# The 'flame yourself' thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447 "2002-04-08T07:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/81 "2002-04-16T06:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pravnik \* > \*\*Pravnik: > > Well, well. I finally get the chance to address you in a public forum and open up outr little internal dialouge to the world. My only reservation: where do I start with you? > > I guess here; you’ve got them all fooled pretty well, don’t you? Guess what? Not me. You are a FUCKING PHONY. Your entire personality is a mask. Peel that away and there’s another front. Keep peeling, like the layers of an onion. Eventually there’s nothing, just a desire to make a show for others, to impress everyone else. Vainty and shallowness defined. > > You have some classmates who think you’re a smart guy, although not as half as smart as you’d desperately like to convince you and everyone else you are to prove some pitiable self worth. So you smugly play humble at the same time you play up to hat you hope everyone thinks of you. What about today, smart guy? This isn’t some classroom where you can impress someone with a memory trick, this is REAL LIFE. If your clinic director hadn’t covered for your ass and filed the motion on time, several hundred people would have had their lawsuit to stop the landfill from being built next to their homes dismissed because you got drunk and played around because the smart guy can always pull it off later, can’t he? Doesn’t sound too smart to me. Sounds like a guy who believes his own bullshit. > > Basically, you’re irresponsible. Being messy and irresponsible for yourself is bad enough; what happens once you graduate and are supposed to be responsible for other people? I’ll tell you. Fuck up like you did today and there are DISBARRMENT PROCEEDINGS. There are LAWSUITS. There are LIVES FUCKED UP BECAUSE OF YOU. Which I don’t doubt will happen, because I see problems with you beyond angst-ridden self doubt bullshit, more like something I like to call There Is Something Seriously Fucked Up With You. > > To begin with, you’re afraid. You’re afraid to fail, you’re afraid to suceed. You’re filled with bravado but you won’t go get an AIDS test. You were afraid to answer your phone today! You do that quite a bit aren’t you? Why? Don’t quite know, do you? > > So, it seems to me, you try to attach onto anything you can to ignore that fear, like vanity. Go ahead, check yourself out in the mirror endlessly and keep telling yourself you’re cute like a boy band. I see who you’re really talking to. A coke-bottled, buck-toothed high school clown who didn’t graduate high school on time because he/you failed nearly every class he set his foot in that you can see a liiiiitle bit underneath the mirror, can’t you? Does it make you feel good now to look in the mirror and convince yourself you’re cute and smart? Does that give you self-worth? Do you know how pathetic that sounds? Can’t you attach some self worth somewhere else? Answer: no, because There is Something Seriously Wrong With You. > > Could you get a little more drunk a little more often please, and have a little more meaningless unsafe sex? Oh I’m sorry, you can’t, can you? Ever think about the people you may hurt? Ever think about looking a little more like a fool? Ever think about STD’s? About anything? Anything? > > Any of the consequences of any action you take? > > Let me ask you this: is there anyone now dead that might be alive had you never been born? > > pravnik, > I hate your fucking guts. > Fuck You. \*\* Pravnik: You’re a passionate person. That’s one of the things I like about you. But you’re also a rational person. Think about it rationally: Do you believe the guy I’m quoting? I see you as having one problem, and one problem only. You have a wonderful, wonderful life and don’t seem to realize it. You have a loving family and loving friends who are all so proud of you words can’t express it. You have a wonderful future ahead of your filled with more promise that you can imagine right now. You have so much that you don’t even see. Do you remember your grandfather’s funeral? More people came up to your grandmother and told her “Your Husband was my best friend” than she could remember; it was a small town, but it must have been over a hundred. Do you know why that is? Your grandfather honestly cared about other people, and it showed like gold. You’re like that, prav. You are a good person, and you honestly care about other people, and people notice it, and love you dearly for it. You have wonderful gifts in you life, but these are the best ones. The people who like having you around. So many people love you…try to love yourself. Your friend, Pravnik ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/82 "2002-04-16T11:34:40Z")
käse…käse??? What kind of stupid name is that? Your own name not stupid enough? Why write in English, when your English stinks, you dumb butterhead blonde. Go fill your face-pores with quarters