# The Fall Of The House Of Sequential Threads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806 "2013-09-02T15:33:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/621 "2013-11-28T01:10:33Z")
\*\* How fat do you have to be to float withot effort? What Is “Freight on Board”?\*\* You know, if you want to date overweight women there are lots better pickup lines. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/622 "2013-11-28T05:37:42Z")
**So…I got fired today I haven’t had sex in three years** Well, maybe that prostitute gig just wasn’t your thing. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/623 "2013-11-28T11:11:19Z")
\*\*Good jokes you’ve heard recently I haven’t had sex in three years \*\* Bwaaa! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/624 "2013-11-28T15:21:35Z")
**What completely normal situations get your goat? Damn relatives.** ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/625 "2013-11-28T15:53:48Z")
\*\* What’s the stupidest thing Google has recommended to you? The Two-Fisted Heroes’ Guide to Time Travel\*\* Yes, but it’ll be a collectors’ item in 2525. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/626 "2013-11-28T17:04:42Z")
\*\*Damn relatives. I haven’t had sex in three years \*\* Well, you’d probably have more options if you considered dating someone who’s not your cousin. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/627 "2013-11-28T17:34:41Z")
\*\*3 women freed after 30 years as captives in the UK Damn relatives. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/628 "2013-11-28T17:48:24Z")
**I haven’t had sex in three years Not everyone wants to “celebrate” Thanksgiving** But after three years, that turkey is looking attractive… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/629 "2013-11-29T07:21:17Z")
**Sit on Santa’s lap… I haven’t had sex in three years** Security! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/630 "2013-11-29T21:20:09Z")
\*\* What do you want for Christmas? PC Replacement: Need Answer Fast\*\* “Thank you for calling Santa’s North Pole Hotline. Please listen closely, as our options have changed. Dial 1 for returns. Dial 2 for complaints about elves. Dial 3 to order the 2014 Mrs. Santa Penthouse Calendar. Dial 4 for details about the class action lawsuit over reindeer roof damage. Dial 5 for this year’s gift requests. Dial 6 to find out what happened to last year’s gift requests. Please continue holding, your business is very important to us.” ♪ ♬ _Have a holly jolly Xmas_ ♫ ♭ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/631 "2013-11-29T21:26:29Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*\* What do you want for Christmas? > PC Replacement: Need Answer Fast\*\* > > “Thank you for calling Santa’s North Pole Hotline. Please listen closely, as our options have changed. Dial 1 for returns. Dial 2 for complaints about elves. Dial 3 to order the 2014 Mrs. Santa Penthouse Calendar. Dial 4 for details about the class action lawsuit over reindeer roof damage. Dial 5 for this year’s gift requests. Dial 6 to find out what happened to last year’s gift requests. > Please continue holding, your business is very important to us.” ♪ ♬ _Have a holly jolly Xmas_ ♫ ♭ That’s evil. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/632 "2013-11-30T08:06:40Z")
\*\* Can I show up at a Catholic Church & just join the congregaton? What’s to stop me? Poll: Hera, Aphrodite, Athena\*\* I imagine Thor will have something to say there as well. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/633 "2013-11-30T22:10:53Z")
\*\*Can I show up at a Catholic Church & just join the congregaton? What’s to stop me? Richard Simmons \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/634 "2013-11-30T22:14:18Z")
\*\*How do quadriplegics/injured people relieve sexual tension? How about a St. Louis Dopefest next week? \*\* :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/635 "2013-11-30T23:03:24Z")
**Another teenaged airplane thief I am quite high up in the sky** [locked thread] “Young man, you land that airplane right now!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/636 "2013-12-01T04:31:15Z")
**What would you do if your daughter did porn? The Appalachian Trail** A few months on the trail might take your mind off it… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/637 "2013-12-01T04:57:05Z")
\*\* If I could take your brain and stick it in a pickle jar, would you still be conscious? How does this help a toothache?\*\* C’mon, what’s the harm in trying? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/638 "2013-12-01T17:24:43Z")
**What do you do when you get the house to yourself? Why wasn’t the zebra domesticated?** Weekend project! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/639 "2013-12-01T20:26:05Z")
**What do you do when your life has been stolen? Buy a used snowblower** Well, why not? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806/640 "2013-12-01T23:15:18Z")
**Do you know how to use all the programs in Microsoft Office? What would you do if your daughter did porn?** Then you need Windows Media Player, silly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fall-of-the-house-of-sequential-threads/667806.md?page=33)