# The Fleshlight (adult theme)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 15, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993 "2009-02-15T21:09:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/21 "2009-02-16T02:28:27Z")

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I thought Andy Walhol’s Dr. Frankenstein recommended the gall bladder, rather than the liver.

(Thank the magazine CASTLE OF FRANKENSTEIN for the fact that I know that.)

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**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/22 "2009-02-16T02:35:25Z")

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I could be mistaken about the size of the average gall bladder (or the size of the average penis) but I just don’t see any but the teeniest weenie fitting in a gall bladder.

I believe Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein also said

“Her insides are all out”

and

“Now, I must be dead.”

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**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/23 "2009-02-16T02:58:11Z")

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Well, of all the masturbation threads that have appeared recently, this has been the most enlightening.

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**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/24 "2009-02-16T04:05:30Z")

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> [@freckafree](#):
>
> Well, of all the masturbation threads that have appeared recently, this has been the most enlightening.

Tell me about it. Next time I go in the local “lingerie” store I’m going to ask the old fart at the desk “For male masturbation aids, let me see your selection of oblongated balloons… don’t have any? Well, do you have liver with electrodes attached? I heard that’s pretty good too.”

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**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/25 "2009-02-16T05:01:09Z")

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They look too comical to be takes seriously.

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**Author:** ![Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Seeker\_of\_Truth\_and\_Beauty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seeker_of_Truth_and_Beauty)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/26 "2009-02-16T05:16:49Z")

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I have one\* and it’s truly the most amazing sex toy I’ve ever owned – it feels almost like real flesh. I can’t get enough (well, when it’s available to me).

**Illumi,** I wasn’t aware you could really turn the sleeve inside out – doesn’t that harm it in some way?

Upthread was discussion of the “state of the art” in masturbation appliances. The Real Touch (at realtouch DOT com, very NSFW) plugs into your computer through the USB port and attaches to your penis and controls the, uh, stimulation in sync with videos onscreen.

\*It’s in storage. I haven’t even _seen_ it in over a year. Just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean I don’t own anything.

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/27 "2009-02-16T05:25:12Z")

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I bought my husband one for his birth day a year ago.

Pro: the novelty and the adjustable vacuum. The thing literally sucks, with no electricity.

Neutral: it’s an fun experience. The package is inconspicuous, like a black electronics thingie.

Con: cleaning after each use.

My husband tells me he uses it about once every two months now.

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**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/28 "2009-02-16T07:27:48Z")

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> [@EJsGirl](#):
>
> Sounds like a fake vagina that one fucks. Am I close? 'Cuz there’s no way I’m Googling it…

Imagine a flashlight with a labia/vagina instead of a light.  
Sorry if my anatomic description is bad, I don’t get that stuff, ha ha.

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**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/29 "2009-02-16T08:09:47Z")

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> [@Seeker of Truth & Beauty](#):
>
> **Illumi,** I wasn’t aware you could really turn the sleeve inside out – doesn’t that harm it in some way?

I don’t think so - anyway, I’ve only done that twice to give it a thorough clean, think dry dock. 🙂

> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> Con: cleaning after each use.

I don’t get how this is a con, cleaning it takes all of one minute.

In terms of the killer app of male sex toys, that’s supposed to be the Tenga Flip Hole - http: // [TENGA FLIP Series | Official TENGA UK](http://www.tenga.co.uk/shop-tenga/tenga-flip-hole/) (NSFW). I can see that it would be great fun but even I’m loathe to spend £70 on one.

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**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/30 "2009-02-16T10:13:33Z")

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> [@Illuminatiprimus](#):
>
> I don’t get how this is a con, cleaning it takes all of one minute.

I’ll cop to having one (two actually). It’s not that they’re hard to clean, it’s that cleaning is the LAST thing on my mind shortly thereafter.

Not a gimmick, they work really well, but the nature of human anatomy makes it pretty high maintenance so it’s more of an occasional thing.

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**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/31 "2009-02-16T10:20:02Z")

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> [@Mudshark](#):
>
> They look too comical to be takes seriously.

Hey - don’t knock it until you’ve tried it buddy. 😛

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**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/32 "2009-02-16T17:16:17Z")

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So is this thing powered or is it just manually operated? If the latter, why not just do the job by hand? Or is there something I’m missing?

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**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/33 "2009-02-16T17:21:14Z")

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> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> So is this thing powered or is it just manually operated? If the latter, why not just do the job by hand? Or is there something I’m missing?

It’s manual, no moving parts. What you’re missing is that a Fleshlight is inteded to simulate a body orifice and it does that quite well, so in terms of pleasure it’s a step above the hand. Of course the hand works fine, but IMO if you’re going to masturbate why not make the experience as pleasurable as possible?

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**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/34 "2009-02-16T17:25:08Z")

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A video demo can be found on the Fleshlight website.

[Link](http://www.fleshlight.com/) (NSFW, obviously.)

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**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/35 "2009-02-16T17:52:39Z")

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> [@Illuminatiprimus](#):
>
> It’s manual, no moving parts. What you’re missing is that a Fleshlight is inteded to simulate a body orifice and it does that quite well, so in terms of pleasure it’s a step above the hand. Of course the hand works fine, but IMO if you’re going to masturbate why not make the experience as pleasurable as possible?

So do you just hold it in your hand and go like an ordinary wank, or is there some special way it’s used?

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**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/36 "2009-02-16T19:41:35Z")

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> [@DocCathode](#):
>
> Now _that_ is sig line material!

Thank you sir for making me laugh! 😃

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**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/37 "2009-02-16T19:45:02Z")

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> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> So do you just hold it in your hand and go like an ordinary wank, or is there some special way it’s used?

You can either sit still and move it up or down (like a normal wank) or you can hold it and use your hips to “fuck” it. I do either depending on what mood I’m in.

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**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/38 "2009-02-16T19:49:05Z")

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Also, a few models are “spinners.” They’ve got a texture on the inside so that turning them offers varied stimulation.

Not that I’d know that from using one or anything.

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**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/39 "2009-02-16T19:58:45Z")

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> [@DocCathode](#):
>
> I don’t think a liver would work. You need a muscular structure. A heart would be much better, probably cheaper too.

Ok, now I’m imagining a whole new type of “torture porn”, where some psycho rips out his victim’s still beating heart and fucks it.

Where’s the brain bleach.

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**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fleshlight-adult-theme/485993/40 "2009-02-16T20:11:36Z")

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> [@Jenaroph](#):
>
> Ok, now I’m imagining a whole new type of “torture porn”, where some psycho rips out his victim’s still beating heart and fucks it.
> 
> Where’s the brain bleach.

_Hands **Jenaroph** the neuraliser_

Just look into the red light and push the button on the back.

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