and dimes, you might come in handy at the toll-bridge. Proud of your country, huh? Ever heard of Dutchbat? Or Pim Fortuyn? So, try to go to sleep now; you skinny skeleton. Goodnight, all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/83 "2002-04-16T13:40:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Any one of **Polycarp** ’s posts is worth a dozen of yours. **Esprix** , **jarbabyj** , **dropzone** - you could post until your fingers bled and you would never have anything resembling their style. \*\* The former could be said of any one of us. I defer to the man on nearly all things. The latter makes me blush, being placed in such fine company. I, myself, am a lifeless, morbidly obese, painfully shy, Giant Banana Slug whose enormous post count has been built at the expense of the time of the SDMB members and _The Chicago Reader’s_ expensive server and bandwidth. I add nothing to most threads and often derail them because of an obsessive need to post unbalanced by a remarkable lack of something to say. And let’s not even think about my contorted construction and 19th-century punctuation! I cannot write, yet I persist in foisting my meanderings on you poor people. My presence on this board is a truly obnoxious plea for attention; the online equivalent to me marching down the street, dressed as a clown and banging on a pot, yelling, “Look at ME! Ain’t I clever?” I cannot call myself “pathetic” because there is nothing wrong with me that is not of my own making, so no pathos is deserved. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/84 "2002-04-16T15:17:13Z")
**Lindy** , you idiot! How could you even _think_ of asking someone out five days after she broke up with her boyfriend? And you _knew that at the time_, so don’t try to weasel out of this one. You’ll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again, and seeing as how she was a friend of yours, that would be horrible. Idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/85 "2002-04-17T07:45:39Z")
OK, so you finally decided NOT to post that crap about all the shit you’d done lately. **Thank you** , Nenya. About fraggin time! Stop fucking beating yourself up all the time! And I meant what I said about Kiwi. God help me, this is getting too much. But dammit, girl, why’d you have to bump the crazy thread? Just for attention? Gah. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/86 "2002-04-17T08:15:27Z")
I am consumed with guilt over our relationship. It will come to no good end. I think that it is wrong to cheat on my husband with you. We have to stop doing this. Please… think of the children. Just remember: everytime I think about you, I touch myself. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/87 "2002-04-17T10:00:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\*I, myself, am a lifeless, morbidly obese, painfully shy, Giant Banana Slug whose enormous post count has been built at the expense of the time of the SDMB members and _The Chicago Reader’s_ expensive server and bandwidth. \*\* Remember, **dropzone** : on the Internet, nobody knows you’re a banana slug. 😉 Oh, and **jr8** : are you _still_ here? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/88 "2002-04-17T13:24:52Z")
[ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > **Please… think of the children.** Now I’m confused. Um, WHAT children? Don’t children, um, require certain behavior on your part? Or did the Little People (I didn’t say “fairie” because that would make it just TOO confusing 😉 ) leave them in exchange for your copy of “I Will Survive?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cruktar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d9b06d/32.png) [@Cruktar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cruktar)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/89 "2002-04-18T03:43:02Z")
Cruktar. Tsk-tsk. Your first post is going to be in a Pit Thread where you can “point out all of your shortcomings.” Great frickin’ way to create a presence on the board, dumbshit. Cruk, honey, I hate to break this to you, but the world does not (I repeat NOT) revolve around your hangups and neurotic indiosyncracies. If you continue believing that it does or should, soon your blood pressure will rise to a level that spews little jets from your ears if you move funny. Secondly, why don’t you show a little goddamn initiative once in awhile? Get off your skinny white ass and go jog, lift weights, do something! You’re never going to get that poolside body sprawled in the computer chair - your butt is just going to spread, and we don’t want that, now do we? For God’s sake, Cruk, you’ve got finals next week, followed by three Advanced Placement tests! The Taylor series will not be found on the insides of your eyelids, no matter how well you study them. Bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Cruktar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d9b06d/32.png) [@Cruktar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cruktar)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/90 "2002-04-18T03:57:18Z")
