeful Christmas song. These people are, of course, crazy. No offense Europe. As a European, none taken, it’s certainly true. It has an upbeat _tune_, and most people don’t really listen beyond that. MacGowan’s voice probably doesn’t help that! ---
**Author:** ![Slade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Slade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slade)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/13 "2013-12-05T16:32:01Z")
Either do the song as it’s written or don’t do it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/14 "2013-12-05T19:57:50Z")
You need at least keep to the true spirit of the original verse You scum bag You dildo You cheap lousy crack ho’ Happy Christmas your arse I pray God It’s our last ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/15 "2013-12-05T21:44:41Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > As a European, none taken, it’s certainly true. It has an upbeat _tune_, and most people don’t really listen beyond that. MacGowan’s voice probably doesn’t help that! But he built his dreams around her! It’s a love-song really _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/16 "2013-12-05T21:53:39Z")
Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. For the record, we’re definitely not trying to make the song a happy, cheerful one – we just don’t want to offend one of our many gay employees by using a term that, in the US at least, is extremely offensive. Especially for people who’ve never heard the song before! And I totally consider this to be a love song. A dramatic, drunken mess of a love song, but a love song nonetheless. _swoon_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/17 "2013-12-05T22:36:14Z")
> [@smaje1](#): > > Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. For the record, we’re definitely not trying to make the song a happy, cheerful one – we just don’t want to offend one of our many gay employees by using a term that, in the US at least, is extremely offensive. Especially for people who’ve never heard the song before! Any chance you could get one of the openly gay guys in the office to sing that particular lyric for you? ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/18 "2013-12-05T23:27:07Z")
Someone playing an instrument for our performance just suggested “cheap lousy braggart,” which works pretty well! **Miller** , I do know of one co-worker who probably would belt that word out flamboyantly! But to be safe, I think we’ll go with “braggart.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/19 "2013-12-05T23:27:31Z")
Is slut not kinda offensive too? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515/20 "2013-12-05T23:35:31Z")
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps. Now get all these monkey loving snakes off my Monday to Friday plane. Yipee ki-yayy Mr. Falcon [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fairytale-of-new-york-the-pogues-need-a-new-lyric/675515.md?page=2)