# The First Axiom of Car Repair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028 "2007-11-19T13:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/21 "2007-11-19T21:54:06Z")
The girth of my fingers seems to be increasing in inverse proportion to the amount of space available to fit tool, finger, part, flashlight. I’ll need to get a Model T soon. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/22 "2007-11-19T22:29:50Z")
My old car ('02 Dodge Neon) certainly followed the OP’s maxim, in order to replace the bulb, you had to _unbolt the headlight assembly_ and re-align the headlight after install, typically a 20-30 minute job my new car ('07 Saturn Ion) also requires headlight removal for bulb changes, _however_, Saturn engineers figured a quite novel and _logical_ way of doing it, the headlight assembly is held in with two “restraining bolts” (Astromech droid not included…), basically two “L” shaped pins, one on each side of the headlight assembly, to swap bulbs, you simply pull the two restraining bolts, slide out the headlight assembly, replace the bulb, and slide the headlight assembly back in, reinstall the bolts and you’re good, no headlight realignment neccecary, as the bolts hold the light assembly in the headlight frame, total replacement time, five minutes, tops however, replacing the bulbs in the taillights is less logical, it requires the removal of three screws (at least they’re Phillips) and the taillight assembly ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/23 "2007-11-20T01:22:52Z")
**Rick’s ironclad law of auto repair** Mr. Murphy is always standing right behind you just waiting… ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/24 "2007-11-20T02:48:18Z")
Unbolt the headlamp? Go to the dealer? Yeesh! What ever happened to the world standardizing on the type 9004 bulb that mounts with a quarter-turn twist? Sounds like we need to re-phrase the first axiom of car repair: \*\*In order to save .02 cents per vehicle, the automakers will do things that are simple for them that will make maintenance by the owner difficult or even impossible. \*\* My second axiom relates to heater cores. The first component of the car that starts rolling down the assembly line is the heater core. Everything else is bolted to the heater core in layers, much like an onion. Third axiom: Every good do-it-yourself project will require the purchase of one moderately expensive specialized tool that has no other worldly use other than acting as a paperweight or blunt weapon. Avid shadetree mechanics collect these oddball tools and display them proudly on their garage wall so the entire neighborhood can know that they possess a #4 manifold alignment jig and a full set of carburetor torque pawls, including metric. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/25 "2007-11-20T03:37:06Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] I’m not even going to go into the replacement of headlights on the New Beetle. The owner’s manual directs you to the dealer to have the lights replaced. Fortunately, someone posted directions with photos online. I printed off those pages and they’re stored in the manual. Stoopit VW… [/QUOTE] FIVE headlights. FIIIIve. The retaining plastic bits snapped off long ago. I am reaaal glad it’s gone. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/26 "2007-11-20T11:24:10Z")
The first axiom of car repair is never let your friends find out you’re mechanically inclined - they’ll show up on your doorstep with sick cars… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/27 "2007-11-20T11:29:27Z")
[QUOTE=E-Sabbath] FIVE headlights. FIIIIve. The retaining plastic bits snapped off long ago. [/QUOTE] I think my daughter has replaced 3 so far (it’s her car, sorta) and luckily, she has better hand strength than I do, because I couldn’t get the doggone strap thingy to release. I expect once she graduates and gets her first adult job, the car will be on the list to go away. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/28 "2007-11-20T11:36:23Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] The first axiom of car repair is never let your friends find out you’re mechanically inclined - they’ll show up on your doorstep with sick cars… [/QUOTE] Hi Rick, what do you do for a living? Mummble, mummble mummble What? Pizza delivery. 😃 (actually I don’t mind working on my friend’s cars) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/29 "2007-11-20T13:25:08Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] The first axiom of car repair is never let your friends find out you’re mechanically inclined - they’ll show up on your doorstep with sick cars… [/QUOTE] My brother helps me with my car; I help him with his computer. I call it fair. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/30 "2007-11-20T14:30:09Z")