Cruktar. Tsk-tsk. Your first post is going to be in a Pit Thread where you can “point out all of your shortcomings.” Great frickin’ way to create a presence on the board, dumbshit. Cruk, honey, I hate to break this to you, but the world does not (I repeat NOT) revolve around your hangups and neurotic indiosyncracies. If you continue believing that it does or should, soon your blood pressure will rise to a level that spews little jets from your ears if you move funny. Secondly, why don’t you show a little goddamn initiative once in awhile? Get off your skinny white ass and go jog, lift weights, do something! You’re never going to get that poolside body sprawled in the computer chair - your butt is just going to spread, and we don’t want that, now do we? For God’s sake, Cruk, you’ve got finals next week, followed by three Advanced Placement tests! The Taylor series will not be found on the insides of your eyelids, no matter how well you study them. Bitch. ---
**Author:** ![wedgerat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@wedgerat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgerat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/91 "2002-04-19T21:24:27Z")
Dang it, Mika. Whenever you open your mouth, you say something stupid. You’re doing it right now-- they’re all laughing at you. Big dumbo. I’m ashamed to be you. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/92 "2002-04-20T04:31:24Z")
essvee, youre a big pile of chocolate thunder from down under. ---
**Author:** ![flapcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@flapcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flapcats)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/93 "2002-06-02T14:19:17Z")
It’s been a while, so my previous post about my wife hating me is now null - however, in the spirit: That POEM you wrote. Yes! THAT ONE, this morning. I can’t believe you posted it, it was shit. Go in the hole! Stay there! ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/94 "2002-06-02T17:11:55Z")
If you’re gonna be riding that moral high-horse you groom and lovingly feed apples to at every opportunity, stop being such a bleeding _hypocrite_. You look down at others’ lack of organization, and your room looks like it’s the hazardous terrain training for the SEALS. You look down at others’ unhealthy diets, and yet, you just downed a bowl of ice cream with peanut butter and that chocolatey syrup-stuff dumped all over it _for breakfast_. You live on caffeine. You’re not special for being vegetarian - just flakier and more full of yourself and your world view than the average bear. You think you’re something special, don’t you? You think you’re so enlightened, so under control, so likable? Well, you’re not. Rather, you’re an insecure, self-hating, obsessive, arrogant pig, and you’re too scared of everyone seeing that to make any more friends. How many real friends _do_ you have, anyways? Do you need more than one hand to count them? Didn’t think so. How about the number of times you’ve fallen on love? A lot - you’d need to remove your socks to count _that_. But how many times have those little puppy-crushes formed into something meaningful? Put those socks back on. Sure, you had a major falling-in-love the year before last, that so changed your life. You put her on a pedestal and aspired to be like her. You still get sweaty and nervous when you hear her name. But guess what? It’s been almost two years since you’ve seen her. Get over her and when you get back to school, ask your current crush out. Quit worrying about ‘common ground’ and ‘compatibility’, and how she’s your sister’s best friend. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You’re quite a reject for being so ‘high above everything’. ---
**Author:** ![irkenDoom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c2a13f/32.png) [@irkenDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irkenDoom)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/95 "2002-06-22T00:54:46Z")
first off, you fucking tool, you waste _everybody’s_ time by resurrecting this dead thread. :smack: plus, you haven’t posted in, what, a month? what, afraid somebody’s going to laugh at you, you worthless introverted social retard? who the hell cares? no one’s even going to read this post anyway, like they pay attention to you in the first place. your parents didn’t for the first half of your wasted childhood, and the only reason why they did for the second half was to punish you for being so goddamned stupid! and why should they pay attention to you? look at you now. lazy, irresponsible, can’t even save enough money to pay for groceries, let alone your student loans. speaking of which, why don’t you draw anymore? oh, wait, i know why, you are an abysmal artist! hell, your skills have deteriorated so much, were you ever even all that good in the first place? i vote “no” on that one. two and a half years of college had proven that theory. yep, TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS of a lackluster education at what is nothing more than a weed-smoke-filled party school has got you nowhere. that should have been cake, you should have flown through (shudder) _art school_, but _nooooooo!