# The FBI guarantees my Nigerian Riches **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121 "2009-09-30T16:55:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/1 "2009-09-30T16:55:45Z")
I have never gotten Nigerian scam email before. I finally got one, and it is such a nice one. Not only do I have big bucks in Nigeria, but the FBI says it is 100% safe! > [@](#): > > Attn: Beneficiary, > This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment. > Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4,000 to $5,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD. > > Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $110.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction. > CONTACT INFORMATION > NAME: Mike Williams > [EMAIL:mikewilliams18@yahoo.cn](mailto:EMAIL:mikewilliams18@yahoo.cn) > Telephone Number: +234-803-357-0260 > Do contact Mr.Mike Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details: > > FULL NAME: > HOME ADDRESS: > TELL: > CELL: > CURRENT OCCUPATION: > BANK NAME: > AGE: > So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you’ll use in making payment of $110.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. > We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you. > > Thanks and hope to read from you soon. > FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III. > > Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to Note that the email from the FBI Director does indeed truncate on the word ‘to’, and that he uses the phrase “have to be rest assured”. Perhaps even more interesting is the amount of money - USD$11,000.000.00 - is this Eleven Million Dollars, or Eleven thousand dollars and some microscopic penny fractions. It will take me six years to get the money out of the ATM if we’re talking 11 mill. ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/2 "2009-09-30T17:30:32Z")
I’m pleased to see that the federal government is eliminating unnecessary spending by allocating their FBI agents free Chinese Yahoo email accounts instead of wasteful internal infrastructure. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/3 "2009-09-30T17:30:55Z")
The sad thing is, as ridiculously hilarious as that letter is, there will be some people who fall for it! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/4 "2009-09-30T17:33:53Z")
Puppy Scammers? Who the blazes is translating these things? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/5 "2009-09-30T20:45:16Z")
“Federal Bureau Of Investigation” That’s a new agency, the FBOI. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/6 "2009-10-01T00:26:58Z")
“Ben of Fedex”. It’s got to be legit. Why else would Ben lend his name to such a thing? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/7 "2009-10-01T01:01:03Z")
I got one one of these a few days ago. I, too, was “order to get back to” someone at somewhere. But I don’t follow orders from anyone cause ain’t no one gonna push me around. And nothing ain’t happened yet. Bunch a yellowbellies is what I think. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/8 "2009-10-01T01:30:41Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Puppy Scammers? Who the blazes is translating these things? 😃 I know… puppy scammers are the ones that try to get you to buy nonexistant pets. (I had a lot of fun in the past with them by saying no, I didn’t want a dog, but did they by chance have any unicorns?) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/9 "2009-10-01T01:41:26Z")
So is Ben of Fedex (my god, that sounds so medieval) one of those puppy scammers? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/10 "2009-10-01T03:20:37Z")
[Ben of Fedex](http://www.jigsaw.com/scid7017436/ben_baker.xhtml) ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/11 "2009-10-01T03:26:43Z")
Well, according to my correspondent, Ms. Angela Gordon, currently of Texas, USA, and formerly of Nigeria, ```php You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them because it is not with them. They are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing. ``` Please, harken to Ms. Gordon’s advice. She is really the only one of all of these situations in the history of all history that is for REAL!! Sucker! ETA: Oooo, I don’t know how I did _that_ but it’s cool. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/12 "2009-10-01T03:31:56Z")
> [@Driver8](#): > > I’m pleased to see that the federal government is eliminating unnecessary spending by allocating their FBI agents free Chinese Yahoo email accounts instead of wasteful internal infrastructure. Outsourcing… ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/13 "2009-10-01T05:14:36Z")
My favorite recent one: > [@](#): > > RE’ RESPOND URGENTLY IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE.!! > > From the desk of, > ABDUL YAKUBU > Director Foreign Operations Dept. > > Sir/Madam > We are obliged to inform you that after we have completed the process of releasing your funds to you, we now received a Death Certificate, certifying that you were dead according to one Mr. David Jones, who claims to be your representative, and he has requested that your funds should be transferred to a Swiss account he provided. > But however, due to the suspicious nature of his claims, we therefore decided to write you to know if really you were dead as said by the so called Mr. David Jones. > > So please if you were still alive, you should provide the following information for us to be sure. > > 1. Your full name > 2. Your residential address > 3. Your telephone number > 4. Your occupation > > Be notified that if we do not hear from you within the next 7 days, we shall assume you were dead as claimed by your representative, and we would then transfer the funds to his Swiss account as he desire. > All the obligations have been met and the funds are ready for transfer to the account now. > Awaiting your urgent response to this effect > Yours faithfully. > > YAKUBU ABDUL., I was very tempted to respond confirming that I am indeed dead. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/14 "2009-10-01T18:59:13Z")
There was this guy on 419eater who [wasn’t quite sure if he was dead or not](http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=129634&)… ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/15 "2009-10-01T23:46:18Z")
Please send my millionss of dollllaarrs in the formm of BRAAAIINS ---
