# The Fantastic Four; is anyone gonna see this turd? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422 "2005-07-07T06:01:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/1 "2005-07-07T06:01:56Z")
Alright. It’s gone too far. The Burger King commercials, the bus ads, the cell phone tie-ins, the video games, the underoos–this isn’t a movie, is it? It’s a commercial, right? Did anyone even _read_ the Fantastic Four? This isn’t even a good comic book we’re talking about here. It’s not Spider Man. It’s not Batman. It’s no good man in any way. It makes me angry. I’m boycotting with an iron fist. I just want to know: who’s going to the theatre when this comes out? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/2 "2005-07-07T06:12:16Z")
It’s got Jessica Alba in it, doesn’t it? Opening day, baby! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/3 "2005-07-07T06:12:52Z")
naaaaah I’ll prolly borrow the DVD from someone when it’s released in October, but I’d rather go see Sin City for a 3rd time than pay to see F4. Jessica Alba is in both, but she is totally wrong for the part of Sue Storm. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/4 "2005-07-07T07:33:52Z")
Not even when it’s free on TV ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/5 "2005-07-07T11:10:22Z")
Using the power given to me by a passing wave of cosmic, er… stuff, I will move this to **Cafe Society**! Lessee… cosmic wave, cosmic powers… you can call me _The Cosby_. Now excuse me as I go do a little dance and wipe out the rest of the dads in the weekly ratings. ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/6 "2005-07-07T11:38:17Z")
I’ll probably rent it or something eventually and fast-forward through all the scenes that haven’t got Ioan Gruffudd. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/7 "2005-07-07T12:05:29Z")
I plan on seeing it. Mostly because I can think of worse ways to spend a summer afternoon than sipping a soda while I watch CGI mutates kicking the tar out of each other for two hours. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/8 "2005-07-07T12:07:05Z")
It’s looked bad from day one. I can’t see how it would be possible to make a movie of the _Fantastic Four_, with their really stupid names, and it not look like complete cheese. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/9 "2005-07-07T12:07:32Z")
> [@](#): > > This isn’t even a good comic book we’re talking about here. I habven’t followed it in ages, but back in the 1960s, when Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were putting it together, this was one of the absolute _Best_ comics. From about issues 30 to 100 it showed mind-blowing cosmic adventures with Kirby’s wonderfully operatic artwork. If the movie manages to capture a tenth of that it’ll be good. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/10 "2005-07-07T12:30:35Z")
I’m seeing it for two reasons: the aforementioned Jessica Alba, and because what’s not to like about watching people kick ass with super powers? It’s not like I’m going in there expecting to be blown away by some sort of mind warping new thought. Sometimes it’s just fun to watch a stupid action movie. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/11 "2005-07-07T12:32:22Z")
Sorry to double post, but I just had a question that doesn’t deserve a thread of it’s own. Does the guy who bursts into flame have to say “flame on” when he wants it to happen? In one commercial I see him snapping his fingers and making his hand go on fire, but then he jumps off the building and says “flame on!” and becomes a human fireball. Is it a matter of degree? Or is it a stupid catch phrase that they invented for the movie? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/12 "2005-07-07T12:35:17Z")
As I recall, Johnny Storm said “Flame On!” back in the '60s. I don’t think he needs to vocalise the command to ignite, but he is a kid and thinks it sounds cool. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/13 "2005-07-07T12:45:42Z")
> [@audiobottle](#): > > Or is it a stupid catch phrase that they invented for the movie? It’s always been his catch phrase, just like the Thing has to say “It’s clobberin’ time!”. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/14 "2005-07-07T12:48:41Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I habven’t followed it in ages, but back in the 1960s, when Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were putting it together, this was one of the absolute _Best_ comics. From about issues 30 to 100 it showed mind-blowing cosmic adventures with Kirby’s wonderfully operatic artwork. If the movie manages to capture a tenth of that it’ll be good. I’ve heard that the Mark Waid run from a couple years back is also very good. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/15 "2005-07-07T13:28:39Z")
Only if [Asbestos Man](http://www.superdickery.com/stupor/13.html) makes a cameo. 😃 Eh, I’ll wait to hear some reviews. > [@Birdmonster](#): > > It’s no good man in any way. No, that’s the point. As individuals they might be able to beat up on second string villians, but as a team they can stand up to Galatus and guys like that. If you don’t like Fantasic Four, avoid Legion of Superheroes like the plague. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/16 "2005-07-07T13:31:31Z")
> [@Birdmonster](#): > > This isn’t even a good comic book we’re talking about here. The hell it isn’t. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Santos\_L\_Halper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/santos_l_halper/32/1_2.png) [@Santos\_L\_Halper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santos_L_Halper)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/17 "2005-07-07T13:48:53Z")
> [@audiobottle](#): > > Or is it a stupid catch phrase that they invented for the movie? Nope, it’s a stupid catch phrase invented in the comic books. 🙂 I haven’t read the comic in quite a few years, but used to really love it. The film sounds like it’s really going to suck however. Rotten Tomatoes has only 14 reviews (which seems like very few the day before the release of a big summer film). It’s got 11 rotten and three fresh, but look at the tags for the three “positives”: > [@](#): > > Fantastic Four is a movie that could have been a lot better – but it could also have been a lot worse. > [@](#): > > It’s not great but it’s not utter crap either. > [@](#): > > Yes, it’s kinda stupid, but it’s basically fun. Wow, talk about ringing endorsements! ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/18 "2005-07-07T13:56:36Z")
Ebert: [One star](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050706/REVIEWS/507070301). Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/19 "2005-07-07T14:01:47Z")
Well, I’m planning to see it because it’s got three of my favorite actors: Jessica Alba, Ioan Grufford (I was a fan of his way back when the first Hornblower TV movies came out when I was in high school), and Julian McMahon (He was cool on Charmed) Plus, it’s always a trip to hear Ioan Grufford talk without a British accent. Took me YEARS to realize he was in Black Hawk Down. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422/20 "2005-07-07T14:02:17Z")
I’m going to see it because I like the F4. My daughter wants to see it too, so we’ll end up going to a Sunday matinee. Cheaper that way too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fantastic-four-is-anyone-gonna-see-this-turd/311422.md?page=2)