# The Fat Gail Center for Hot Boy Studies: The Conundrum: Javier Bardem. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 28, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329 "2008-01-28T17:37:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/21 "2008-01-28T22:48:51Z")
I think he’s pretty hot sans creepy hairdo. Plus he can do that sort of intimidating scary persona well (as we saw in _No Country_) so he’s got that going for him… ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/22 "2008-01-28T22:50:08Z")
[Hot!](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier3.jpg) [Hot!](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier1.jpg) [Hot!](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier2.jpg) [Hot!](http://www.citecinema.com/Les-Grands-Noms/galerie%20de%20photos/Javier%20Bardem.jpg) [Hot!](http://www.blogdecine.com/archivos/images/JavierBardem202.jpg) [Hot!](http://images.killermovies.com/l/loveinthetimeofcholera/javier_bardem.jpg) [Hot!](http://www.cinema24.ch/images/casts/bardem_javier.jpg) [Hot!](http://www.moviemaze.de/galerie/bardem_javier01.jpg) [Hot!](http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/2738/1929/lo/co2.jpg) [Hot!](http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/04/15/javier_bardem_200,0.jpg) [Hot!](http://home.frognet.net/~mcfadden/evu/img/evu_javier_bardem_11.jpg) [Hot!](http://home.frognet.net/~mcfadden/evu/img/evu_javier_bardem_23.jpg) [VERY FREAKING HOT!](http://www.elpaisinternacional.com/media/INFOGRL4/20011008000071.jpg) I can’t believe anyone would judge his hotness based on the character of Anton. He’s an ACTOR. It’s his JOB to look different in every movie! (psst, King Kong was only 3’6") ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/23 "2008-01-28T22:52:39Z")
In my books, he’s a solid “meh”. He definitely doesn’t qualify for Hot Villain in _No Country_, not by a mile. If anything, my panties got dryer while watching his performance. Don’t get me wrong… it’s a fantastic performance, but it’s just the furthest thing from hot that you could possibly imagine (well, that and the fug hairdo doesn’t do a thing for his man hotness). The title of Hottest Villain still belongs to Christian Bale in American Psycho. Swoon. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/24 "2008-01-28T23:05:27Z")
After looking at the much wider range of photos that **Equipoise** posted, I want to change my answer. Bardem seems to suffer from Raul Julia Angular Dependency Syndrome. In other words, much like Raul Julia, his hotness seems to change in direct proportion to what angle he’s photographed from. In some of those pictures he’s so hot that if I had a vagina I’d need to change my underwear. In others, he’s kind of meh. And in one or two, he looks like someone’s sixty-year-old dad who almost kind of looks like that one 70s cop movie heavy… ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/25 "2008-01-28T23:08:33Z")
Incidentally, I would like to know where to send my CV for consideration for a summer fellowship with the Fat Gail Center for Hot Boy Studies. I would consider an opportunity to participate in further Hot Boy Studies, preferably with direct contact with the hot boys being studied, a great honor and a small way for me to give back to the hot boy community for all the joy it’s given me through the years. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/26 "2008-01-28T23:28:36Z")
As a heterosexual male, I’m limited in judging hotness in guys. From the pictures posted, I’d have to say he MAY be hot if you like that type. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/27 "2008-01-29T00:08:45Z")
I first saw him in **Boca a Boca** and he was smokin’ hot–I can’t find any stills from the movie other than the goofy ass cover shot, which sux… He’s a little Neanderthal looking, but then again so’s Clive Owen–it’s not my most preferred look, but I can’t deny teh hawtness when it smacks me in the face. He does have that “rode hard & put away wet” rough look to him but I think it works. The pageboy hairdo is appalling, though, and would make anyone look weird. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/28 "2008-01-29T00:26:21Z")
I vote hot. [QUOTE=Kalhoun] I’d do 'im. But people find it odd that I’d do Benicio Del Toro, too. I’d do both of 'em at the same time…with the lights on. [/QUOTE] I’m interested in your ideas, and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/29 "2008-01-29T01:33:10Z")
Does anybody else differentiate between handsome and hot? Like, I would call myself pretty, but not hot. Hotness implies a sort of cheap sexiness to me, that doesn’t stick around for very long, whereas being handsome or beautiful is a quality that lasts longer. For example, Britney Spears was once upon a time HOT, but now is not. Kate Winslet is beautiful. I would say that Sr. Bardem is handsome, but not hot. But oh! The handsomeness of him! Standing next to him would definitely induce a quiver somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/30 "2008-01-29T02:10:37Z")
