Just have him stick his finger in a light socket. If he glows, there’s still more to expunge!
Perhaps Mr.VOW needs a short discription of anatomy.
You don’t need to put your hearing aid down there. It’s so hard to replace batteries…but this is not the preferred method. Just sayin’
Well, a small FYI.
MY hearing aid does not belong in Mr VOW’s “down there.”
My brain is so twisted. I’m envisioning putting an ear to a sea shell to listen to the sound of the ocean.
I’m going back to bed. It’s going to be a long day.
~VOW
If I were you I’d turn the HA volume down and don’t replace the batteries at all.
Nothing worth hearing. I promise.
Technical question:
Is there any way to print the OP and all replies, other than transcribing it to a text file?
I’m thinking of those letters that get tucked into Christmas cards…
~VOW
Sunday update:
He “mined” his output and found four batteries. Two more to go.
A point of interest, three of the batteries still had the little orange tabs
~VOW attached! Wonder what glue is used?
Creative paragraph partitioning? Everything looked okay when I hit “Reply.” (Yes, yes, I know they ALL say that…)
Let’s just say I’m still overcome by the fumes.
~VOW
I suggest he avoid eating corn for the next few days. It could lead to a lot of false positives during his search.
Who has that kind of time?
Just to drag this dead horse up to the top of the page, I have an update:
One more battery arrived last night!
Mr VOW got a call from the Battery Ingestion Hotline, wanting to know “how goes it all.” (Clever wording mine. Could you tell?)
The big, tough, he-man thinks there is no need to keep nagging him to report back to the ER, since almost all the batteries have “passed.” (By this time, puns are automatic.)
I will kick him in the butt to contact the Battery Ingestion Hotline. Honestly, I never dreamed such an agency existed. Do they write their reports on toilet paper? I bet their copy machine gets clogged up constantly. Do they give it Xerox Exlax?
~VOW
A few years ago one of the grand wreks decided to eat berries(“outside candy” her words) as we didn’t know their pedigree after vomiting a couple times and the red stuff was alarmingly on her mother’s white jeans it was determined they were not exactly healthy eats.
Poison control was called. The bush was found. The berry wasn’t poison but the seed might be. So they were instructed to watch for certain distress signs and watch the poopies for tiny black seeds.
None were found. No distress. But the ‘Poisoned baby Inspectors’ called at least 6 times.
The last time Son-of-a-wrek told them “…she’s fine, were not spelunking in the potty chair anymore. Gimme an address and I’ll mail YOU the poop and you can deal with it”
They didn’t call back anymore.
You definitely had a hand in raising that boy, didn’t you, Beck?
~VOW
That boy won’t do! 
Maybe there is a better answer, but what I would try to do is first choose the lowest magnification to get as much as possible on each screen and then repeatedly use the screen save function (on a Windows machine; I assume there is a similar feature for a Mac) to transfer the screens to a suitable file that can be edited. Tedious, but not as bad as sorting through sh*t.
Discourse has a special URL for a topic that creates a print-friendly version of the thread.
Long threads are apparently broken up so that only the first x responses are in the document, so you have to paginate, but I think this topic is small enough to be printed in one go.
So, for this discussion, it would be
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-family-whammy-strikes-again/1028025/print
When I tried that URL on my Android phone, it attempted to queue up a print job, and canceling that left me with a visibly print-friendly rendition of the topic on the screen, so it seems like it should work.
Great cite there @gnoitall. Anyone interested should read that whole thread, not just the cited post in it.
Digging further, there is a way to get just the raw text of the thread. The output is limited to the first 100 posts. But if the thread is longer than that, you can page through it one page at a time and splice the resulting text files together.
The url of this thread is
https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-family-whammy-strikes-again/1028025
and the url you want is
https://boards.straightdope.com/raw/1028025
So just remove /t/thread title is here/ and insert raw and you’re in business. Once you see that output, click [save as] on your browser menu and you’ll get a plain text file.
This thread is short enough to get the whole thing in one take. But if it was longer, you could add ?page=2 etc., on the end of the url to get second and subsequent pages.
Here’s an example with a different thread that has 179 posts as I write:
- First 100 posts:
https://boards.straightdope.com/raw/1027738 - Next posts starting at #101 up to 200:
https://boards.straightdope.com/raw/1027738?page=2
I appreciate your help, LSLGuy.
I just went to the bottom of the thread where there are a handful of blue buttons. The only one I use regularly is “Reply.” I noticed another one that says “Share” and I found I could send the link to anyone via email. Being a humble soul, I will only send that link now to a captive audience, like my family and friends.
~VOW