# The following is not cat food **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 18, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780 "2004-10-18T04:18:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/61 "2004-10-19T18:21:48Z")
We’re beginning to suspect that our younger Singapura, Ozzy, will eat just about anything you offer him. He loves beef jerky (and will attack the spouse to get it), cream of mushroom soup, and canned pumpkin. Oh, and he loves to gnaw on plastic bags. He doesn’t eat them, just gnaws on them and leaves hundreds of little kitty teeth-marks all along the edges. We can’t figure out why he does it–I guess he doesn’t get enough plastic in his diet. But as long as he isn’t actually _ingesting_ the things we figure it’s okay to keep letting him do it. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/62 "2004-10-19T21:11:17Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Oh, and he loves to gnaw on plastic bags. He doesn’t eat them, just gnaws on them and leaves hundreds of little kitty teeth-marks all along the edges. We can’t figure out why he does it–I guess he doesn’t get enough plastic in his diet. But as long as he isn’t actually _ingesting_ the things we figure it’s okay to keep letting him do it. I’ve got one that will _lick_ plastic bags. You know, the plastic grocery store bags and the plastic sleeves the newspaper comes in on rainy days? If I have one out (the grocery store bags) to carry something somewhere in, she’ll lick-lick-lick at it till the sound drives me crazy. Like yours, she doesn’t eat it, just licks it. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/63 "2004-10-19T21:38:27Z")
Tybalt, the Fuzzy Black Land Shark, currently spends his evenings trying to eat flickering blobs of reflected light in the linoleum floor. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/64 "2004-10-19T22:33:20Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Tybalt, the Fuzzy Black Land Shark… Ha! That’s great! “Fuzzy Black Land Shark.” I am sooo stealing that for my cat Kipper. Hope you don’t mind. I got “Power-Shedding” from the thread about dogs, now I know what to call my cat. This board is great, I tell you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/65 "2004-10-19T23:23:12Z")
This is a funny thread to read. Makes me think about what my cat eat and drinks that is not particularly part of a cat diet. Shoe laces. He attacks them - by preference when you are unaware of it that he is even in the room - and does not mind to give a few scratches at the (mostly) innocent hand that is occupied in untying them. When you lock your shoes up behind the safety of wardrobe doors, no problem for Cat Maniak. He can open them whenever he gets the occasion with as result shoes spread all over the floor with mutilated and partially eaten laces. Fries. (= BELGIAN fries because no, that is **not** and French invention nor is it a French National Dish). No way you can eat them without Cat demanding By Rule of The Claw to have a few. Cake. And other sweeties among which by preference a speciality of my homeland, prepared with lots of sugar and almonds. Chocolate and chocolate milk. Belgian chocolats/chocolate of course (I would betray my roots if we ever had something else far or nearby our home). Couscous and related stuff. Prepared and by preference hot. In my opinion he sees it as eatable cat litter, substituting the real stuff he doesn’t have but most certainly has heard stories of, told by his friends. Melasse. That is as far as I know horse food which is sometimes used as an addition to corn horsemeal. Not so for Cat. He jumps fearles before the noses of eating horses(conditioned to undergo this calmly) and launches himself into the coffins where it is stored to get his share. No need to give a picture how Cat looks like whenever he visited such a depot . (Also no need for us to panick when he is lost for more then a day… First thought then goes to Cat locked up where you would not expect a normal cat to be.) Source Water.(dont know how you name that in English = water bottled at its natural source) Cat manages to develop changing preferences for brands and types (with natural gaz or half gaz or flat) and you can count on it that whenever he sees you with a glas of water, he is planning the attack for steeling your drink. You can’t put it on a table and turn your back for a second, you can’t leave it one moment out of your sight when Cat is around. He also refuses to drink other water then his brand-of-the-moment which is interchangable without any warning. (If he would give a warning you could eventually drink the brand or type he suddenly doesn’t like, but as things are you must develop Cat Mind Reading Skill for applying that solution) He also want his favourite brand of the moment available in every room, including bathrooms, where it must be put in the middle of the bath. (Imagine the surprize of visiting guests when we fail to inform them about all of this) Fish. Not for eating. He refuses to eat fish. Yet as I am a close to lunatic admirer of tropical fishes, he must see that as a threat to his postion as King of the House. Hence he brings those I dare to bring into his Kingdom constantly to the idea that they are in life danger. This he can do even when the fishtanks are nicely covered up and hence beyond the of reach of Cat claws… If you would be talking about a normal cat. Not so with the one that terrorizes me and my poor fish. One day he was almost electrocuted because of his attempt to murder them while they were a bit more reachable since the tank was getting cleaned. Lucky for Cat and Fish the lights of the attacked