[QUOTE=fatgail] Oh no. I can’t get behind Benecio Del Toro. He looks like he has bad breath. [/QUOTE] The breath doesn’t matter from that angle. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/31 "2008-01-29T02:13:16Z")
His face is too big. Not hot in my books. (I worked with a guy who looks a bit like Javier. All the girlies there were swooning over this guy, and I thought he just looked like an ape-man. Eh.) Benicio del Toro looks like he needs a thorough hosing off and scrubbing down, complete with teethbrushing, shave, and change of clothes. He’s just yicky. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/32 "2008-01-29T02:50:55Z")
I just don’t know. I’ve been puzzling over this, and I can’t answer. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/33 "2008-01-29T03:05:11Z")
[He’s a spitting image](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier3.jpg) of [Chris Chelios](http://www.answers.com/topic/chris-chelios-1) It’s almost creepy. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/34 "2008-01-29T04:31:27Z")
[QUOTE=Omniscient] [He’s a spitting image](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier3.jpg) of [Chris Chelios](http://www.answers.com/topic/chris-chelios-1) It’s almost creepy. [/QUOTE] …and (as **ShelliBean** mentioned above) [Jeffrey Dean Morgan](http://www.watchmen-the-movie.com/images/10f.jpg) (from Grey’s/Weeds/Supernatural/etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/35 "2008-01-29T05:19:44Z")
[QUOTE=gallows fodder] …and (as **ShelliBean** mentioned above) [Jeffrey Dean Morgan](http://www.watchmen-the-movie.com/images/10f.jpg) (from Grey’s/Weeds/Supernatural/etc.) [/QUOTE] Thank you! You nailed\* exactly\* why I felt attracted to him (and couldn’t exactly place why). (The voice is kinda hot, though.) ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/36 "2008-01-29T05:40:07Z")
I vote no. He looks like he was rode hard and put away wet. ---
**Author:** ![fatgail](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fatgail/32/7285_2.png) [@fatgail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatgail)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/37 "2008-01-29T14:52:24Z")
[QUOTE=Omniscient] [He’s a spitting image](http://suspended-in-gaffa.com/movies/javier3.jpg) of [Chris Chelios](http://www.answers.com/topic/chris-chelios-1) It’s almost creepy. [/QUOTE] I’ve got a lot to say this morning. Chris Chelios seems to me to suffer from ‘face crevices’ that go beyond ‘life lines’ into ‘molded pancake makeup’, but he plays HOCKEY, so you know he’s got legs and ass of STEEL. STEEL. I’d do him. **equipose** offered some good examples of the hotness, but some of them still are fence sitters. Long hair flowing in the wind? Bad. I don’t like long hair. No. Short, spiky hair, short messy hair, no hair. Those are the choices. The Raul Julia Critical Angle Syndrome can be applied to a lot of people, but I agree with **jayjay**..Javier is devoted to it. Christian Bale is so hot as to frighten me awake in the middle of the night, shaking my husband from a sound sleep, whispering “IS HE REAL?” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/38 "2008-01-29T16:11:00Z")
For those who are on the fence about the hotness of Jeffrey Dean Morgan please go see P.S I Love You. The hotness knows no bounds! I think that Javier looks much like him in an older, spent a lot of time tanning in his youth sort of way. I would do him as long as I also get to do Jeffrey Dean Morgan. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/39 "2008-01-29T16:13:22Z")
He’s quite hot, I think. Of course, after _No Country_, I don’t think I could ever even stand to be in the same room as him, let alone think of him in a sexual way. ---
**Author:** ![fatgail](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fatgail/32/7285_2.png) [@fatgail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatgail)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2008, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329/40 "2008-01-29T16:44:14Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] For those who are on the fence about the hotness of Jeffrey Dean Morgan please go see P.S I Love You. The hotness knows no bounds! I think that Javier looks much like him in an older, spent a lot of time tanning in his youth sort of way. I would do him as long as I also get to do Jeffrey Dean Morgan. [/QUOTE] Is he the heart transplant guy on Grey’s Anatomy? He is a fence sittah for me as well. Here at the **FatGail Center For Hot Boy Studies** we don’t fool around with the obvious, we find the stragglers on the fringes, a Nick Chinlund, and decide if they make the list. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fat-gail-center-for-hot-boy-studies-the-conundrum-javier-bardem/435329.md?page=3)