**Author:** ![sethness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@sethness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sethness)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/16 "2009-10-06T07:20:47Z")
Fun facts about Nigerian scams: 1. This type of scam has been around for over a hundred years. Originally, it was called the “Spanish Prisoner” because the conman would convince the victim that a prince/princess was being held for ransom in a Spanish prison, and would liberally reward anyone who would pay the bribes necessary to secure the prisoner’s freedom. The conman would simply invent new expenses for the victim to pay, forever keeping the prisoner’s freedom and the victim’s financial reward in the near future. 2. The Nigerian Scam takes its name from the country that produces a majority of these scam emails. (Duh!) The Nigerian government strangely works hard to threaten people who point this out, but do little to prosecute the Nigerians who make their living this way. There is no racism inherent in the term “Nigerian scam”. A notable recent case is a series of SONY Youtube-type ads that end with “Don’t believe everything you hear on the Internet. If that were true, I’d be a Nigerian millionaire!” Nigerian government officials responded with a threat of a 1 million US dollar lawsuit if SONY didn’t remove the ads and sponsor a series of “isn’t Nigeria NICE!” ads with equal power and scope. Grrrrrr! 1. Nigerian scams are also known as “419” scams because 419 is the number/name of the Nigerian law being broken. These scams are also called “advance fee frauds” because the conman is hoping to get advance payments from the victim, while the victim expects an eventual huge financial reward. Another useful term in the “industry” is the Nigerian word “Mugu”, which means “idiot” and is usually used to describe the victim. 1. Sites such as [419eater.com](http://419eater.com) exist for “Nigerian baiting”, the weird new sport in which normal folks pose as victims in order to make these conmen waste as much time and resources as possible. Frequently the goal is simply to string the conman along as long as possible, using increasingly funny excuses to prolong the game and increase the conman’s greed. Commonly these tactics include pun names like “Eric Shun” or obvious actors’/fictional names, and descriptions of the fictional victim’s wealth and willingness. Very often the “baiter” concludes the game after obtaining a prize. The prize is often a photo of the scammer holding up an unlikely sign or object to prove his identity and sincerity. In my favorite version of nigerian baiting, the baiter turns the game around, turning the scammer into a victim of a nigerian scam. These turnarounds work like this: The baiter responds to a Nigerian Scam email by saying “I have no time to consider your offer. However, my company is a charity that routinely gives US$30,000 scholarships/grants/endowments to artists/churches/sports groups in developing countries…”. The scammer becomes the victim, eventually paying their own $ to express-mail applications, artwork, and photographs to some fictional address in the hope of eventually receiving some vast financial endowment from the fictional charity. (I dunno about the legality of scamming the scammers, though-- sounds legally dodgy.) ---
**Author:** ![sethness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@sethness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sethness)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/17 "2009-10-06T07:34:27Z")
Be aware that another very common Nigerian scam is rather less easy to recognize. It works like this: You, the victim, pay for a perfectly legitimate “for sale” ad in a local newspaper or CraigsList. From the online version of that ad, the scammer gets your email address and pretends to have a great interest in buying whatever you’re selling. Using various excuses, they get you to pay shipping costs or check-clearing costs or some other fee prior to you receiving the money for your sale. In the most common version, the victim is asked to cash an overly large check and send the remainder (after the sales price has been deducted) immediately, before the victim discovers that the scammer’s big check’s not worth the paper it’s written on. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/18 "2009-10-06T07:35:24Z")
I got this one recently. > [@](#): > > This commission(EFCC) in conjunction with London Metropolitan Police and FBI,hereby inform all concerned beneficiaries over their Contract Payments,Inheritance claims,or Lotto Award Winning Claims that there are rampant distribution of Scam email,mails,and faxes from impostors. > We have mandated all beneficiaries to stop further communication with any Individual,agents,organisationS and/or Financial Institutions that may claim to have power over the release of your funds. > > How do you know scam? > > 1.You will be asked to make upfront payments usually via Western Union or MoneyGram. > > 2.They usually address themselves with various titles such Dr.,Prof.,Chief,Alhaji,Senator,etc impersonating government official positions such as Apex bank Governors,Bank directors,Bank managers,Paymaster General,Senators,Minister of Finance,Presidents,Chairman of the boards,Secretaries to the government,Dipomats etc. > > 3.Majority of these emails,mails or faxes originate from Africa(Nigeria,Ivory Coast,Benin Republic,Ghana,Togo,etc) and Europe(United Kingdom,Spain,Germany,etc). > > Therefore, you are advised to contact us for the appropriate office incharge of your payment. > > In your reply, provide this commission with the following information for reconfirmation: > Company name(if any): > Surname: > Other Names: > Contact address: > Home Phone: > Mobile Phone number: > Fax number: > a scanned copy of your > Bank Details: > Have you in any way received part of your payment?(yes or No)? > If Yes,how much did you receive?: > How long have you beeing pursuing the reease of your funds?: > > We look forward to hearing from you. > > Mrs. Farida Waziri, > Chairman Of the Anti-Graft Agency,Economic & Financial Crime Commission(EFCC) > No5 Fomella Street, Off Adetokunbo Ademola Crescent,Wuse II Abuja-Nigeria Visit us @ [www.efccnigeria.com](http://www.efccnigeria.com) I’m so relieved. I lost my life savings to a Nigerian scammer, and it sounds like they want to help. Now I’ll just send them my bank info too and everything will be okay. ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/19 "2009-10-07T04:17:35Z")
I say take the puppies. ---
**Author:** ![HamaMotoMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d78d45/32.png) [@HamaMotoMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HamaMotoMan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121/20 "2009-10-07T11:20:31Z")
God, I`ve been craving Nigerian puppy soup. Ah, that aside. I probably receive emails like this in my junk every single frickin day. Before I managed to replenish my tiny library, those were my light reading. These people come up with some pretty involved and interesting sob stories. One man, on the verge of death from a terminal disease, had spent his life in the lap of luxury spending it on what he termed, `vainities`. He was willing to give me the remainder of his wealth if he could only have my bank account number. I admit to shedding that one proverbial tear before hitting the empty junk mail button. But, yes, the idea of their existence does irk me on my more irritable days. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fbi-guarantees-my-nigerian-riches/512121.md?page=2)