# The Flirt Academy: Summer Session
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 16, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734 "2001-07-16T23:21:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/1 "2001-07-16T23:21:29Z")
These hot summer months are the best time to brush up on the flirting skills because it gives everyone a chance to get their minds off the heat outside on concentrate on the heat _inside_.
Several classes will be going on at once, including an advanced course for those who successfully completed the spring semester. I want to mention a few things before the classes start, however.
[ul]
[li]This is an academy for flirting, not for cybersex. So, if it gets too hot, please, bring it elsewhere.[/li][li]As much fun as this is supposed to be, it’s also supposed to be educational. So if you have a question about flirting, don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll do my best to answer it myself, or let any of the other professors or students answer it for me.[/li][li]Let us know you’re here and what you want to get out of the academy. Good as we may be, we aren’t mind readers. We can’t help you be better flirters if we don’t know where you feel your weaknesses are.[/li][/ul]
That said, the doors are open, let the classes begin!
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### Author:  [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/2 "2001-07-16T23:38:24Z")
Ooh, am I the first one to sign up?
**TP** , let me first confess myself as an ardent admirer of your obvious skill in flirtation. That being said, I’d like to sign up for your introductory classes if I may.
My weaknesses? Hm, I think I need the most help in the initial stages. You know, attracting attention, recognizing the “signals”, initiating conversation … that sort of thing. I’d like to think I’m okay for carrying on a conversation, but who knows?
Anyway, thanks! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/3 "2001-07-16T23:39:15Z")
Someone, please. Kill this thread! Kill it! Aaahhggagaaagghhhaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/4 "2001-07-16T23:46:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by StephenG \*
> \*\*My weaknesses? Hm, I think I need the most help in the initial stages. You know, attracting attention, recognizing the “signals”, initiating conversation … that sort of thing. \*\*
If you see a woman you’d like to strike up a conversation with, simply walk over to her, introduce yourself, then drop your pants and wave your penis in circles like an airplane propeller. This will attract her attention, is an instant conversation starter, and there will be no unclear signals.
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/5 "2001-07-16T23:59:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by StephenG \*
> **Ooh, am I the first one to sign up?**
Sure are! Welcome!
> [@](#):
>
> **TP, let me first confess myself as an ardent admirer of your obvious skill in flirtation. That being said, I’d like to sign up for your introductory classes if I may.**
_blush_ Well, that’s definitely a good _start_ for a flirt. If introductory classes are where you’d like to start, then that’s where we’ll put your name.
> [@](#):
>
> **My weaknesses? Hm, I think I need the most help in the initial stages. You know, attracting attention, recognizing the “signals”, initiating conversation … that sort of thing. I’d like to think I’m okay for carrying on a conversation, but who knows?**
Ok… where to start? It’s still hard for me to put into words _how_ I flirt… I’m so much better at demonstration. But the most important thing to remember is to be yourself and try not to let what you _think_ the other person is going to think bother you. If you see a comment that can segue into a golden flirt opportunity, take it. But through all of it, don’t try to pretend to be something you’re not. Is this helping, or am I making no sense?
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*Anyway, thanks! 🙂 \*\*
My extreme pleasure! 😉
**Crunchy** , we’re trying the _slow and easy_ path here. Not the “I either wanna get slapped or laid tonight” approach!
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### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [July 16, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/6 "2001-07-16T23:59:15Z")
**Crunchy** , I think he’s looking for advice that won’t get him arrested.
I’m probably going to lurk here, **TruePisces**. Hope you don’t mind! Apparently people get the impression that I’m flirting _all the time_. Even when I’m not. Maybe I’ll learn not to flirt.
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/7 "2001-07-17T00:16:21Z")
Sheesh. Ya _try_ to help a fella out…
:rolleyes:
Ok, then don’t wave your willy around. Maybe go for the more subtle humping of her leg or sniffing her crotch.
[sub]And I have the nerve to wonder why I can’t ever get people together for a St. Louis DopeFest.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/8 "2001-07-17T00:37:38Z")
**Ginger** , lurker to your hearts content! From what I’ve seen, you would qualify to be a professor here rather than a student, anyway. (And, no, I don’t mean _all_ your other posts! :D) Join in when and if you feel like. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the lectures.