_ you had to fuck _that_ up, too! maybe if you would have actually gone to classes instead of staying home and watching that fucking game show network crap, you could have turned in a decent project. i take that back. you could never complete anything, and God forbid it should actually be decent. so here you are, a meat wrapper at the local supermarket. that’s the best you could do? you have skills in 3D animation software, and all you can do is toss a couple of packages of ground pork on a shelf? **THAT’S IT??!?** feh. you are no better than the beef tripe you slap a price tag on. you don’t even deserve to be thrown in somebody’s stew. you’d just give someone trichinosis. why not give it to yourself? you’d be doing your family and friends a great favor, you’d finally, for once in your life, be doing something productive. that’s right, kill yourself. heh, why do i even bother flaming you, **irkenDoom**? you can’t even bring yourself to carrying out my request to kill yourself, so obviously you’re not listening. yeah, fine. just go back to downloading what ever mind-rotting crap you were wanting, and bitching to yourself about how you should never have been born. you’re right, you are fucking lucky to have that wonderful fiancee, you don’t deserve her. and you don’t deserve my advice/pep talk anymore. so please, do politely fuck off and die. i’m serious. die. ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/96 "2002-06-22T03:36:18Z")
Dammit! Why the hell do you keep losing track of what… 😕 Huh? What was I talking about? ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/97 "2002-06-22T04:32:00Z")
**TRAMP** god fucking dammit. You should have just kept your fucking mouth shut tonight. So he wanted to go to Atlantic City with the boys and you threw a big hissy fit. I hate to break it to you but you acted like a total fucking cunt. You whined and cried and guess fucking what… HE WENT ANYWAY. You stupid bitch, it didn’t matter. Could you give im e fucking break for just one weekend? Listen slut, you better loosen your grip on him or he’s going to leave you high and dry. And you think you want to MARRY him??? Well for fucksake girl, no guy wants to marry a nag. Besides, you shouldn’t EVEN be fucking thinking about that until you finish law school. You have way too much shit going on right now, you don’t need the complication of commitment. SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN. And quit the fucking smoking. That’s right, put the cigarette down, bitch. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Deadly\_Nightlight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Deadly\_Nightlight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deadly_Nightlight)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/98 "2002-06-23T18:48:11Z")
Deadly Nightlight, you moron! You are smart! Go to school! You got a 27 on your act, you got almost a perfect score on the asset. No one is looking at how fat you are! So what If you barely fit in the desk, Lose some fucking weight~! before you knew you was sick you had an excuse, Now that you know what is wrong you no longer have an excuse. Change your lifestyle! Stop freaking killing yourself! you sent yourself to the hospital last week with blood sugar so high they thought you had been chowing on sugar all day. Stop obsessing over your husband who is divorcing you and the man who really loves you but can’t make up his fucking mind. You really don’t need either of them. It will all work out in time. Get a freaking life and quit helping everyone else with theirs. Its really good and great that you are always there for everyone else but what about yourself. When is the last time you put yourself before your friends? 1990? Quit letting people use you! you know excactly who they are. get rid of them, or are you so patheic that you have to have them in your life because you have no social skills and are afraif you will never make anymore friends? Stop being afraid to go out and meet people. No one is judging you so get over it. get some fucking self esteem! Yours sincerly, Deadly nightlight ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/99 "2002-06-24T03:20:20Z")
Quit complaining about being fat and do something about it! Get off your ass and exercise and lay off the fast food! Cook something once in a while! Do you want to have more kids or not? ---
**Author:** ![Reinhold\_Messner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Reinhold\_Messner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reinhold_Messner)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447/100 "2002-06-29T15:37:20Z")
Dirty hippie. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flame-yourself-thread/102447.md?page=6)