# The Flirt Academy: Summer Session **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 16, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734 "2001-07-16T23:21:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/21 "2001-07-17T12:53:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > **I’m so much better at demonstration.** Mmm-hmm…Really? Wouldn’t know a thing about that… Your devoted student assistant checking in, Lady Instructor. I’ve got a bullwhip and chair ready to help corral Snooooopy and Humpy Frog - might be best to keep the remedials well away from those who are truly here to learn. Lesson 1, boys: “Can I touch yer boobies?” will not ever be an effective opening line. [sub]If you ever find that that _does_ work, call me immediately. You’ve obviously run across a female who’s desperately in need of some, ah, instruction of her own.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/22 "2001-07-17T13:54:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*Uh … huh huh huh … my name is Butt-Head … you have big thingies … COME to Butt-Head! \*\* Aww shit, that does it now I’m HOT. First I was almost overcome by the propeller-willy maneuver but I was able to resist it but this…this just drove me clear over the edge. [sub]perhaps I should join the boys in the remedial section…uhm maybe I could offer some assistance[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/23 "2001-07-17T14:14:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*[sub]And I have the nerve to wonder why I can’t ever get people together for a St. Louis DopeFest.[/sub] \*\* We’d all actually LOVE to watch you spinning your wiener around like a rubberband-driven toy autogyro. It’s the “go to St. Louis” part that we’re having trouble with. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/24 "2001-07-17T14:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \ ***Crunchy Frog** > And I have the nerve to wonder why I can’t ever get people together for a St. Louis DopeFest. I don’t remember ever being invited to non-existant St. Loius Dopefests! Now your making me cry! ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/25 "2001-07-17T14:49:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > > [sub]perhaps I should join the boys in the remedial section…uhm maybe I could offer some assistance[/sub] \*\* Mermaid, TP (via phone) says go for it. We need all the help we can get. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/26 "2001-07-17T15:04:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > **…that does it now I’m HOT.** Can I touch yer boobies? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/27 "2001-07-17T18:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > > \*\*Uh … huh huh huh … my name is Butt-Head … you have big thingies … COME to Butt-Head! \*\* > > Aww shit, that does it now I’m HOT. First I was almost overcome by the propeller-willy maneuver but I was able to resist it but this…this just drove me clear over the edge. > > [sub]perhaps I should join the boys in the remedial section…uhm maybe I could offer some assistance[/sub] \*\* Uh … huh huh huh … huh huh huh … she said “willy” … huh huh huh … that RULEZ, Beavis … huh huh huh … huh huh huh. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/28 "2001-07-17T18:30:41Z")
:: **Sunspace** enters the room:: Another clueless non-flirter here, seeking social enlightenment. Even in [mead-soaked European party threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76984) it seems I’m not doing something right. ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/29 "2001-07-17T20:04:27Z")
::katiekilldare tippy-toes in wearing big Jackie O sunglasses and takes a seat on the back row:: ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/30 "2001-07-17T21:04:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > \*\*::katiekilldare tippy-toes in wearing big Jackie O sunglasses and takes a seat on the back row:: \*\* ``` Gee, **Katie's** off to a good start...most people would've sat IN the back row. She just plopped herself down on **StephenG's** lap..... ``` ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/31 "2001-07-17T21:24:37Z")
I’m a natural! ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/32 "2001-07-17T21:41:49Z")
Really? I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask for a cite to back up that assertion. ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/33 "2001-07-17T21:49:41Z")
You don’t think my unintentional sitting on **Stephen G** ’s lap doesn’t make me an unusually gifted flirt? You don’t? Oh. Is it because I’m not drunk? I bet it would work if I was drunk. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/34 "2001-07-17T22:04:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > **iampunha** > Are you here for class? Um . . . well, the odds of me being able to use and of this so-called “flirting” is slim to none. I seem to be able to flirt on the boards with enough decency that it looks like flirting. But IRL I am relatively hopeless, though as I said I don’t have anyone I’d be flirting WITH (oh, damnit . . . and I’m an English major, too). Maybe some private instruction for the interminably pathetic? ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/35 "2001-07-17T22:12:27Z")
I’m quite sure I need **lots** of help with my flirting skills… ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/36 "2001-07-17T22:58:40Z")
**lurker** , wait until Friday night. Then you’ll know what _real_ fear is!!! 😃 **Ty** , corral to your heart’s content. Glad to have you along this session. If you do well this time through, I’ll think about bumping you up to instructor for the next session… as long as you pass the appropriate finals, that is. [sub]Though your comment to **TheMermaid** is starting to pull your overall ratings down, you know… [/sub] **Sunspace** , your technique wasn’t bad at all there. I think it was just a matter of timing and getting lost in the crowd. We can help you work on it, though. Where do you think your weaknesses are, and how would you like us to help you? **katie** , you _are_ a natural… but I knew that from meeting you in Sarasota!!! 😃 (Oh, and **Ty** , dear, don’t let her fool you… drunk or sober, she’s all the same… cite her all you want, though. If you both accept, I’m passing her off on you for some tutelage…) **hardygrrl** , see to **punha’s** course of study, would you, dear? **Aphrodite** , where do you think your weak points lie? And how do you prefer learning? Q & A or by practice and correction? ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/37 "2001-07-17T23:51:55Z")
Where do my weak points lie? Where to begin? I’m somewhat flirty… but I can’t flirt first (I don’t think I know how) and either Q & A or practice and correction, but it seems trial and error is my usual method! ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/38 "2001-07-18T00:19:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aphrodite \* > **Where do my weak points lie? Where to begin?** I know just where to begin. I’d be more than happy to evaluate you for weak points, soft spots, and tender areas, being careful to use the gentlest techniques. Why don’t you just lie down over here… ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/39 "2001-07-18T01:48:32Z")
I’d like to enroll as well, if possible. My problems arise mostly in catching signals, and, when I do catch them, reacting in any manner but “ah, shucks”, and a slow embarassed retreat. I learn best through observation and experience. \ ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734/40 "2001-07-18T02:01:20Z")
Any lady dopers out there? My legs need shaving :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-flirt-academy-summer-session/72734.md?page=3)