fishtank were out when he jumped into it, destroying lamps and a few other things. I think that came as the result of so many years of stored frustration. Sidenote: I never saw a cat swim before. He was even better at that then the fish, who were (I wonder why) all of a sudden hiding and invisible. Dog. Cat eats the giant newfoundlander, who often shows some strange tiny hairless spots on his cute black ears. This is the result of Cat chewing on Dog while sharing the same spot wherever Dog puts himself to rest and Cat wants to be too. It always takes as long as Dog can push Cat away gently giving sometimes that Cat gives up or leaves. Yet mostly Dog simply leaves and Cat wins the Place in the Sun. Cat does not do the same with the Cocker Spaniel who also inhabits the Kingdom. I wonder why. Human. I shall spare you the horrible details of these personal attacks. Suffice to say that you know now why, whenever I am where the home of my Cat is, I feel slightly terrorized. Salaam. A ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/66 "2004-10-20T00:25:15Z")
Minx does the usual. french fries, potato chips, etc, too. But make no mistake, the shrimp is hers. If anyone eats shrimp in this house it is because she is sharing with you - never the other way around 🙂 Milk. She will sit about a foot away from me and just stare whenever I eat cereal - it makes me terribly uncomfortable 🙂 (I know milk isn’t good for cats, but she just gets whatever just can cover the bottom of the bowl - can’t be more than a couple of tablespoons once or twice a week). The weird one is butter. She loves to lick the butter 😕 And, I love my girl, but I am just NOT going to use kitty licked butter, so in the trash it goes. The one that really bothers me is tinsel. I’m not even sure where she finds it because since I couldn’t break her of the habit I no longer put it on the Christmas tree. The cat takes shiny shits from mid-December to mid-January. It’s quite disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/67 "2004-10-20T01:05:18Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Hope you don’t mind. Well, I don’t, but you should check with Tybalt. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WaryEri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ea666f/32.png) [@WaryEri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WaryEri)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/68 "2004-10-20T02:42:16Z")
Jacob Farli, kitty of opposable thumbs, is an aloe fiend. Some one gave my mother an aloe plant not long after we got Jake. He had it chewed down to the roots by morning. We tried again with another plant a few years later, and he devoured it again. He must have a very soft, supple mouth. He also stalks and murders hair elastics, and once beat a medium sized spider \* nearly\* to death, but he’s a sport hunter and doesn’t eat his kills. Mean Cat is boring. She just eats cat food and bugs. ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/69 "2004-10-20T02:52:55Z")
I miss my fuzzy black land shark so very much ☹ He LOVES Hawaiian Bread. That’s what I eat (in bed) when I’m not feeling well, and if I don’t share, I am soon not feeling well and also bleeding. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/70 "2004-10-20T07:56:56Z")
Nekko loves jojoba oil. No other kind of oil will do, it has to be jojoba. He will drink 4oz of it at a time. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/71 "2004-10-20T08:12:02Z")
Feed not thy pets chocolate, for it is anathema to them. [Thus spake the Lord.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_211.html) weird things Moonshadow likes: licking plastic bags and magazines, sometimes the walls Zen’s food (Moonshadow is on a special diet) garbanzo bean juice, even though she barfs afterwards Zen’s barf (almost as good as Zen’s food apparently) weird things Zen likes: butter Doritos acorn squash french fries biscuits chewing on cardboard (I think Zen is like the spiritual mother of several other Doper’s cats) Zen doesn’t beg. She sits in a regal fashion and stares at you, demanding to know where her tribute is. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/72 "2004-10-20T09:03:36Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > But for the record, the following is NOT part of your diet: > > -lettuce > -potato chips > -toast crusts > -tuna salad > -microwave popcorn > -chocolate chip cookies > -saltine crackers > [@sturmhauke](#): > > weird things Zen likes: > butter > Doritos > acorn squash > french fries > biscuits > chewing on cardboard > [@tdn](#): > > To my girlfriend’s cat: > > Electrical cords are not cat food. > Glue is not cat food. > Magic marker ink is not cat food. > Electricity (from an outlet) is not cat food. > [@WhyNot](#): > > BBQ ribs are not cat food > BBQ chicken is not cat food > BBQ potato chips are not cat food > (Are we seeing a pattern here?) > Campbell’s beef vegetable soup is not cat food > Plastic grocery bags are not cat food > My hairbrush is not cat food > Neither is my head. > [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Dry dog food isn’t cat food. > Hamburger buns are not cat food. > Giant blocks of pepper jack cheese are not cat food. > Uncooked pasta is not cat food. Ah, if only there was some was we could combine and compile all this useful information for out feline friends. Some way to help them more easily live their lives and perform their tasks. Yes, that’s definitely what’s needed by a cat - a list! Okay, it’s a stretch. Shaddup. ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/73 "2004-10-20T11:48:29Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > My cat Nicky eats cantaloupe. He can smell it from the other end of the house and comes running. > The other cat demands tuna and lunch meat and other tasty meat treats, but he doesn’t want any of that stuff - just cantaloupe. What a weird cat. When we first got Oops, and she had not yet revealed her true nature of Oopsness to us, we were seriously comtemplating naming her Melony, because of her intense love of cantalope. Her first Christmas with us was the last time we used tinsel on a tree, too. I thought I was picking up a stray piece of tinsel, only to find that I was actually pulling it out of her butt. It didn’t bother her half as much as it bothered me, but we knew that couldn’t be good for her and the tinsel was hoovered off the Christmas Branch that evening. Jake, the cat that came with our house, insists on having his water served to him in a glass like ours. Obviously, a bowl is too common for him. Oops also loves Bailys Irish Cream and Amaretto and cream. We can’t leave the glass alone for a moment once she smells it. And she gets aggressive at the sight of Laughing Cow cheese bits. I can barely get it unwrapped without her grabbing it out of my hand. I’ve quit trying to eat it at home - I have to eat it at work if I want conflict-free cheesebits. Ain’t cats wonderful? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catsmeow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Catsmeow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catsmeow)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/74 "2004-10-20T20:32:39Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > Zen doesn’t beg. She sits in a regal fashion and stares at you, demanding to know where her tribute is. In our house we call this the “Sacrificial (insert food choice here)”. Frex the “Sacrificial Peanut” or “Sacrificial Fry”. It must be done before said food is placed in the suplicants mouth or the suplicants will get no peace during dinner. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/75 "2004-10-21T01:05:55Z")
Corn pads are not cat food My hair is not cat food Dental floss is NOT cat food (while it’s admirable that she is so interested in good dental hygeine,I don’t think the mint floss I use is made for cats) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/76 "2004-10-21T14:40:27Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Squeaker had a nasty midnight snack habbit: my leg. For a few weeks, until I trained him to not chew on my leg, I had to sleep with jeans on. I AM NOT CAT FOOD! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!! ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/77 "2004-10-21T21:51:13Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Cats are omnivirous and going to eat whatever’s laying around and edible so, actuallty, if those items aren’t in the fridge or covered on the counter, they are part of his diet. No- cats are carnivores. But yes, many cats have some odd food fetish. My cat likes cat food, and never eats people food, but my neighbor’s cat loves sweets- like powdered donuts! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/78 "2004-10-21T22:24:25Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Oh, and he loves to gnaw on plastic bags. He doesn’t eat them, just gnaws on them and leaves hundreds of little kitty teeth-marks all along the edges. We can’t figure out why he does it–I guess he doesn’t get enough plastic in his diet. But as long as he isn’t actually _ingesting_ the things we figure it’s okay to keep letting him do it. Shit, Noel does this! Every time we have a plastic bag or wrapper, we have to keep it away from Noel, as she’ll sit there licking and chewing on it. My mom loves M&Ms, especially the Minis, and the plastic containers have those little plastic rings like you see on medicine bottles. A couple of times Noel has pulled those little rings out of the trash and when you try to take them off of her, she gets all pissy. All of them love cottage cheese-mostly Misty and Maggie. Misty, however, just licks up the cream, leaving a plate full of licked curds. Not to worry, though. Maggie will then come along and eat them up. When we first brought Piper Grace home, she got pretty sick and was throwing up a lot of fabric type particles. At first we thought she was chewing on the carpet, then we found out she had been munching away on the underside lining of the new sofa and loveseat. My parents had to take some old sheets and staple them to the undersides of said pieces, so she wouldn’t do it anymore. Oh, and Buffy eats previously shed hair clumps from the others that she finds on the floor. Da’hell? The butter, milk and cheese kitties don’t surprise me-most cats seem to like milk based foods. ---
**Author:** ![Graycat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Graycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Graycat)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/79 "2004-10-21T23:53:43Z")
The powdered-sugar donut cat reminds me of a cat I had in college. He had a thing about glazed doughnuts. On the rare occasions we brought a box home, if it was left out he would rip into the box and eat a hole about the size of a quarter in each donut in the box. I wouldn’t have minded so much if he had just stolen one! ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780/80 "2004-10-22T01:06:20Z")
> [@Graycat](#): > > he would rip into the box and eat a hole about the size of a quarter in each donut in the box. I wouldn’t have minded so much if he had just stolen one! But then he would be a dog, not a cat! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-following-is-not-cat-food/269780.md?page=5)