# The Fortunately/Unfortunately Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419 "2003-11-15T13:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/221 "2003-12-20T18:14:26Z")
Fortunately, **Diceman** spots a sign: > [@](#): > > See the famous, historic _Morning Breath Stream_ > \<---- 2 Miles Perhaps that wormhole is still there? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/222 "2003-12-21T05:15:20Z")
Unfortunately, the wormhole has been eaten by a gigantic Space Roc. Fortunately, the bird is still around, and so huge it doesn’t even notice our group as they stow themselves away amidst its plumage, knowing that at any moment it is likely to make a quantum jump to another (hopefully more enjoyable) part of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/223 "2003-12-21T17:26:19Z")
unfortunately, big bird’s got lice. _huge_ lice. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/224 "2003-12-21T18:56:26Z")
fortunately **norinew** has a large bottle of Lice-b-Gone™ and a mega-wetter™ ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/225 "2003-12-22T00:28:15Z")
Unfortunately, the lice are resistant to even **norinew’s** defenses, and they’re eyeing our group with hungry menace. Fortunately, as the group is pondering whether to abandon Roc, the bird makes its quantum jump, and the merry band tumble off it… where? Well, it has a mild climate, soft breezes, tame-looking woods dotted here and there amid sweet meadows. As the Roc quantums off to another dimension (taking its huge lice with it), the group settle down for a quick nap before figuring out their next move. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/226 "2003-12-22T08:49:28Z")
unfortunately, the group failed to post a watch and they’re ambushed by 3 large rats! they lose initiative and the rats get a free bite out of everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/227 "2003-12-22T12:42:45Z")
Fortunately, they decide that our group tastes terrible, so they wander away into some trees. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/228 "2003-12-22T13:13:08Z")
Unfortunately, when **norinew** reaches into her backpack for bandages, she finds instead only handkerchiefs! Can the ever-ready rucksack be – GASP! – running out? ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/229 "2003-12-22T17:14:29Z")
No because fortunately **norinew** finds a large roll of bandages tucked right at the bottom of the backpack. Phew… Unfortunately, there is also other **evil** stuff lying at the bottom of **norinew** ’s backpack, and suddenly, **ETF** is sucked into **norinew** ’s backpack, _never too be seen again!_ ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/230 "2003-12-22T17:24:35Z")
Fortunately, in this land, “never” is defined as “one minute, 18.9 seconds”. After precisely one never, **ETF** is expelled from the backpack by the mysterious evil thing. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/231 "2003-12-23T01:24:07Z")
Unfortunately, the evil thing has been whispering directions to another treasure in **ETF’s** ears while she was trapped with it. The tri-cat tells the group about the Gold of the Grudging Gopher King, that lies waiting to be found in the Land of Shallow Rivers, not realizing that removing the treasure from its hiding place will release the evil thing from its bondage in **norinew’s** backpack, where it’s been enchanted into producing any and all required items. Fortunately, the merry band laugh the story to scorn. Unfortunately, **ETF** produces a godl coiin to prove her story, and suddenly the group beomce convinced. They study the directions and realize that the Land of Shallow Rivers is on the other side of a range of gentle hills to the north. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/232 "2003-12-23T01:45:16Z")
Fortunately (although, ironically, it seems Unfortunate to the group, because they don’t know the whole truth), there is a strange magnetic field blocking their passage toward the North. Could be Divine Intervention, could be just luck, depending on whether or not your a theist. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/233 "2003-12-23T01:46:44Z")
Or depending on whether or not **you’re** a theist.😃 ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/234 "2003-12-23T12:06:00Z")
Unfortunately, the group are able to pass through the magnetic field unharmed, it just leaves a few of their hairs standing on end. (Is that fortunate or unfortunate?) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419/235 "2003-12-23T12:57:12Z")
Fortunately, several of the travelers like the punk look, so hair standing on end suits them just fine. Unfortunately, others don’t like the look, and find the hairs standing on end as annoying as hell. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-fortunately-unfortunately-game/213419.md?page=11)