**Crunchy** , why don’t you take the seat next to **StephenG**? I think you need a refresher. After a month or two, we might get you to a point that people won’t mind being in the same room as you and actually _show up_ for a St. Louis DopeFest.
Maybe. 😉
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### Author:  [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/9 "2001-07-17T00:56:53Z")
Are we sure that “Flirt Academy” is not already a name for a porno, or for that matter, a legitimate institution? And how do I get up the courage to ask a girl out that obviously would like to go out with me? Yes, I understand that the question makes me look like a complete and utter moron.
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### Author:  [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/10 "2001-07-17T00:59:21Z")
Assistant Professor and Triplet Vixen checking in…
Hey {b]True Pisces\*\*, I didn’t know we were taking remedial students::looks in **Crunchy Frog’s** direction::
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### Author:  [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/11 "2001-07-17T01:14:40Z")
**iampunha** must be out shopping or something…
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/12 "2001-07-17T01:48:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Totoro \*
> \*\*Are we sure that “Flirt Academy” is not already a name for a porno, or for that matter, a legitimate institution? And how do I get up the courage to ask a girl out that obviously would like to go out with me? \*\*
In answer to the first question, a Google search turned up few enough hits that they can confidently use the name “Flirt Academy.”
As for the second question, I recommend liquor. Nothing makes a man more suave, debonair, charming, or brave than after he’s knocked back a dozen or so.
I don’t recommend the leg-humping approach after drinking, because one can easily lose one’s balance. I also don’t recommend the propeller-schlong approach, because it could make one dizzy if one has had one too many shots of liquid courage.
Have fun on your date!
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### Author:  [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/13 "2001-07-17T02:04:08Z")
Devoted lurker…checking in…
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### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/14 "2001-07-17T02:53:16Z")
Why am I inclined to think that TP’s post count will go up by about a hundred in this thread?🙂
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### Author:  [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/15 "2001-07-17T03:28:45Z")
**iampunha**
Are you here for class?
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### Author:  [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/16 "2001-07-17T06:35:25Z")
I have a question; something seems unclear to me from the OP and subsequent posts.
Is this a flirt academy for “real” flirting (as in, in person, face to face) or for online flirting (perhaps even SDMB flirting)? Or both? Are there seperate departments for each, or what?
Thanks.
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### Author:  [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/17 "2001-07-17T06:41:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by White Lightning \*
> \*\*
> Is this a flirt academy for “real” flirting (as in, in person, face to face) or for online flirting (perhaps even SDMB flirting)? Or both? Are there seperate departments for each, or what?_\*
I think the term you are looking for is Faculty.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/18 "2001-07-17T08:06:11Z")
Uh … huh huh huh … my name is Butt-Head … you have big thingies … COME to Butt-Head!
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/19 "2001-07-17T10:36:39Z")
**Totoro** , While I don’t know about the porn aspect here (I’ll take **Crunchy** ’s word for it, though… he’s always looking up porn), I do have my credentialing to show that this is a legitimate institution. So why don’t you sit down with the course book and see what you’d like to take this session.
**hardygrrl** , I knew I could count on you to help with this semesters new students! As far as the remedial students go… The objective is to help _everyone_ in need of flirting tutelage. Even those that are utterly hopeless. ::glances at **Crunchy** ::
**Erika** , glad to have you here! Any questions that come to mind, feel free to ask. These classes are fairly open.
**iampunha** , if I’m lucky… if I’m lucky! 🙂
**White Lightning** , it’s primarily for online flirting, but if a student wants assistance in real life flirting, we’ve been known to offer advice there as well. It’s just a little more difficult to do the lab work that way.
**Snooooopy** , why don’t you go over and sit next to **Crunchy**? We have a nice class starting for the two of you…
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### Author:  [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)
#### Post date: [July 17, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/20 "2001-07-17T12:23:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \*
> \*\*
> [sub]And I have the nerve to wonder why I can’t ever get people together for a St. Louis DopeFest.[/sub] \*\*
And what makes it worse is people presume Tequila would be there, and STILL stay away. Wonder why. Is it Crunchy talking about his balls too much?
I probably should sign up for the class, but the teacher scares me.
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