I tend to be brutally honest with my cars. When I get them, I tell them that this is the end of the line and they will go no further. Through no fault of their own, their days of service will probably end with me. I wonder what it would be like to have a car with low mileage. I have always suspected that the anxiety to protect the investment and whatnot would outweigh the supposed benefits. ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/31 "2007-11-20T17:33:17Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] I think my daughter has replaced 3 so far (it’s her car, sorta) and luckily, she has better hand strength than I do, because I couldn’t get the doggone strap thingy to release. I expect once she graduates and gets her first adult job, the car will be on the list to go away. [/QUOTE] My friend God of Citroens has a Beetle, and he says that if you apply inward pressure on the headlight lens as you try to undo the latch thingie, it goes better. Note: I have not tried this myself, I am not a mechanic in real life, YMMV, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/32 "2007-11-20T19:11:39Z")
"all injuries and fatalities are the result of the unintended release of energy. " -Unintentionally Blank (member 0001 of the Bonehead Mecanics Assoc. Of America\*) - turning finely machined parts into doorstops since 1969 ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/33 "2007-11-20T19:23:46Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] My old car ('02 Dodge Neon) certainly followed the OP’s maxim, in order to replace the bulb, you had to _unbolt the headlight assembly_ and re-align the headlight after install, typically a 20-30 minute job my new car ('07 Saturn Ion) also requires headlight removal for bulb changes, _however_, Saturn engineers figured a quite novel and _logical_ way of doing it, the headlight assembly is held in with two “restraining bolts” (Astromech droid not included…), basically two “L” shaped pins, one on each side of the headlight assembly, to swap bulbs, you simply pull the two restraining bolts, slide out the headlight assembly, replace the bulb, and slide the headlight assembly back in, reinstall the bolts and you’re good, no headlight realignment neccecary, as the bolts hold the light assembly in the headlight frame, total replacement time, five minutes, tops however, replacing the bulbs in the taillights is less logical, it requires the removal of three screws (at least they’re Phillips) and the taillight assembly [/QUOTE] Yeah, the headlights work about the same way on a 94 Geo Prism. I figured this out after about four hours of trying to get the lens off, first from the front, then from the back. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/34 "2007-11-20T19:26:39Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] I tend to be brutally honest with my cars. When I get them, I tell them that this is the end of the line and they will go no further. Through no fault of their own, their days of service will probably end with me. I wonder what it would be like to have a car with low mileage. I have always suspected that the anxiety to protect the investment and whatnot would outweigh the supposed benefits. [/QUOTE] I just passed the 275,000 mark today. If I had all of the money that this car generated by “paying for itself” I would be a wealthy man indeed. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/35 "2007-11-20T19:31:23Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] The first axiom of car repair is never let your friends find out you’re mechanically inclined - they’ll show up on your doorstep with sick cars… [/QUOTE] Yes, but I _always_ bring pizza and beer. Which you can have after you’re done. And I love you, and I’ll give you a backrub. When you’re done. But no head. At least, not unless it’s a really tough job. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/36 "2007-11-20T19:39:56Z")
[QUOTE=nd\_n8] I just passed the 275,000 mark today. If I had all of the money that this car generated by “paying for itself” I would be a wealthy man indeed. [/QUOTE] But you did have all of the money that the car made by ‘paying for itself’ and yet you are not a rich man. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/37 "2007-11-20T19:44:52Z")
[QUOTE=phouka] Yes, but I _always_ bring pizza and beer. Which you can have after you’re done. And I love you, and I’ll give you a backrub. When you’re done. But no head. At least, not unless it’s a really tough job. [/QUOTE] All the jobs are really tough. All of them. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/38 "2007-11-20T19:49:24Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] All the jobs are really tough. All of them. [/QUOTE] And most of them need to be done three or four times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/39 "2007-11-20T20:21:04Z")
[QUOTE=ChiefScott] And most of them need to be done three or four times a week. [/QUOTE] Don’t forget the preventative maintenance. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028/40 "2007-11-20T20:38:59Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] Don’t forget the preventative maintenance. [/QUOTE] Especially the spindle flanges. They _always_ forget to check the spindle flanges. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-first-axiom-of-car-repair/427028.md?page=3)